CHAPTER 10

He flipped off the television and leaned back, eyes closing half way. She was awake. He hadn’t expected that. Of course he hadn’t expected to take her in the first place. The whole thing had been sloppy and unplanned, not at all like the others, but it had been so convenient. She’d been walking right by the building, and grabbing her had felt like second nature. Stupid. Very stupid. He hadn’t hit any of the others but she knew where he lived. He couldn’t let that memory stay with her. Damn. He had really expected her to be unconscious for longer. He didn’t think she’d remember, but he couldn’t take the chance. He was going to have to move on. He just had one more he had to have first. He’d been watching her for months and he wasn’t going to let all that planning go to waste.

*****

"We’ll be touching down in a few minutes," Paul called back from the cockpit. He had elected to fly them back himself and avoid the crowd at the main airport. Now he wasn’t sure if he’d made the right decision or not. A little more time before being thrown back into the thick of things wouldn’t have been a bad idea for any of them.

"Did you call Jeff and tell him to drop off our car?" Alex asked. Jeff had dropped Andrew and Paul off on Friday afternoon and driven their car back to the Bureau garage.

"Yeah, he said he was going to leave it at the terminal."

Alex nodded and then turned to where Andrew and Monica sat, his arm protectively draped over her shoulder.

"I think we should go back to the townhouse first, don’t you?" she said, hoping that if she could get them all back there then maybe she could convince Monica to postpone her visit. She didn’t want to interfere, but at the same time she knew what a fragile state the angel was in and she wasn’t in a hurry to see her lose the spark she’d had the day before

Monica tilted her head to look over at her friend and gave her a little smile. "I know what you’re trying to do, Alex, and I love you for it, but this is something I just have to do. You and Paul can drop us off and we’ll take a cab back to the townhouse."

"No… we’ll wait for you."

Andrew met the woman’s eyes over the Monica’s head and the look there said more than his next words did. "Really, Alex. We’ll be fine. I’m sure you and Paul will have things to catch up on. Maybe they’ve come up with some leads."

Alex nodded reluctantly. Clearly Andrew thought that he and Monica might need a little time alone after her visit and she didn’t want to step on his toes. "You’re probably right. We’ll take care of all that stuff and then the four of us can go out to dinner when you get back."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Could we go to that little Italian place around the corner?" Monica asked, raising her head from Andrew’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure how much she’d feel like eating but she was determined to try her hardest not to let anything else, especially this visit, pull her back into a depression.

*****

The hallway down to Krista’s room was just as long and sterile and cold looking as it had been before, but with Andrew’s hand firmly wrapped around hers she felt much stronger than the last time she had walked it. They were just passing the nurse’s station when the sound of fast moving footsteps was followed by a light hand on Monica’s shoulder. She gave a little start and turned around, not noticing how Andrew’s eyes narrowed at the man who had approached them.

"I’m sorry, Monica, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you." It was Shawn, and he was looking at them both apologetically although he avoided Andrew’s steely gaze.

"That’s all right," Monica replied warmly. "Shawn, this is my husband, Andrew."

Andrew seemed almost reluctant to hold out his hand, but he did, giving a nod of hello, and Shawn took and gave it a shake, looking only slightly uncomfortable. The waves of protectiveness coming off the angel were difficult to miss.

"Glad to meet you," he said. "Monica, I’m sorry if anything I said when you were last here upset you. I was afraid you might not come back."

"No… that wasn’t your fault. I have some… issues I’m still working though. That’s all," Monica’s voice had dropped and Andrew gave her hand another gentle squeeze.

Shawn was still looking a little unsettled as he glanced over Monica’s shoulder towards Krista’s room. "You aren’t visiting her again are you?"

She seemed a little surprised at his question, but answered, "Yes… I was going to. I heard she had woken up, and I just wanted to talk to her for a minute."

"Her parents have been standing guard over her, so I don’t know how successful you’ll be at getting in there. From what I hear, they don’t want her talking about it and I can’t say as I blame them." His formerly open expression had changed and Monica’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Well if they won’t let me in, then I won’t push them, but I don’t plan to upset her…"

Andrew could tell that in fact she was the one who was beginning to get upset and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Of course you don’t," he said firmly, staring at the man in front of them.

