CHAPTERS 14 & 15

Chapter 14

A few days had passed and the long wait for salvation was making the two angels in human form weaker and more tired. And as if that wasn't enough, now they had to cope with feelings that they were not prepared to face. Feelings of deep love and great worry that were tearing up their hearts and putting their own essence to check.

This secret inner battle caused Monica and Andrew to be more and more silent, afraid to say too much, or to do something that would reveal what they really felt.

When Monica woke up that morning, the sun was already shining high up in the sky. But this time it wasn't a surprise for her: she had slept badly and just for a few hours during the night, as confused thoughts kept on playing on her mind and haunting her very soul. Unanswered questions that she feared to voice to the very one who was always there to listen to her.

And, strangely, she was also afraid to talk to God. Afraid of what she could hear in reply. Fearing to hear that all those feelings she had just found out hidden in the bottom of her heart were wrong.

Slowly, as now her weakness was more evident than never, she rose to her feet and walked out of the cave. Andrew was not around and she knew that he was probably fishing at that time. It was better this way. He had always been a wonderful friend and eternal protector to her, she could easily see his worry and also his devotion in those dark green pools. It was not fair to shut him out.

The blond angel had left breakfast ready for her but she didn't feel very hungry. Monica ate very little, and decided to keep the rest for later. She had noticed that although Andrew's human form was much stronger than hers, he too was losing weight quickly and soon would be feeling the effects of their restrained diet.

Sighing deeply, the Irish angel decided to walk up to the pond in the forest. With slow steps, she walked through the bushes and trees, lost in a turmoil of different thoughts and feelings that strangely had two opposite effects: anguish and sheer joy.

Monica stood by the pond, sitting on a fallen tree trunk and watching its still crystalline waters in the most complete silence. A cool breeze ruffled some strands of her auburn hair as she raised her head up and observed how the tree canopies moved slowly. From where she was it was still possible to hear the noise of the waves crashing and to feel the crisp smell of the ocean. But despite the beautiful scenery, her heart felt heavy in her chest.

Her mind wandered as she thought back to how she’d met Andrew at that wedding ceremony, all those years ago. And then a tear fell from her eye when she remembered it wasn't the first time they'd been together. In the very first time their paths crossed, he had saved her. And since then he kept on being her protector, watching over her as the years passed; a bond of deep and sincere friendship that could never be broken, she thought.

But then, why was she feeling that something had changed? Where were those new feelings coming from? Or had they always been there and the confines of the island brought them out? The Irish angel sighed and moved her slender fingers through her hair, pulling it away from her face.

Then a twig cracked and she immediately got up and scanned the area. Up ahead, she saw the familiar silhouette of someone standing close to the water’s edge.

"Angel?"

Andrew's voice was enough to accelerate her heartbeats, and the conflict between two different sensations started all over again: joy and confusion flooding her angelic heart.

"Hi... I woke up but you had already left..." she said, as he stepped towards her; a questioning expression on his face.

"Yes, I was fishing our meal..." he searched deep inside her sweet brown eyes for the answers to his unspoken question. She had been lost in thoughts and far too quiet since the previous morning, and even if they hadn't known each other for such a long time, it would still be possible to see that something was certainly bothering her.

They were so close and he was so aware of the admiration she felt for him. He admired her too but recently the blond angel had found out that his feelings for her were even deeper than he had never imagined. He loved her. He loved that sweet gentle angel of God with all the powers within him. But along with the promise to make her days at the island happy ones, Andrew had also decided keep his feelings buried deep inside his heart. And there were good reasons for that: even though there was something different in the air, he was not sure of what she really felt for him. She was so quiet and shy, and right now, he did not know how to deal with her feelings. Besides this, the blond angel wondered the implications of those same feelings.

With his usual tenderness, he lay a gentle hand over her shoulder. "Angel... is there something wrong?"

He could notice as she nervously fidget with her fingers and avoided his gaze by staring at the ground. "I just came here to think..." came the simple answer, which was an honest one. "I figured I could do some laundry too but found out you've been spoiling me since the clothes have already been washed in secret..." She forced a small smile.

