CHAPTERS 18 & 19

CHAPTER 18

For long minutes, Andrew watched Monica sound asleep in his arms. She had just been released from hospital and he hoped that now her condition would improve, as she was surrounded by those who she most loved, and in her favourite place on Earth. He gently   disentangled from her loving embrace and straightened the cover around her small form. The blond angel could not resist to brushing a tender kiss on her cheek before going down the stairs to find out that Tess had already tidied the dining room up and was finishing to keep the dishes.

"Sorry, I waited until she fell asleep..." he spoke, tucking his hands into his pockets, not really at ease with her presence, as things were still not right between them.

"Oh, you don't need to apologise, baby. We have to keep an eye on that little angel girl up there, and make her feel as comfortable as possible."

A long minute passed as Andrew spoke again. "She's... feeling ashamed. She thinks she's being a burden to us."

The supervisor had finished her task at that very moment and as she heard his words, she eyed him frowning with great concern. "A burden? But that's nonsense! Monica would never be a burden to any of us, where did she get this idea?"

"I know and I told her that, Tess. But I also think we're being overprotective here. We should let her do something, let her feel useful."

With a pensive expression on her face, the older angel took a seat and nodded. "I see what you mean. I guess I'm not ready to deal with what's going on at the moment... I'm still trying to adjust... and trying to be careful not to cause her any more pain than I already did."

The angel of death let out a sigh. He knew that Tess was suffering too, and she had to deal with a feeling that at least he was free of: guilt. Andrew took a seat next to her and with a slow movement he covered her hand with his. "You can be sure that your presence here gave her much joy. And so did your approval of our love."

She was going to say something but a third voice interrupted them.

"So this is how you deal with this situation now, Tess. I'm surprised."

Sam was staring at them with a solemn and rather cold look. "And rather disappointed."

The supervisor rose to her feet and stared back at her colleague. "This 'situation' has taken another turn, Sam. And I'm thankful that it made me realise I was wrong in many aspects."

"And I'm positively sure you say so because you're influenced by your personal feelings. Your friendship with Monica and Andrew does not allow you to see things clearly. How absurd it is..."

"Do not tell me how I feel. I've existed long enough to realise this by myself!" The tone on her voice was a stern one, and so was her gaze at him.

"I'd say you are unable to see things clearly."

Now it was Andrew who stood on his feet, shooting Sam a defiant look. "Sam, if you came in here to judge us all, know that you're not welcome."

"I'm sorry to say so, Andrew, but I believe you are the one who is in the wrong here. What do you intend to do? Marry Monica? Share a human being's life with her? Have children?"

His words were cruel and only served to rise the angel of death's anger. He gave two steps towards Sam, staring deep inside his eyes. "With which authority do you come in here and say such things?"

"I'm your superior, I have the authority to do so!"

"Then perhaps you should consult your superior!" Andrew realised he had raised his voice, and decided to put an end on that discussion as he feared Monica could wake up and hear what they were saying. He walked up to the kitchen door but before he crossed it, he looked at Sam one more time. "Before accusing, judging and being intolerant towards your next you should ask yourself if you know all the facts... if you know what you're saying and especially whose feelings you're hurting. Because in the end, Sam, everything you do onto your next, you do onto God."

He left the kitchen and the two older angels remained alone.

"This is wrong, Tess. Can't he see that? Can't you two see that two angels falling in love... experiencing human love... is impossible?" he said, shaking his head and not willing to even consider that possibility.

Tess watched him in silence for a few instants. Then, she gave a few steps towards the kitchen door and looked at him again. "Monica is severely ill. Her human form might be dying." She spoke, and showed no reaction as a shocked expression appeared on his face. "Since you've been busy hunting everybody's sins, I thought you'd like to know."

Then, like Andrew, she turned around and disappeared through the door, leaving an overwhelmed Sam behind.

X

Green eyes scanned the horizon and all of God's creations from the porch, as the afternoon fell gently. For Andrew, time had two dimensions, which recently had become quite clear to him. When Monica was around, filling his ears with eternal chattering and lovely accent, minutes or hours didn't seem to exist at all. But during her absence, every second seemed a painful eternity and only made him yearn for the Irish angel's touch, or for her laughter.

And this time, his unspoken wish to have her by his side was granted as a soothing voice broke the silence of the woods and a gentle hand came to rest over his shoulder. "Hullo..."

She was smiling at him - despite her paleness and the visible weight loss, it still was the most beautiful image that he had ever seen. Andrew covered her hand with his and then pulled her to sit on the porch bench next to him. Once she did so, he wrapped his arm around her small shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. I..." Her pause made him duck his head and search for her face: she blushed a little and bit her lower lip before keeping on speaking. "... I dreamt of you, actually."

"Oh! I hope it's been a good dream!" he returned her smile as she inched closer and kissed his cheek.

"We were Home... walking in the fields of God hand in hand and chatting. There were no worries... Then Tess, Adam, Rafael, Sam and some other friends passed by us and greeted us..."

Andrew stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "It's a lovely dream, angel."

She looked deep inside his green eyes and was going to say something, but words died in her lips as she elected to just rest her head against his shoulder and enjoy the view. "Sunsets are always golden from here."

"Yes, it was a beautiful day."

"But I prefer the dawning..."

"And why?" he wanted to know, gently caressing her long auburn strands, cherishing that sweet peaceful moment.

"Because it is white, and white the reunion of all colours. All of them renewed for a new beginning."

