CHAPTERS 20 & 21

Chapter 20

"Dealing with our suffering is easy. What's really tough is dealing with the suffering of those who we love."

Monica looked at the door of the room designed for chemotherapy session in surprise. For the last 30 minutes, she had been there only with Andrew, for one more dosage of the treatment that could save her human form. For a month, she and that rude man had exchanged a few words, and even though his irony towards life was pretty obvious to her, in the last two times they had met she noticed that something was different with him.

"And I'm glad that 'God' has spared me from this! At least from this." He added, closing the door behind him.

Monica looked at the man with a confused expression on her face. "I beg your pardon?"

With a slightly worried frown, Dr Miller could notice how fragile the young lady was becoming every time he saw her.

"I passed by your boyfriend down in the corridor... Feeling up for some more cupcakes while you enjoy the side effects?" he took a seat next to her and his defiant look contrasted with the inner worry he tried to hide.

She let out a slight sigh. "Andrew went to see Dr Burke."

"And you were grateful for that."

"I... I believe what you said about suffering is correct, Dr Miller." The Irish angel spoke, resignedly. "How is your treatment going? You seem well..."

In fact, the man's aspect was far different from hers, and if on one hand it worried her, on the other it made her feel somewhat hopeful.

"Ironically fine, thank you... Monica." He inched closer to check on her file, which was over the small table next to her chair. She watched him intrigued. What was he looking for in those papers. "Hum... I believe you suffer from serious sickness when you take one of the three medicines for the chemotherapy..."

"Y-yes... why do you ask?" she seemed slightly surprised with his sudden interest.

"There's an excellent drug to stop the chemotherapy effects. There are others too but I believe Dr Burke hasn't prescribed this one." He pulled out a pen and a sheet of paper and wrote down a prescription. "Tell boyfriend to drop by a drugstore and get it."

She took the paper and tilted her head. "I was told you were conducting a research..."

"Yes."

"Why did you stop?"

"I didn't think it would lead me anywhere." He spoke, flipping through the pages of her files.

"You might be right. You might reach the end of your search and find nothing. But you cannot run the risk to miss an important discovery just because you gave up in the middle of the way."

He chuckled, attentively reading her reports. "Let's say I don't have the motivation."

Shocked once again, she stared at him. "Your own disease should be reason enough!"

Dr Miller finally placed the files over the small table and looked back at her. "Let's say I'm selfless!"

Any angel would have been angry at those words, but Monica tried not to judge the man. In a way, she understood him. "The absence of those we love makes us weak and lost. But your wife would be proud to know you didn't give up."

The man rose to his feet and sighed. "But she's not here anymore, and there's no one for me to please."

"You loved her very much..."

Stephen Miller was a very practical person but the way Monica looked at him was disturbing, and could never be ignored. She seemed to have the ability to read his soul.

"Have a nice day, Monica... if this is ever possible. And don't forget the medicine."

X

Two weeks later, in the hospital laboratory...

"It's working, Dr Miller! The blood cells are multiplying twice as fast in order to replace the ill ones." There was a smile on the young doctor's face as he announced that. He belonged to Dr Miller' research group and had been called to give sequence to the work that had been done so far. He and the other members were surprised when, late at night, they received a phone call from Dr Miller' assistant telling them to be at the research center on the following morning.

"Good." Dr Miller said, his face always serious and lacking enthusiasm. "No side effects. No risk for the patient. If we carry on we can improve its efficiency."

"Yes. Do that. There are some patients who cannot afford waiting so I'll put it into test with some of them right now." He ordered, picking up the papers spread over his desk.

X

"Dr Miller believes this new drug can be more efficient than the one you've been taking so far and its side effects will go practically unnoticed."

Monica listened to her doctor's explanation in silence. Andrew and Tess were sitting next to her inside Dr Burke's office and, like the Irish angel, didn't know what to think about the new attempt to fight Monica's cancer.

"You said this new drug is still experimental..." The angel of death finally spoke.

"Yes. Dr Miller has been working on the project for years, though. He tested it with himself and the first results were satisfactory so he wants to try it with some patients."

"But there's no guarantee Monica will get better?" Tess wanted to know.