Sighing deeply, and aware that she would find out his plan anytime soon, he reached out and his fingertips touched her cheek in a soft caress, but which caused a rush of electricity to run through her fragile body. "Yes, I confess I have... You should rest as much as you can now, Monica. I want to spare us both from some chores, especially you, as I can see you've been quite tired lately."

Her heartbeats accelerated as she looked up again and stared at him. She observed his masculine features. Now covered by a slight blond beard, his cheekbones pushed and pulled into smooth but strong shapes. The spots of sunrays that managed to break through the vegetation were shining on his hair and gave it a soft gentle light that accentuated his emerald eyes. Monica suddenly felt a surge of emotions flooding her heart once again, and this time there was no room for doubt.

Her heart and soul ached for him. She didn't need to wonder why she loved him. She just did.

Andrew returned her gaze, noticing how her long auburn hair sheltered the curve of her ears. The meekness of her Gaelic features and the sparkling dark eyes would always fill his heart with tenderness and much love. Hiding his true feelings was so difficult now.

Two long tears fell from those pretty doe-like eyes, and his heart ached to see them; to feel the great sadness and anguish that was flowing from her soul.

Frowning deeply, he gently cupped her cheek with both hands. "Angel? What is it?"

Chapter 15

Monica continued to look at Andrew, confused by the multitude of different thoughts and feelings that were running inside her very soul. Like a scared child, she was trembling and her heart in accelerated beating.

"Andrew... What's happening to me?" she asked, unsuccessfully trying to stifle a sob.

"Talk to me, baby... what's troubling you? Why are you crying like this? Have I done something wrong? Have I-"

She shook her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks, face reddened both from shame and crying, "No, you didn't do anything wrong, Andrew... I did! I guess I did a terrible thing..."

"That is not possible, angel... Please, tell me what's going on..." he pleaded, trying to get through to her and chase away so much sorrow.

"I-I don't know how it started... I'm just so ashamed..." she confessed, searching deep inside his green pools, as if accepting defeat. "I feel different..."

As he continued to look at her rather confused about what was going on, she took in a deep breath and gathered all her courage. Monica needed to voice her thoughts to him, Andrew was always the one she would run to whenever her heart was troubled and confused.

"...I feel as if I-I love you, Andrew... As if... if I was in love with you..."

His breath caught in his throat and for a moment, the blond angel doubted what he had just heard. He knew something was different - she had been strangely quiet lately, but during all that time, he kept on torturing himself thinking that somehow he had hurt her feelings. Yet, that beautiful little angel had been fighting back the same loving emotions that were in his heart. She loved him. Andrew felt the greatest joy of his entire existence, and his heart was so full that he thought it would burst with so much happiness.

But the amazed and somewhat shocked expression on his face had an immediate effect on her.

"Please... please, forgive me, Andrew! I- I didn't mean to..." she pleaded, her crying voice filled with guilt as she stared at the ground once again, ashamed to face him. "...I'm terribly sorry!"

"N-no, baby..." gently, and with trembling hands, he cupped her chin and sought for her doe-like eyes, so filled with sadness that it caused his heart to ache. "Angel... look at me... please..."

"I can't... I'm so ashamed... so..."

"I love you!" he spoke, wanting nothing but to put an end to her suffering, "I love you so much, angel!"

"But not the way I feel! What I feel is different, I..." she replied, not fully understanding the extension of his words.

Andrew caressed her cheek and spoke again; their faces just a few inches away from each other. "I love you in all the possible ways a living creature can love another... I love you with my heart and my soul, and it's been a while since I found out that there's no such thing as human love and angelic love... There is love, and that's what I feel for you, angel!"

The Irish angel stared at him in shock - she had expected nothing but his rejection; she had expected him to think that she was losing her senses by being on that island for such a long time. But his words had caught her off-guard now, and for a split second, all she wanted was to hold on to the sheer joy that flooded her heart with his loving words.

"Andrew? But..." her eyes fell to his chest as her mind searched for an answer, and when she found none, they reached his eyes again, so deep, so green and full of love. "But how?"

The warm smile that played on his lips was a confirmation of what he had said before. "I don't know... somehow, some way I came to realise that my love for you, angel, is much deeper than I ever thought it was..."

Watching as her expression softened and her anguish diminished, he ran his fingers through her soft dark hair, a gesture that would always bring them both great peace. "Maybe the time we've been isolated here helped to show me the truth that had been here for years..."

