CHAPTER 1

Monica’s eyes eased open and she stretched sleepily, enjoying the feeling of the warm sun against her face. Her arm swept over the place on the bed where Andrew should have been and she rolled over, eyes open and with just a hint of sadness. She had been home for two days and Andrew still had not rejoined her. Normally when she wasn’t sure when he would be back she spent the time between assignments at her Home in Heaven. Being in the little cottage alone tended to make her miss her husband even more. This time, however, she had felt drawn to it and although there was a tinge of loneliness about everything, she felt closer to him and that was enough to keep her there.

She rolled out of bed and padded down the stairs to the kitchen. The smell of coffee was already in the air, and she smiled rather smugly at the fact that despite her limitations with some of the other appliances, she had no trouble whatsoever with the coffee maker, including the delayed timer function. Sitting down at the table she looked out the window and wondered how her husband was doing.

Her last two assignments, completed back-to-back had taken a little more than three weeks and both had turned out wonderfully. It had been nice to work with Tess again, just like back in the ‘old days’, and true to their word, Alex and Paul had called her on her very non-standard-issue cell phone and had insisted on driving almost an hour and a half to meet her for lunch. She had been hoping that they would bring the baby along with them, but Paul had managed to pry him from Alex’s protective grasp and drop him off at her parent’s place. Summer was still in full-swing and even with air-conditioning a long drive with a small baby was somewhat less than relaxing.

Neither of them had heard from Andrew, and so that had answered her question about whether he was in the DC area. She felt him in her heart daily, little surges of love that made her feel like he was right beside her, but in fact she had no idea where he had been sent.

As she finished off the last of her cup of coffee she contemplated a walk through the woods and down by the lake. It was always peaceful there and if Andrew was thinking about her she knew that she would be able to hear him perfectly. She stood up and moved to drop her cup off in the sink, but almost immediately she sat back down again. The uncomfortable feeling in her stomach had come on suddenly and she took a deep breath and waited for it to subside. Her fingers clutched at her nightgown as a light sweat broke out on her forehead and then she was running for the bathroom, one hand pressed to her mouth.

She barely made it in time and as she knelt on the floor, with her eyes closed, breath finally returning to normal, all she could think about was how much she wished Andrew was there to hold her. Still feeling a little weak she got to her feet and rinsed her mouth out at the sink. The one good thing was that since she had experienced human illness before at least she wasn’t in complete shock. However, she couldn’t imagine what had caused her to become so sick so fast.

Wandering back into the kitchen her eyes spotted the coffee cup still on the table. Maybe that was it. Under Tess’ watchful eye she hadn’t been able to have nearly as much coffee, and it was possible that her body needed a bit of an adjustment period before she went back to her practically constant consumption. She washed the cup and put it into the drainer, feeling her stomach begin to settle. Maybe she would be able to take that walk after all.

*****

Three days later and Monica was lying wrapped in a thin blanket on the sofa in the living room, trying to keep down what little lunch she’d managed to eat. Since that first morning the days had fallen into a sort of routine but today was definitely the worst. The intense nausea had faded by midmorning on the other days, but now it was almost one o’clock and she had a feeling she was going to lose her battle against her own stomach.

By nighttime of the first day she hadn’t even considered that there might be anything wrong with her, and even the second day she had only thought that it was a touch of something she had picked up on her last assignment. Now she had absolutely no idea what was wrong and the uncertainty, paired with the fact that Andrew still hadn’t arrived only made her worry more.

She sat up abruptly and ran to the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later looking pale and helpless. A hundred times she had opened her heart to call out to Andrew, but she had held back. He was on assignment. The last thing he needed to be worrying over was the fact that she had an upset stomach. She would be fine. She was completely safe and had everything that she needed… everything but her husband’s loving arms around her.

The sofa looked very inviting but she forced herself out onto the porch. The fresh air had to be good for her, she reasoned. The sun was shining down but it wasn’t too hot, just pleasantly warm, and she settled down on the wicker loveseat, propping her head against a throw pillow and looking out over the lake. It was so beautiful and serene, and she felt her stomach begin to unclench and let out a sigh of relief.

