CHAPTER 4

It had been a week and a day since Monica first discovered she was pregnant, and in the morning the Gatlins would be heading back to the city. They had promised to get the ball rolling on the house and job front while the two newly human angels took a little while longer to adjust to their new reality.

The two couples stayed up later than they meant to, talking and playing games and when they finally realized what time it was and headed for bed, Monica was yawning and struggling to keep her eyes open. Andrew knew that asking her any kind of hard question when she was already so tired was inherently unfair, but he also knew how good his wife was at avoiding them when she was more alert.

"How are you feeling?" he decided to start off with the easy ones.

"Sleepy, but good," she answered with a smile. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning to grab her nightgown from the hook on the closet door.

"We shouldn’t have stayed up so late. After all, you’re sleeping for two now," he was joking, but there was a touch of seriousness in his eyes.

"It was fun, and I’m fine," her words were slightly muffled as she pulled her gown over her head and then turned to grin at him.

"You were a little bit quiet earlier," he said slowly. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Monica knew just what he was referring to and she most certainly did not want to talk about it. Paul had started talking to Andrew about work and about the training he would need to brush up on. It was the one thing that she had been trying to avoid thinking about.

"No… nothing," she replied quickly. It wasn’t a lie.

Andrew took his time undressing and then joined her under the covers. Monica quickly assumed her position with her head against his shoulder and waited for him to turn off the light. Instead he turned and fixed her with his serious green eyes.

"Baby, I’m not going to ask again after this, but before I do, I want to remind you that we both promised that we would be honest with each other. Maybe more honest in words than we ever have been before. I can’t feel what you’re feeling inside anymore, but I can still tell when something is bothering you. If you won’t talk about it… well… I guess I have to accept that, but I can’t tell you I’ll be happy about it."

She let out a long sigh and cocked one eyebrow as she looked up at him. "You don’t fight fair. You know that, don’t you?" she said with only the barest trace of exasperation.

Kissing her on the forehead he replied. "Yes. I know. But whatever works." He rested his chin on the top of her head. "This is about the job, isn’t it? About me working with Paul."

"Maybe," she answered, still evasive.

"Maybe or definitely?"

"All right. Definitely. I didn’t want to say anything, but part of me wishes that you wouldn’t take the job," she finally admitted.

"Baby, I have to work. I have to do something."

"I know that, but why can’t it be something like chief hug tester at a teddy bear factory?"

Andrew chuckled. "If I hear of an opening like that I’ll be sure to put in my application."

Crossing her arms on a pout Monica let out a huff of breath and turned away. Yes it had been a joke, but it had also been serious. Couldn’t he feel how worried she was? Then she remembered that of course he couldn’t. He might be able to tell she was bothered, but he couldn’t feel the depths of her apprehension. He couldn’t feel her fear for him in his heart.

"I’m sorry, sweetheart," he murmured as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I know this isn’t a game."

"Do you really have to work at the FBI?" she blurted out.

"Well… no… I suppose not," he admitted. "But it is something I know I’m good at, and I think that working with Paul could only be a plus. It just feels like the right fit." He tightened his grip slightly. "But if it bothers you that much, I’ll find something else. We’ll manage somehow."

"I wish it didn’t." She snuggled close again and her little pout relaxed into an anxious frown. "I don’t want to make you give up something that will make you happy," she told him. "It’s just… it’s so dangerous… all the time…"

"Monica, I’ll be careful…"

"I know you will, but you’re not an angel anymore. You’re a man. You can be hurt. You can… you can…" she began to stammer and couldn’t make herself say the last word.

"Sweetheart, that is not going to happen."

"You can’t promise that. You don’t know…"

"Yes I can. I can promise you that I am going to be with you to watch our child be born and grow up. I am going to be with you always. Do you really think God would let anything happen to either of us while we’re here?"

She didn’t want to answer. She believed just as strongly as he did that their Father was watching over them carefully, but whether he wanted to admit it or not, they were human now. Anything could happen.

"Look. I’m not going to do anything if you don’t want me to. So you just say the word. You mean more to me than any job, baby."

"No," she said after a long pause. "You should take it. It was so good of Paul to even suggest it, and I know it’s what you really want to do. You’re right. I’m just being silly." She tilted her head up and a small grin was curling up the corners of her mouth.