"Years?" tears sprang into her eyes, and her haunted look seemed just like a little girl's.

"Yes... I guess I've been loving you forever, angel."

Once again, they were locked in each other's eyes, and much to Andrew's joy, he could see a spark of happiness glowing in those sweet brown pools. He could see his face mirrored in her eyes, and knew that their hearts were beating in the same rhythm.

Andrew stepped forward and slowly, one of his arms enfolded her, fingertips pressed even so lightly on her back, leaving her still and loose in his supportive grip. It had been only a few hours since they last held each other, in the simplicity of their sleep. Yet, it seemed far longer than that.

But now more than never, time had no meaning and clocks had stopped, for the only pace they were aware of was their accelerated heartbeats. Gently, he pulled her even closer. Monica felt his breath nearer, his fingers moving her hair like a gentle breeze.

He could see her soul through her eyes and moved his head closer. Slowly, she closed her eyes, and felt, even so lightly, as his lips touched hers, in a careful delicate way. Their lips not moving, but barely touching. She felt a rush of electricity in the kiss, thinking how it was possible that so powerful the feeling was, with so light a touch.

As she tilted her head and surrendered to that caress he thought that this was Heaven expressed, romantic and soft. She smelled like fresh jasmines and his heart was bursting with joy. With eyes closed and lips now pressed more firmly against each other, the kiss was sweet, souls touching, ever lasting.

The guilt and fear that had been lingering in their hearts seemed to vanish at that very moment, being quickly replaced by the happiness that they had been denying themselves.

At least for a few moments.

Monica still had her eyes closed when he pulled away, so slowly that she felt his breath in her mouth. When he pulled his lips away to look at her, the dark of night reflecting in her glowing eyes, he saw the light, the love, and the confusion in their soft brown depths.

Committing to memory every little of her meek face, he relaxed his hold on her head and slipped his hands back to her shoulders. Aware that that magical moment would be etched in their hearts forever, the little Irish angel felt the touch again and again, throughout. Then her dearest friend spoke.

"Angel... I... I just love you so much..."

His whispered voice and the impact of those loving words brought fresh tears to her eyes, and she felt anguish filling her very soul once again.

Worry and brief terror flashed across his face, as if he'd realised he might have done something terribly wrong. "Angel? Please, talk to me..." he gently caressed her crying face.

"We're angels, Andrew..." she finally whispered back, her voice heavy with guilt.

"Yes. And I guess this is one more reason to believe that these feelings are as true and as pure as our own nature..."

Shaking her head, Monica stepped away from him, escaping from his tender touch, and Andrew felt like a precious treasure had been ripped away from him.

"No! What... What just happened here... was not supposed to happen!"

"What happened here, angel, was the happiest moment of my existence! The sweetest and most precious moment I've have ever experienced."

"But this is wrong... we're angels, Andrew!" she replied, and she tried to fight against the joy to hearing those words, her crying voice was heartbreaking, "Angels... they do not feel like this... they do not experience this... this kind of love..."

He stepped closer and took her hand in both of his, "Baby, I want you to search deep inside your heart. What does it say?"

She cried even more because she already knew the answer to that question. It was for Andrew that her heart beat.

"My heart can be mistaken... it can be confused due to the time we've been here..." she avoided his powerful gaze, where she could see all his love. "What if we go out of this island someday and then realise we were both wrong?"

"The time we've been here made me realise how I really feel about you... I guess there hasn't a time I didn't love you... And there will never be."

He reached out and stroked her cheek once again, but she backed away from him, shaking her head and covering her mouth, tears permanently falling from her eyes. "I'm sorry, Andrew... I'm so sorry..."

She rushed away from him, from that spot in the forest, searching for a shelter to her anguish and fears, fighting against the turmoil of feelings inside her troubled heart.

"Monica!" Andrew called, but gave up going after her a moment later. His presence would only make things worse and, as much as he hated it, she needed to be alone for a while. She was right about one thing: they were both angels, and dealing with those unexpected feelings, and especially, with their consequences, wouldn't be easy, and she needed some time to sort out things on her mind.

As for the blond angel, he had no doubt: he loved her deeply, and was ready to face anything for her.