Chapter 19

During the weeks that followed, Monica, Andrew and Tess had to get used to a painful and exhausting routine of going through chemotherapy sessions. Her "house" - which ended up being the cabin up in the mountains, was over an hour away from hospital, but they knew that there she would feel comfortable as the place brought her many joyful memories.

She had to go to the city hospital at least twice a week, though, being attentively assisted by Dr Burke. And the treatment for the illness that consumed Monica's human form had also psychological effects, which were as devastating as the physical ones. The little Irish angel would start feeling terrible even before a new chemotherapy session, afraid and depressed because of the way she felt once it was over.

"Thank you, Carol." She said, once the nurse had placed the needles through her veins for one more session. Andrew had taken a seat by her side, but he averted his eyes not to see the dark marks that had already settled on her porcelain skin. In the other corner of the room, was the rude man that Monica had reprimanded the other day, for his harsh attitude towards the nurse.

She left the room afterwards, leaving a thick silence behind. It was Monica who broke it by squeezing her friend's hand. "Andrew, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, angel."

"I think I might get hungry later on... and I saw they sell cupcakes in the cafeteria... I was wondering if perhaps you could get me some so that I could eat while we go back to the cabin..."

He was a bit surprised by that request, as she was usually not hungry after those sessions. "Are you sure?"

"Yes... I think that they will be sold out by the time I finish here, so if you could get them now..."

"Of course, Monica... But... will you be alright?"

"Yes, I will."

As he kissed her forehead and left the room, the slight smile on her face faded away, and she closed her eyes, secretly scolding herself for sending Andrew away.

"You're a bad liar." Came the male voice from the other corner of the room. She opened her eyes again and stared at the man, who was receiving the same treatment she was.

"I do not lie."

"You lied to him just now."

"I didn't. Not to Andrew or to anyone. He already knows how painful it is for me to watch him suffering by my side."

"Ah, I see. You sent him away so he doesn't suffer. An altruist."

"Oh, no. I wish I could be one. I wish I could find some meaning to what's happening to me and that this meaning could benefit others somehow... maybe have the power to turn something terrible into a wonderful surprise."

"Well, you got a point there. But as far as I'm concerned, nobody in this position seems to find this meaning you're wishing for. So all that's left us is curse God for allowing this to happen and hope that it'll be all over as soon as possible."

There was a hint of shock in her eyes as she heard that. "I would never curse God."

"Aren't you the one who is sitting in there, fighting a terrible disease that is consuming your body and killing all you've dreamt for your life while He does absolutely nothing about it? Why not curse Him?"

"Because God is the one who has the power I've just mentioned."

"Oh, I got it. You're religious."

"I'm not religious."

"Oh..." The nurse interrupted their conversation. She came back to remove the needle from his arm, as his session was over. He pulled the sleeve of his shirt down and slowly stood up. "Pity. I was gonna ask you to pray for me!" His irony was evident and he motioned to cross the door when he listened to her an answer.

"You've been in my prayers."

Hearing those words, the man turned to look at her, and when his eyes met with hers, the brown spark that reached his view nearly took his breath away. It was as if he had seen an angel's soul through them - as if he was facing something that was beyond any logical explanation. There was honesty and truth in the way she was staring at him, and the power of her gaze was able to convey so much peace that it astonished him. All of a sudden, the man found himself taken by overwhelming compassion. He didn't know where it was coming from, or why he was feeling like that. The only thing he was aware of now was the unexpected yearning to find out a meaning.

"Dr Miller looks like he's seen a ghost!" the nurse spoke, as he disappeared through the door in silence.

Monica tilted her head in surprise. "Doctor?"

"Yes. Dr Miller is... was one of our best oncologists."

Surprise clouded over her meek features and her mouth dropped open. "This man is... a doctor? He is so..."

"Difficult?"

"I'd say so..."

"He didn't use to be like that a few years ago, when he first got here. Dr Miller was brilliant. A professor and a great scientist, he was conducting many researches along with his students and other doctors, and many of them did benefit patients here in this hospital and in many others." Carol took a seat next to Monica.

"But how did he become so..."

"He lost his wife in a car accident two years ago. She was his greatest supporter, the love of his life. This made him drop many of his projects and little by little, Dr Miller became the bitter man you've had the opportunity to meet. Six months ago, when he was diagnosed with cancer, he finally decided to abandon all his projects."

"But he's doing the treatment..."

"Yes, because of his brother's insistence, I've heard. But if you ask me, I don't believe this man wants the treatment to work. I think all he wants is to leave this world and put an end to the suffering of not having his wife any longer."

"Poor man..." the little angel mentioned, lost in thoughts as Carol left the room. Only when Andrew came through the door did she focus again.

"I got your cupcakes, angel. They're in the car."

She looked at him as he sat down next to her and smiled. "Thank you."

"Anything else my angel needs?" He asked, smiling back at her and stroking her hair.

Monica reached for his hand and took it to her lips. "I love you very much."

Glad to hear those sudden treasured words, he placed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "If I tell you that I love you just the same will I get the honour of kissing you?"

He couldn't resist to her pretty smile back at him and inched closer. His lips touched hers gently, applying just a slight pressure against hers, and when he moved his hand to cup her face, the door was open again.

"Oh, I see. Look at what the lack of magazines can do!" They pulled away immediately to see Tess gazing at them with eyebrows raised and a mock serious expression on her face.

A blush crept over Monica's cheeks and she lowered her head in adorable embarrassment, much to Andrew's amusement too. "Tess..."

"Yeah, I know. Things can be monotonous around here..." she said, as a slight smile reappeared on the Irish angel's face. Her dear friend's sense of humour was unique.