"All right. Then it’s settled. Now let’s get some sleep. You and I still have a second honeymoon to attend to this week before we head off to face the real world." He was smiling broadly and he wrapped his arms around her as he settled down under the covers and pulled her on top of himself. A moment later and he had reached out to turn off the light.

Monica listened to his heartbeat as it slowed into sleep and she struggled to make hers match the soothing rhythm. She didn’t know if she would ever really be comfortable with Andrew’s job, but she was determined to do a much better job pretending to be.

*****

By the end of the week, Monica was doing her best to hide just how apprehensive she was feeling in light of their move to Washington the following day. Though their little cabin in the woods would always be here, she simply wasn’t sure of when the next time would be that they would be able to return to it and it left her feeling a little sad.

Paul had just called to confirm that Andrew would be able to start working on his team on Monday and that due to so many of the agents already knowing Andrew and just assuming he was from another branch, an interview would not be necessary. Her husband had been talking to Paul when she had slipped quietly from the house to walk down to the dock, wondering when she would again be able to enjoy the peace and serenity she felt here.

Sinking down into the wooden chair, she drew her knees up to her chest and gazed out over the lake for a moment before tiredly leaning her head back and closing her eyes. Being not only pregnant, but now fully human had left her feeling rather tired, especially as she was still bolting out of bed like clockwork around seven o’ clock each morning to lose the previous night’s dinner. Add to that the fact that her husband had been taking this second honeymoon thing to heart and she was surprised she had been allowed much sleep at all this week. She never complained though, despite just how amorous Andrew had been the last several days. She loved the connection she felt with him when they made love and he was always a tender and considerate lover. Monica could only assume that he was still in awe of all that they had been given as well as savoring the time alone they had in the place where they had come together for the first time the night of their wedding.

Stifling a little yawn, Monica felt the now familiar dread in her heart over Andrew starting work in just a few days. Becoming human had left her with a whole new set of fears to try to cope with and her husband working for Violent Crimes with Paul was at the top of her list. The thought of something happening to him had been keeping her up at night after Andrew had fallen asleep, despite what he had told her about not believing God would allow anything to happen to either one of them. But even being an angel, she had been hurt in the past, so surely being completely human came with all the risks that humans faced each day and the possibility of being in this alone terrified her. She knew that if anything happened to Andrew that God would take care of him, but losing him, even if only temporary, was something the little angel would not be able to face. Surely she would curl up and die herself if it were to ever happen, but just as quickly as that thought crossed her mind, she was reminded of the tiny baby in her womb. No, she would have to find a way to go on for the sake of their child though the very idea of being without him had caused tears to well up in her eyes last night as she laid awake in her husband’s arms.

"There you are, angel."

Monica had been so engrossed in her thoughts she had never heard Andrew approach her and she started slightly at the sound of his voice. Before, she had always been able to sense how close he was, but all that had changed now. Opening her eyes, she smiled up at him. She could see the traces of worry now fading from his eyes and she supposed that he was still getting accustomed to the changes as well, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you."

Andrew smiled as he pulled her to her feet gently and then took her place on the chair, pulling her back down onto his lap, "Well, worry is a bit strong of a word, but I was wondering where you had gone."

Curling into his arms, she rested her cheek against his shoulder, "With leaving tomorrow, I just wanted to come down here one more time to watch the sunset." Sensing his upcoming question, she continued, "What did Paul have to say?"

Kissing the top of her head, he explained, "That things on the house are going to move rather quickly. The guy was quite pleased with an offer before it ever went on the market, needless to say, as he is anxious to get relocated."

Monica smiled, but then looked a bit anxious, "We don’t have anything, Andrew. No furniture, no money-."

A finger to her lips silenced her as he continued softly, "Tess was just here and we have a bit more than what we thought," Seeing her eyes widen, he smiled, "A bank account for one. We’re not rich, but it’s a start."

"Not rich?" She grinned up at him and laid a hand against his cheek her eyes showing the incredible love she felt for him, "I certainly wouldn’t say that."

Emotion welled up inside of him, as he took her hand and kissed it tenderly, "We’re rich in all the ways that matter, angel," He agreed, ducking his head to kiss her softly.