She didn’t even realize that she had drifted off, but a warm touch on her cheek woke her instantly. Her eyes fluttered open and she let out a little cry as she saw Andrew’s clear green one’s looking down at her with absolute adoration.

"Andrew!" She threw her arms around his neck and practically pulled him down on top of her.

He laughed joyfully as he sat down and pulled her onto his lap, kissing her deeply and running his fingers through her hair. He had missed her so much, and holding her again was like having a little bit of Heaven in his arms.

"I don’t think I can possibly tell you how happy I am to see you, angel," he whispered against her ear. "Four weeks away from you is much too long."

"Much too long," she nodded her agreement against his neck, reluctant to let him even an inch out of her grasp.

He rubbed her back and tucked her head under his chin. "Tess said your assignments went very well," he said as he kissed her hair.

"They did," she replied, "but I still missed you the whole time."

"So did I, Monica, and I thought about you every other minute." She snuggled closer and smiled and he bent his head closer and continued huskily, "and every night I thought about what I’d do to you when I saw you again."

A sexy smile tilted up the corners of her mouth, and she looked up at him hungrily. "Oh, you did, did you?" Suddenly her stomach felt perfectly fine and she was beginning to wonder if maybe it was just the extended separation that had made her ill.

"Most definitely," he replied, "and now is as good a time as any to show you." His eyes were smoky with desire and she let out a startled cry as he swept her into his arms and carried her inside to have a proper homecoming.

*****

Monica awoke the following morning and immediately felt and heard the familiar heartbeat under her ear, but she purposefully kept her eyes closed. After four weeks, she was almost afraid she was dreaming that Andrew was right here with her, his arms wrapped tightly around her and if it was a dream, it was a wonderful one and she was in no hurry to awaken from it.

They had spent most of the previous day in bed, making love, confiding in each other about their assignments, napping and loving yet again. They had only reluctantly left their bedroom in the evening to drive into town for a romantic dinner which they spent most of just holding one another’s hands, both of them craving the constant contact after their longest separation thus far. Married now, just over a year, every touch was still as filled with love as that very first kiss in the bedroom back at the farm.

They had arrived home late and still hungry for each other. After joining together once more, Monica had fallen asleep in her husband’s arms, blissfully content and happy. Though being away from him was so very difficult, the homecomings were wonderful, though she would gladly do away with them if it meant never being apart.

She finally forced herself to open her eyes and a sleepy smile crossed her face as she gazed up at Andrew. He was still sound asleep, looking boyishly handsome, a small grin playing on his lips and the little angel’s heart filled with incredible love for him all over again. Feeling a bit mischievous, she was just getting ready to wake him up as he had not been awoken in four weeks, when she felt the now familiar churning of her stomach.

Monica swallowed again and again, trying to force back the feeling, but it was to no avail. Her body was revolting and she couldn’t even take the time to carefully untangle herself from his arms, as she bolted from the bed and into the bathroom.

Andrew awoke immediately, blinking the sleep from his eyes and trying to understand what was happening. Then he heard it. The sounds of her getting violently ill and he was only a second in getting to her side, "Baby? Sweetheart?" He rubbed her back gently, as she rested her arms against the bowl, not at all sure if it was over yet, judging by how her stomach felt.

"Sorry about dinner…" She tried to joke, but she was quickly cut off as another wave of nausea overcame her and she was retching once more. Feeling more than a little concerned, Andrew moved to grab a cool cloth to lay against the back of her neck and then simply resorted to holding her hair back and out of the way. His heart was racing, not knowing what could have brought this on other than dinner last night and he felt perfectly fine.

When it was finally over, Monica tried to stand back up weakly, but she was immediately swept up into Andrew’s arms as he carried her back to bed. Laying her down, ever so gently, he wiped at the tears on her face and bathed her forehead with the washcloth. It was only then that he noticed the slightly haunted look in her eyes.

"How long have you been sick?" He asked her softly, sitting down next to her and stroking her hair. She was still pale and noticeably queasy.

"It started four days ago," Monica explained weakly, her voice still a bit raspy, "It comes and goes and at first I thought I had just caught something from one of my assignments. Then yesterday, it went on for much longer, but when you came home and woke me up it was gone. Then I thought maybe I was just missing you so much…"

Worried lines were etched into his face as he tried to think rationally, "You may have caught a bug or something. Why didn’t you call out for me?" He wasn’t upset with her, only deeply concerned and he could tell that being sick like this for so long was starting to frighten her.