"No! No, I didn’t mean you would. Don’t mind me… I’m probably just more involved than I should be… I’ve just seen this one too many times. Look, I’ll let you two go. I have some things I need to get done anyway. It was good to see you again, Monica."

"Yes… maybe we’ll see you again," she said. She was being too sensitive. She needed to let go of that if she was going to do Krista any good at all.

"Maybe… It was good to meet you, Andrew."

The blond angel nodded, sharply. "Yes, good to meet you," he replied. He watched as Shawn quickly turned around and headed towards the elevators. This was the man who had driven Monica to meet them. This was the man she had trusted. He tried to push his own doubts out of his head in favor of her judgment.

As they continued on their way down the hall he bent his head and whispered, "Are you sure this is what you want to do, angel? We can turn right around and go home."

"I’m sure, Andrew. Really."

They approached the door just as Krista’s parents were coming out, and the couple looked up at them with weary eyes.

"What’s going on? I thought we told you all that we didn’t want any of you talking to her until she’s stronger," Mr. Steiding positioned himself slightly in front of his wife as he sized up the two angels.

"We’re not from the authorities," Andrew replied, seeing his own protective streak mirrored in the man’s every movement.

"I was here a couple of days ago and I sat with Krista," Monica started. "I just wanted to see her again for a minute."

"We appreciate your concern, but she’s tired… she doesn’t need any more visitors," Mrs. Steiding said, the exhaustion plain in her voice.

"I know… I know," Monica said, feeling slightly stronger, "but I think… I really think that if you let me speak to her I may be able to give her a little bit of peace."

They both looked into the angel’s dark eyes and neither one of them was later able to say what made them change their minds. Was it the sincerity in her voice? The pleading in her eyes? Or was it the aura that seemed to surround her, a purity that touched even their grieving souls. All they knew was that a minute later they were heading down to the cafeteria, and Monica was pushing open the door to their daughter’s room.

Krista was fast asleep when the little angel walked into the room and she gave a weary sigh and sank down into the chair beside the little girl’s bed. The bruises on the child’s face didn’t seem quite so prominent today and without the life support machine hooked up to her, Monica could almost imagine the girl as she had once been…before evil had touched her. It was almost a surprising thought, but she realized that was how she would always see anyone who could inflict this kind of pain on someone else.

She noticed the stuffed toy that was held fast in Krista’s grip and she smiled sadly. A teddy bear. Her face was nuzzled against the soft plush toy, a reminder of the innocence of a child. The thought struck her then how different this little girl was from her. Krista knew someone had hurt her; that someone had caused her pain, but most importantly, Krista probably believed that the pain would heal and she would be fine. She was back with her parents and with those she loved and trusted and at seven years old, memories easily faded and were lost without constant reminders. Her parents would be a constant support system for her, probably telling her that a bad man had hurt her and that she was going to be all right. They would love her enough to help her forget and when it did hurt, they would hold her and reassure her.

Tears blurred her vision and she lowered her head, gazing down at her hands, a sparkle catching her eye and she ran finger over her engagement ring and wedding band. Wasn’t that exactly what Andrew had been doing for her? Hadn’t he already showed her that the memories could fade with time? They already had to some degree or she would never be able to make love to him as freely as she normally could, would never be able to allow him to hold her most of the time. He had taken all the places Grady had hurt and inflicted pain upon and had showed her a much more gentle touch, one that spoke of love and trust and such an incredibly deep commitment to her…simply because of who she was, because he loved her.

Monica realized she had been holding onto him every bit as tightly as Krista was holding onto the bear in her arms, because it brought her comfort and reassurance and more importantly, hope. She wiped at her eyes, trying in vain to clear away the tears as she struggled to continue on her train of thought. She had been doubting him, doubting his love for her, afraid he would change his mind, or that he didn’t need her.