"What else did Tess say?"

"Well, she may think she has seen everything with us getting married and expecting our first child, but she has no idea," He chuckled and winked at her, "She has given us her car…on loan."

The little angel’s eyes flooded with disbelief, even as she laughed, "Now that does beat all!"

"That’s what I told her. As far as furniture goes, several things are being left with the house and we’ll manage the rest, sweetheart. We have not been left to build up from the ground," No, nothing was further from the truth after Tess had informed him to check his wallet. He knew they would not be provided for monetarily after this, but the Father had given them the basics to start out and it made him feel a good bit calmer about being able to provide for his wife in the coming months.

They fell silent as they watched the sun begin its decent in the sky, both of them knowing that beginning tomorrow night they would be watching it from the city and not the serenity of the lake.

"I guess this is it," Monica whispered, watching as the sun sank behind the trees on the opposite shore.

Resting his cheek against the softness of her hair, Andrew whispered, "Are you sad about leaving, angel?"

"I’ll miss being here," She replied after a moment, "It’s special because of all the times I’ve shared here with you; our honeymoon, being able to tell you we were having a baby. But we’re being led elsewhere now and I’m never sad to be going anywhere with you," She pulled away to look into his eyes, "My place is with you, Andrew, no matter where life takes us and I’m more than happy to be there."

"I love you, baby," He replied softly, kissing her once more and then studying her face carefully, "You look tired."

"I am, a bit," Monica confessed, "I’ll be glad when this morning sickness finally passes."

"Then let’s get you up to bed," Before she could react, he had stood up, sweeping her up in his arms.

Giggling, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he started up the wooden walkway leading back to the cottage, "Are you really going to let me sleep?"

He chuckled, "Of course I am! Once you have a little something to dream on."

*****

"Still getting sick, eh?" Alex smiled, though her eyes showed her sympathy as she walked into the kitchen Saturday morning to find Monica sitting at the table with a glass of ginger ale and the morning paper, still looking considerably pale.

"Yes," The little angel replied, returning her friend’s smile, "After the long drive yesterday, I was hoping morning sickness would see fit to give me a day off but that was not to be the case."

"Nope, it’s kind of like the postal service the first trimester, honey. Nothing keeps it away," Sitting down next to her friend at the table, after getting a cup of coffee, she glanced at the paper that was spread out, "The classifieds? Looking for a job?"

Monica nodded her head and then smiled ruefully, "Though I’m not sure of how pleased it would make Andrew. He’s become even more protective these days, but I’m not used to not doing anything. I’ve been an angel forever and always working and to suddenly not be able to do that…" She sighed, still trying to adjust to all the changes.

"But you’ll be working at preparing to be a mommy," Alex grinned playfully, though she understood completely. It was hard for her to imagine being a stay at home mom while Paul went off to work each day.

"Hmmm, sitting around and waiting for my stomach to grow," The angel mused, "Kind of like waiting for water to boil…for eight months!"

Alex’s eyebrows rose. "I see your point." She reached over to grab part of the paper. "What have you come up with so far?"

"Not much. They all seem to be looking for someone with a lot of experience…"

"Well you have experience in lots of things," Alex teased.

"I don’t think that’s what they have in mind."

A little laugh and Alex went back to skimming the ads. "Hey… what about this? ‘Radio station seeks call screener for morning show. Mother’s hours. Good telephone skills a must.’"

Monica was already shaking her head. "Ohh, I don’t know about that. I caught part of the Howard Stern show on the drive here… I don’t think I’d be comfortable doing something like that…"

"Ha! No… I don’t think this show is anything like Howard Stern. I recognize the station call letters. It’s a Christian station. I’ve flipped past it on the dial and caught them playing some contemporary stuff… gospel… things like that. Just your style if you ask me."

Monica accepted the page as Alex passed it back to her. "Well, that does sound better than I thought," she admitted.

"Good. Then it’s settled. I’m heading into the office today, just to show off little Matthew and pick up some paper work. I can drop you at the station on the way."

"You think?" In light of Alex’s ‘take-no-prisoners’ attitude Monica felt suddenly unsure. "Shouldn’t I run it by Andrew first?"