"I wanted to, but I didn’t want to worry you over something minor-."

"Baby, anything being wrong with you is nothing ‘minor’ to me," He whispered softly to her, as he caressed her cheek, "I want you in bed today. You’re going to let me take care of you and hopefully by tomorrow, you’ll feel like yourself again."

Taking his hand from her face, Monica kissed his fingertips lovingly, "You’re so good to me and I’m so glad you’re home."

"So am I. Being without you is nearly unbearable, angel," He got up and retrieved one of her nightgowns from the dresser and then returned to help her into it. Pulling the sheet and quilt up around her, he laid his hand on her forehead. She didn’t feel feverish, but she was a bit clammy. Still he wasn’t taking any chances, "How does your stomach feel now?"

"A little better actually," She stated, though she didn’t sound all that convincing.

"How about some hot tea? Do you think you could manage a piece of toast?"

"I can try," Monica conceded, letting out a breath.

"Okay, I’ll be right back," Kissing her gently, he grabbed his robe and started for the steps. It was just a flu or something, he assured himself and five days should be plenty of time for it to run its course.

*****
But two days later, Andrew was quickly approaching frantic and Monica was already on panic. The strange thing was that by midday, she felt perfectly fine and was pleading with him to allow her to get out of bed, or at the very least for him to join her there for more than sleep. Her color would be good, her energy level would definitely be up and she would sleep peacefully through the night. But by morning, she was sick and frightened and though Andrew kept it from her, he was scared as hell himself.

Everything he had ever wanted had been given to him when God had consented for them to marry and now, after watching his beloved wife morning after morning be so violently ill, he was starting to wonder if God had only intended for this to be a temporary thing. Maybe He was calling his little angel Home and only God knew when Andrew would see her again. The thought of it was more than he could bear and he knew he had to confess these fears to someone.

Paul hung up the phone with a frown and watched as Alex immediately looked up at him worriedly, "Honey, what is it? It was Andrew right? So why the serious expression?" She was holding Matthew in her arms and the baby was fast asleep at last.

"Monica is sick. She’s been sick now for a week, throwing up and then later in the day, she is fine. Needless to say, Andrew is scared shitless and needed to talk as he doesn’t want to show her how worried he is." Paul sat down beside of her and ran a hand tenderly over his son’s head, being careful not to wake him.

Alex raised her eyebrows for a moment and then mentally slapped herself for what she was even thinking. They were talking about an angel, for heaven’s sake. Marriage was one thing, but- "You think we should go?"

"Yeah, I do."

*****

"Who were you talking to?" Monica stepped into the kitchen and looked questioningly at her husband who was just hanging up the phone.

"Hey, what are you doing out of bed?" He answered her question with a question as he pulled out a chair for her.

"I’m feeling fine, I swear, and I just couldn’t stay cooped up one second longer with such a beautiful day outside." She sat down and then grabbed Andrew’s hand and peered up at him. "Now, answer my question," she said, "and don’t tell me it was Tess."

Andrew let out an aggrieved sigh before leaning up against the table. "It was just Paul, and before you ask, yes the baby is fine, and so is Alex." His quirky grin was meant to distract her but instead it brought a frown to her face.

"You called him, didn’t you," she said and it was hardly a question.

"Yes, I did," he admitted, not quite meeting her eye.

"I thought you said this was just the flu?" she said, her voice taking on a worried tone.

He was quick to kneel down next to her and take her hands in his. "And I’m sure it is, baby."

"Then why did you call Paul?"

"I just needed to talk to him."

"Because you’re worried. You think there’s something really wrong with me…" her voice was going up and she pulled her hands back and wrapped them around her body.

"Angel, no…"

"But I feel fine now! How can something be wrong with me if I feel fine now?" She stared down at him.

"Monica… angels don’t usually spend every morning throwing up… but you have." He hated the frightened look that came over her face but he couldn’t lie to her. "You’re right… I am worried. I’m sure there’s nothing really the matter, but I thought you would be feeling better by now and you aren’t."