A tiny place in her heart opened up then and allowed her to be reminded of the truth. God made no mistakes. Yes, things happened that made Him weep for His children, but didn’t He always give them what they needed to see it through? Andrew had said that he believed that God gave strength to every woman this had happened to, so didn’t God also give every woman this had happened to the people, or in this case, angel, who could help them see it through? But she had been doubting Andrew, and in turn, doubting God’s wisdom. God had known all along the things she would need and that all those things existed in her husband and because of that, He had turned their hearts toward each other.

Monica knew that there was more to she and Andrew than what had happened to her…so much more, yet she had allowed so much of what they had together to be defined by her rape. He had even told her as much. Andrew didn’t love her because she was raped; because that made her need him. He loved her despite that fact and he always would, no matter how long it took for her to completely heal. He would be there, just as he had always been, long before she had crossed paths with William Grady, and he would continue to be there forever after that particular road came to a long awaited end.

Yes, she still had healing to do, even she knew she wasn’t there yet. But she didn’t have to face it alone and she didn’t have to be afraid to share the pain with Andrew. He was there for her gladly, by his own choice, because he loved her so much and the realization of all these things caused the little angel’s heart to swell, even as emotion threatened to choke her. Krista would be fine and one day, she would be fine as well, because they both had people to love them, to hold them and to help shoulder the burden.

A tiny sob escaped her, and her eyes moved to the door, only wanting to race down the hall and fall into her husband’s arms. But the tiny noise was enough to awaken the sleeping girl and she looked up at Monica with a tiny trace of fear, but more curiosity.

Smiling through the tears, Monica reached for the hand that was smaller than her own and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Hello Krista. My name’s Monica and I just wanted to stop by to see how you’re doing."

Krista looked uncertain for a moment, but something about the angel relaxed her and she even managed a somewhat painful smile, "I’m feeling a little bit better. Why are you crying?"

She blinked rapidly, still trying to clear her dark eyes, "Because I know you’re going to be all right," She replied, only silently adding "and so will I."

"My daddy says that too," Krista stated softly.

"Do you believe him?"

A little nod and another tiny smile, "Yes. He always tells me the truth."

Monica closed her eyes briefly, thinking of someone else who always told her the truth, even when her mind wanted to reject it, "I’m sure he does, sweetheart. Your parents will take good care of you and so will God."

"I know," The little girl replied with faith that only a child could possess.

Looking towards the door, she noticed Krista’s parents returning, their expressions plainly showing their concern, "I’ll let you rest now, Krista. Thank you for talking to me."

Before Monica could pull away, Krista held tightly to her hand and the angel looked back to her, nearly startled by the look of understanding in the little girl’s eyes, "You’re going to be okay too, Monica."

Monica managed a shaky nod, not really certain of how much the child understood. What she did know was that though she had come in here to try to give Krista peace, things had turned out exactly the opposite. Turning to leave, she smiled at the Steidings as she whispered, "Thank you," then she was out the door, her eyes frantically scanning the hallway for Andrew.

Apparently sensing her, Monica watched as he stepped out of a small waiting room, his green eyes laden with worry and the unconditional love she had grown to depend on and before she could even think of what she was doing, she was walking as quickly as she could towards him, nearly breaking into a run as she got closer. He caught her up in his strong arms and held her tightly, his heart racing as he tried to prepare himself for whatever had happened in Krista’s room. But before he could ask any questions, she was already speaking, her words coming quickly and nearly breathlessly.

"I love you…I love you so much! You were right. You’ve been right about all of it. I never should have doubted you, never. You love me, you’re not going to give up on me or walk away. I know that now, I do!" Her words caught on a sob, but when she looked up at him, she was smiling through them, "I’m not there yet, I know that, but I know one day I’ll be better…because I have you…because God is with me…because He made me stronger then I often realize…but mostly because He gave me what He knew I’d need most…you, Andrew…you."

Monica’s startling but joy-filled words were enough to take Andrew’s breath away and he held her closer and kissed her dark hair before whispering, almost tearfully, "Of course you do, baby. Always."

"I’m so sorry it took this to make me realize the truth," she murmured as she felt the strong beat of his heart against her ear.

"Don’t be sorry. Sometimes insight can come from strange places."

"A little child shall lead them, and all that, right?" she said with a smile.

"Absolutely right."