"Honey, you don’t have to ask him about everything. Anyway… you’re just going to talk to them. You don’t have to accept any offers. Heck, they probably won’t make any on a first interview anyway, but at least they’ll have your name and information, and then you can talk to Andrew about it tonight."

Alex made sense. She’d go and get a feel for the place and if it still seemed like something she wanted to do, then she’d spring it on her husband. Maybe after a nice tiring evening in bed. She wasn’t quite sure why she thought he would object. He always urged her to do what made her happy, didn’t he? He might prefer to wrap her up in cotton for the duration of her pregnancy, but she was pretty sure he would realize that simply wasn’t practical.

"All right. That sounds like a good idea. I just need time to shower and get dressed."

"Take all the time you need. I’m just gonna sit here and finish reading the paper."

*****

Alex beat Monica home that afternoon and was just beginning to think about dinner preparations when he heard the front door open. She was almost surprised by how excited she was, but the truth was that she wanted everything in Monica and Andrew’s lives to go perfectly. That probably wasn’t very realistic, but it didn’t stop her from wishing.

"You’re back!" she called out as she watched Monica close and lock the door. "How did it go? It must have gone well if they kept you so long. "C’mon into the kitchen and tell me everything while I throw something together for dinner."

Monica didn’t even have a chance to answer before her self-appointed big sister turned and headed to the back of the house, but she grinned after her and quickly followed. She was still feeling slightly overwhelmed with everything she had been told, not to mention the mounds of paperwork she had been required to fill out. Past employment history had been a bit tricky, but she had put down the last three places she’d worked while on assignment, and hoped that was good enough. It was amazing all of the things she had taken for granted when God had been her work reference.

"So?" Alex started in again as soon as she passed through the doorway. "Don’t keep me in suspense. Did they like you? More importantly: did you like them?"

"Yes, and yes," Monica replied with a smile. "They all seemed so nice and I think they liked me well enough. They asked me to come back to talk to the host of the show tomorrow morning."

"Wow! I guess they liked you! What’s the show about, anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it."

"It’s sort of a call-in advice show. The host is a minister and I guess he’s pretty well known for being pretty blunt about things. I think maybe they’re hoping I’ll soften things up a little bit. If I get the job my voice will actually be on the radio and everything!"

"Well I’ve always thought you had a beautiful voice," Alex commented. "That Irish lilt could melt ice. Yeah, I’d say you’ve got the job," she gave a little wink. "No you just have to tell Andrew."

Monica pursed her lips together and frowned. "Yes… Telling Andrew…"

Alex laughed. "Don’t look so worried! I don’t care how over-protective he is, he’s still a big push-over when it comes to anything you want."

"You think?"

"Are you kidding?" Alex shook her head. "Girl, you have no idea how good you’ve got it! Of course neither does he. Most women would probably take advantage, but not you."

"I do know how lucky I am," Monica said. "It’s just that… well… when Paul first offered Andrew a job… I was a little bit unsure about him taking it. I knew he would enjoy it, and I knew he’d be good at it… but…" she hesitated as she looked at Alex apologetically. "It’s just so dangerous. I’m sorry… I know you and Paul are very good at it…"

"Hey, don’t apologize. You’re right. It can get pretty hairy sometimes, and believe me, Paul and I have both gone through times of really worrying about each other. I hope you know that Paul will be keeping a special eye on Andrew. He’s his best friend. He’s not going to let anything happen to him."

"I know. I know… but when I was still feeling unsure, Andrew offered to turn him down. He said he’d do something else if it would make me feel better. So now, if he feels the same way about me working, I don’t know how I can do any less."

"Okay, listen to me," Alex said as she paused in cutting up a bunch of carrots. "I admit that was a very noble offer he made, but c’mon, Monica… I don’t think that working at a radio station has quite the same risks as working as an FBI agent. Your fears were pretty justified, but Andrew’s… well… that’s just Andrew being Andrew. I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it in the first place, but if he does, he’ll come around. Otherwise… he’ll have me to deal with."

The little angel smiled faintly, then asked, "Where are they anyway? Still at the FBI?"

"Yes. Paul checked in with me awhile ago. Your husband is very begrudgingly at target practice and apparently doing rather well. They should be home any minute now."