They both fell silent and Monica’s eyes were trained on her lap as Andrew stared at her, taking in everything about her that he found absolutely breathtaking. He closed his eyes for a moment and then reached for her chin and tilted it up to look into her eyes.

"I think you should go to the doctor."

"Andrew…"

"No arguments… please?" His warm hands and his pleading green eyes stopped the protest that was waiting at the back of her throat.

"All right," she said, eyes once again downcast.

He leaned in and gathered her close to his chest. "Thank you," he whispered. "I just want to make sure you’re okay."

Resting her head against his shoulder she let out a long-held breath. "I’m a little scared," she admitted quietly.

"I know you are, but don’t be. Let me do the worrying for both of us. This is just a precaution. I’m sure that everything is fine. You know as well as I do that God would tell us if there was more to this than just a little virus or something, but if a doctor can help you then I wouldn’t be a very good husband if I didn’t make you see one."

"You’re always a good husband."

"And you are always the perfect wife. Now, let’s get you back up to bed."

"Do we have to? Can’t we take a little walk?"

He looked at her doubtfully.

"Pretty please? I’ll tell you if I get too tired."

The look on his face made it clear that she had won him over. "All right… but you’d better keep that promise."

"Cross my heart!"

*****

A quiet walk through the woods turned into quite a bit more by the time all was said and done, and as Andrew set about gathering their clothing he reflected that whatever was making Monica sick certainly hadn’t affected her desire. The sun was just beginning to lower past the edge of the trees and long shadows marked the end of a beautiful day. He squinted as he looked towards it and then turned around to see his wife lying back on the grass, a peaceful expression on her face as she watched the sunset. However perfect God had made it, he couldn’t drag his eyes from the even more perfect vision of Monica.

After a moment the little angel turned her attention to Andrew and she smiled up at him with only a hint of shyness in her eyes. "Something catch your eye?" she asked coyly.

"Only the most beautiful creature on earth," he replied. He chuckled when a light blush colored her fair skin and reached out his hand to give her her dress. "I’d think by now that you’d be used to me saying things like that."

She slipped the long dress over her head and gave a little shrug. "I am… but I guess it still makes me feel a little flutter inside." She smiled wider as she stood up to give him a kiss. "I hope that never goes away."

"So do I."

They took a few more minutes to get dressed, sharing kisses and soft touches the whole time, and then walked hand in hand back to the cottage. Andrew was already thinking about what he could make for dinner that would be mild enough to keep her stomach from rejecting it. He hardly noticed when she tugged on his hand and pulled him along faster as they broke out of the tree-line.

"Andrew… there are lights on inside… someone’s here!"

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up sharply. "You stay right here until I call you," he said as he released her hand and jogged across the short expanse of lawn.

Before he had even made it past the second step the back door was opening and Alex was standing there with her hands on her hips. "Well it’s about time you two decided to show up!"

Andrew chuckled at her expression as he climbed the last few steps and kissed her cheek, "Hope you’ve managed to keep yourselves occupied," He informed her with a wink, before he turned and called to his wife, "Angel! It’s okay!"

"Not as occupied as you’ve been keeping yourself, obviously," She replied, reaching up to pick a few particles of grass from his blond hair, "I do believe this qualifies as sex hair, Andrew."

"Yes, Alex and you would know," He laughed and then turned as he heard Monica’s bare feet hitting the steps.

"Alex! Andrew didn’t tell me you were coming!"

He stood back and watched with a contented smile as the two friends exchanged a hug. Though he was wishing that the Gatlin’s were here under more normal circumstances, he couldn’t deny the fact that he was deeply touched that they had come all this way just because he had been a nervous wreck on the phone with Paul this afternoon.

"Did you bring Matthew?" Monica asked hopefully.

"Sure did. He’s inside with Paul. It hasn’t been that long since you’ve seen him, but he is already growing…"

Andrew chuckled as the two continued to chat as they walked in the back door, before he gave a soft sigh and sat down on the step. This was the way things were supposed to be. Watching his beautiful wife laugh and smile, instead of knowing that deep down inside, she was as frightened as he was right now. She was hiding things well though, despite the fact that she knew Paul and Alex were aware of the situation.