"No, there isn't. But I studied Dr Miller' report and I see no objection in trying it. Monica has been doing the conventional treatment for three months now and she wouldn't have to stop it."

There was a moment of silence in the room until Monica finally broke it.

"Dr Miller is highly respected. He's a great oncologist and I know how hard he's been working on this project..." She looked at her two dearest friends and then at Dr Burke. "I will try it."

x

A month later...

Monica finished to have a shower and left the bathroom inside a fluffy warm bathrobe and with a towel wrapped around her hair. She tried hard to ignore the fact that her auburn strands were scarce due to the treatment and was considering the possibility of making them shorter soon. Secretly, it hurt. And not because of her human appearance but due to what the hair loss represented. The robe she was wearing was also larger than it was before and her paleness more accentuated as the days went by.

That particular afternoon, however, the angel in human form was feeling alright. It seemed that the new medicine created by Dr Miller, along with the drug he had prescribed for the sickness that consumed her body, were taking their effects as she hadn't been feeling nauseous or extremely weak or depressed for the last couple of days.

When Monica opened up her bedroom door, surprise was evident all over her face as she saw a beautiful dress over her bed. She covered her mouth as she gave a few steps and finally examined the unexpected gift. There was also a card with it.

"My dear angel,

I'm sure this dress will be a lot more beautiful when you wear it. Will you give me the honour to have dinner with me? Please, be ready at 7 PM, at the dining room of the angels' cabin.

Love,

Andrew."

The dress and the content of the note put a crying smile upon her face.

CHAPTER 21

Monica's fear that the dress would look a bit loosen due to her weight loss went away at the moment she looked at herself in the mirror. It was lilac silk and went up to her knees. On its upper part, a v-necked collar and short sleeves covered her small shoulders and her clavicle, hiding her bones and leaving only her porcelain skin visible. The beige sandals that went with it had two inches heels.

The Irish angel looked at herself once again and left her bedroom; there was a slight smile on her face and it wasn't vanity. It was pure joy to share some moments with the angel of death without having to remember the burden she had been carrying with her over the last three months.

As she reached at the bottom of the stairs, the living room was still empty and she looked around her, searching for any of her dearest friends, still unsure of what the next step would be.

"I was just waiting for you..." Monica turned around to see a smiling Andrew wearing an elegant tuxedo. "I spent the day trying to picture you wearing it, but everything I imagined doesn't do justice to what I can see now..." he spoke, offering his hand to her. And when she gladly accepted it, he kissed its back.

Smiling broadly, she tilted her head and shot him a loving gaze. "I didn't know you had such good taste for clothes, Andrew..."

He marvelled at her image. To him, the Irish angel was a beautiful picture that would be forever etched in his mind.

"I'd say my assignment was an easy one, as every dress at the store would look just perfect in you... Now come on, follow me, baby."

Intrigued and slightly amused, Monica followed her dear angel of death to the dining room. And there, she saw a beautifully decorated dining table waiting for them.

Monica turned grateful eyes at him. "You are always doing wonderful things to me."

The two angels exchanged a loving glance and Andrew couldn't resist to taking one step towards her. "You're gorgeous." He said, placing a gentle hand against her cheek.

"Thank you..." she spoke, for the compliment and for what it represented at a moment like that. Still with a meek broad smile, she lowered her eyes for a second, and then raised them again to meet his dark green pools. "You're dazzling yourself, you know, Andrew..."

Without saying a word, he dared to cross the small distance between them and brushed his lips against hers even so softly and with so much love, that they forgot there was a romantic candlelight dinner waiting for them. Monica's hands travelled from his strong chest up to his shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his neck at the same time he held her close to him.

He still kissed her face and her soft lips once again, before they rested their foreheads together. "Thank you for this..."

"Shh... You've already thanked me too many times, Monica." He said, and placed one more kiss against her lips. "Now let's get our seats before the food gets cold."

He pulled a chair for her and kissed the top of her head before moving to his own chair, right across from her. "Where is Tess?" she wanted to know, amazed at how he managed to prepare everything while she got ready.

"She had an assignment, angel. And although it was an emergency she only attended it because she knew I'd be here."

"I know... Poor her... I cannot ignore the pain that I see in her eyes whenever I'm in that hospital..."