Monica turned away briefly, feeling a shudder run through her. Target practice was just one more reminder of what he would be faced with and she had already decided that she hated it, but she would do her very best to cover her true feelings about Andrew’s choice of career.

"Monica?"

She heard the concern in Alex’s voice but thankfully the front door opened, giving the angel the perfect opportunity not to reply. Looking up, she saw Andrew’s face break into a smile at seeing her and he wasted little time in wrapping his arms around her.

"I missed you today, angel. How’s my girl?" He kissed her gently and then waited for her to reply.

"Good. Did Paul run you ragged?"

"Naaah," Paul replied, from where he stood with his arm wrapped around Alex’s shoulders, "He’s a natural. He’ll be helping me track down the bad guys in no time."

Monica managed to keep her expression neutral as Andrew pulled away, but only to arm’s length, "Paul drove us by the house, baby. From the outside, it looks perfect. There’s even a swingset out back. We’re going to see about going through it tomorrow, if you’re interested."

"Of course I am," She assured him with a grin. It was all moving so fast that at times she wanted to plead with God to just stop life for a few minutes just so she could catch her breath. But she surmised that this was what being human was like and she could only wonder that once their child had grown up, would she be happy or sad to see it end.

*****

"I love you, angel," Andrew whispered that night once he had slipped from her body to pull her close to him.

"I love you too," She replied, trying to keep the exhaustion from her voice. She loved spending time with Paul and Alex, but they all did tend to stay up far too late talking and then when she and Andrew finally got to bed, he no longer wanted to talk, but not sleep either. Now she had about six hours before her stomach would start churning, and she still had to talk to him about the radio station. She decided that nonchalance would be the best approach, "I had a job interview today."

Andrew had been on the brink of dozing, but now his eyes snapped open and he looked down at her in surprise, "An interview? Where?"

"A Christian radio station. I would be screening calls and interacting a bit with the minister who runs the call-in show. They seemed to like me and they want me to meet with him in the morning." She was holding her breath, awaiting his reaction.

His mind raced. It seemed harmless enough, but yet, this was Monica and they were in the city, "We never really discussed you working, angel. I guess…I guess I didn’t realize it was something you wanted."

She could hear the hesitation in his voice, even though she couldn’t feel it with her heart and she propped herself up on one elbow to look at him, "I’ve always worked, Andrew, at least as an angel and I always loved it. I’m not sure I could imagine not doing anything. We’re going to be human for a long time and I need to feel like I’m contributing-."

"Monica, you don’t have to work to be contributing," He replied, his voice a little rough. He saw the worry and disappointment flash in her eyes and he sighed, "I’m sorry, baby. I just hadn’t considered this before and you know how I worry about you."

"I know and I love you for it, but this is perfectly safe, Andrew. If they choose to hire me, I’d be inside the station and it’s only in the mornings, Monday through Friday, so I’d be home with you all weekend," She could still see reluctance in his eyes, though she was starting to realize just how badly she wanted this, "Please? I need to be able to be doing something, to maybe have a chance to help some people in some small way. Everything has changed so much and this almost feels like a little piece of something that feels normal. You know that if you don’t want me to do it, I won’t, but-."

"Shh," Andrew hugged her close as he silenced her, understanding everything she was thinking and feeling just from her words. Things were changing and where most times, he was finding it a bit exciting, there were many parts of it that still scared Monica, "I would never tell you not to do it, baby. If it’s what you want, then you should pursue it. I want you to be happy and if this makes you happy, then I want you to do it."

Monica hugged him tightly, her heart soaring, "Thank you, Andrew! Thank you."

Though he still had reservations, he chuckled softly, "You don’t need to thank me, little one. There is one condition however…"

She pulled away and looked at him curiously as he continued, "I want you to take care of yourself. You’re human now and pregnant and I know how you tend to throw yourself into things. Just make sure you are taking the time to do things for yourself, just because you’re so precious to me."

"I will," Monica whispered, moving to kiss him softly, "You just make sure you do the same. I’m going to need you around the next eighteen years or so…and forever after that."

"And I will be here, sweetheart," Andrew replied softly, touching her cheek, "Count on it."