A moment later and a bottle of beer was hanging in front of his face, accompanied by the all too familiar voice of his best friend.

"You look like you could use one, buddy," Paul remarked, waiting until the angel accepted it before he took a seat next to him, "My one on one time with my son was just commandeered by a couple of females ooh-ing and ahh-ing, so I thought I’d see what you were up to."

Glancing over at the agent, Andrew smiled, "Thanks for coming, Paul. You didn’t have to do that."

"Sure we did, Andrew. You and Monica are our closest friends and it was clear earlier that you were scared shitless. Where else would we be?"

Taking a drink from the dark bottle, Andrew shook his head slightly, "We had a wonderful afternoon, long walk in the woods. She felt perfectly fine, but tomorrow morning she’ll probably be losing tonight’s dinner. It just doesn’t make sense. The flu shouldn’t last this long…"

"But hasn’t her system always been a particularly fragile one?" Paul questioned and watched as Andrew nodded, "I mean, when Devin Jackson was in the picture, that poison hit Monica faster than it did Alex, so maybe a bug would last a little longer too."

"She agreed today to see a doctor, so hopefully that is what we’ll find out; that whatever she has is stubborn and in a few days she’ll be fine," They both fell silent for a moment, drinking from the bottles before he spoke once more, "This morning I was wondering if maybe God had never intended she and I to be together like this forever."

"Andrew, don’t even start thinking that way or she’ll be able to see right through you and it will scare the hell out of her. For the record, I cannot image that being the case. Even God must know how perfect you two are for each other or He never would have put you together in the first place."

"I love her more than life, Paul."

"I know that. Listen, let me whip us up something good and bland for dinner and take it easy tonight. We’ll see what the morning brings."

Andrew nodded his head in agreement and decided to change the subject, "Still loving fatherhood?"

"Definitely! I’d like about six or seven more, but Alex is not quite so easily swayed yet. Matthew is still not sleeping through the night," He chuckled, remembering when he had originally made that comment to his wife at three ‘o clock in the morning when Matthew had been attached to her breast. Though exhausted, she had still managed to come up with a few choice words for him, "I’ll broach the subject again the first time he says ‘mama’."

"That should do it, especially considering her motherly instincts." Andrew laughed, enjoying the pleasant release.

"Yes, she took this big sister thing to heart with Monica long before we had ever conceived. She’s a natural."

"Believe me, Monica doesn’t mind in the least. I think she enjoys having another woman to talk about girl things with."

*****

"So you’ve been sick every morning for a week and then it just goes away?" Alex frowned, watching as Monica cradled Matthew in her arms and nodded her head. She had finally allowed Paul to argue her out of what seemed to her to be the obvious on the drive here, but left her wondering what exactly was wrong with her angelic friend.

"And then I feel perfectly fine," Monica explained, smiling down at the sleeping baby in her arms, "Sometimes it lasts through lunchtime, but never any longer. Alex, he’s so perfect and so beautiful."

Alex smiled, unable to help but to beam at the heartfelt compliment, "Yes, he is. I could never have imagined loving him the way that I do, but…I can’t even explain it. It’s the strongest thing I’ve ever known." She walked closer to the pair and gazed at her son over Monica’s shoulder, "Do you still ever think about it? I mean, after Matthew was born, you were kind of wishing that maybe…"

Monica smiled and shook her head, "No. I know it isn’t possible and though the first time I held him, I felt this…longing come over me, I know how blessed I am. When I was asleep on the porch the other day and Andrew finally came home and woke me up…looking into his eyes, I know he’s all I need. Having him, being married to him, how could I ever want anymore?" She kissed the baby’s head tenderly, "Besides, if I ever feel that way again, I have my little Godson to spoil."

"Can I interest you in getting up with him tonight when he wakes up?" She teased, "That will zap any longing right out of you!"

The angel laughed, but then replied seriously, "I don’t mind, Alex. You leave one of your bottles in the kitchen and rest tonight. You are looking a wee bit tired."

"I may take you up on that, even though Paul has been wonderful. But back to you. You’re going to the doctor tomorrow?"

"I agreed to, but I have a feeling that tomorrow morning, it will be gone," She smiled optimistically, "I felt so good this afternoon, so I can’t imagine being so sick again by tomorrow."