"Angel... please, no... not tonight. I want you to enjoy your time..." he kindly interrupted her, covering her hand with his.

"Yes... I'm sorry. You're right."

"It's our date, angel. I believe we never had one after... well, after we confessed our feelings."

A shy smile came back to her lips and she nodded. "No... But I am enjoying it very much, you know, Andrew?"

He kissed the back of her hand. "I'm glad you are, sweetie."

Dinnertime was calm and a very pleasant one for the two angels in human form. They chatted for long hours about past assignments and how much they enjoyed being in the cabin. The scenery that surrounded them, all God's wonderful creations, were so close that it seemed they were back Home - a home that Monica yearned to visit again soon, and the impossibility of doing so caused her heart to ache.

When they were over Andrew excused himself by telling her he would bring the desert, and as she waited, Monica didn't resist to rise to her feet and walk over up to the window. It was such a beautiful and starry night that she was certain that God himself was looking down at Earth and watching over all His children.

When he returned, Andrew placed the mocha mousse he had so carefully prepared her on the table and, smiling a little, he joined her by the window.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He spoke, standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, "Especially up here in the mountains."

"Oh, yes. It seems a special gift."

Smiling, Monica turned around and tilted her head, eyeing him with so much tenderness that he felt undeserving. Her sweet smile held generosity, compassion, and love, and even if they had met at that very first moment, he still would have fallen in love with her.

The blond angel kissed her delicate hands and held them in both of his. "You're so beautiful, my angel. The most beautiful angel I've ever seen in my whole existence..." He stroked her face with the back of his hand. "Beautiful soul... Beautiful human form..."

The way her smile grew wider made his heart ache, and Andrew was suddenly proud to be responsible for a tiny bit of joy in her hurting heart.

"I take it you definitely enjoy making me blush..." She replied, leaning on his touch, cherishing the delicate way he always treated her. Amused, he smiled back at her, visibly admiring her adorable sweet manners.

Their faces were moving closer - now it was so normal and at the same time so wonderful. Then their lips met in a soulful kiss, their human silhouette bathed by the moonlight and framed by the sparkling stars. The silence was comfortable, only broken by the familiar sound of a cricket, something that always amused Monica whenever she went to bed.

Their kiss lasted a small but precious eternity and when it was over, Andrew still kissed her forehead as she searched for the comfort of his arms. The blond angel held her tightly against him.

"You told me not to thank you but I'm afraid I'll have to disagree..." she whispered, listening to the beat of his heart as she held him. "I want to thank you for loving me the way you do..."

Deeply moved, he gently grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her forehead and then her lips one more time. "I love you." The angel of death spoke, his eyes sparkling with all honesty he could muster.

She returned to his loving embrace and the two angels fell in a pleasant silence until Monica spoke again, her voice soft and filled with peace. "I was wondering if there can be a special astronomy class tonight."

He kissed the top of her head and pulled away just enough to look at her face. "There's always time for such a special student!"

She returned his smile and, becoming bolder, stood on the tip of her toes to brush a kiss against his lip. "Thank you!"

"You're very welcome, my sweet angel!" he stroked her cheek, visibly pleased with her tiny caress. "Where would you like to have your class?"

"Can it be in the porch? It's such a beautiful night!"

"Sure!" he pulled away gently and took her hand, kissing its back before motioning her out of the dining room and towards the entrance door.

In the middle of the way, however, Monica stopped. Her smile faded away quickly and so did the slight colour on her cheeks. At a first moment, Andrew tilted his head to look at her, not noticing the sudden change on the expression on her face.

But when he heard her voice, a wave of panic crept over him. "Andrew..."

"Angel? Monica? What is it?" he spoke, quickly standing before her.

Monica raised her head to look at him despite the fact that everything around her was spinning. "Something is wrong..."

"Monica? What? Angel, what is it?" His despair only increased when she placed the palm of her hand against his chest for support and grabbed his shirt. "I feel dizzy... I'm..."

She didn't finish the sentence: the angel in human form felt her legs give in and lost her conscience seconds later.

Andrew was there to hold her in his arms and stop her fall. And despite his desperate calling her name, she didn't recover consciousness.