CHAPTER 11

Hearing the doorknob rattle, Tess quickly rose to her feet and flung the door to Monica’s apartment open. It was nearly four o’ clock in the morning and the older angel had been worried sick for hours now and if she had been grateful for nothing else, she had been grateful for the Father’s reassurance that her friends were indeed all right, as well as for Paul’s company.

The agent had insisted on knowing that Monica was all right before he would even consider heading back to his hotel. She had finally reached an agreement of sorts with the human, that they were both concerned about Monica and they had spent the last three hours with Paul filling her in on all the details of the last few weeks that Monica had avoided telling her, leaving Tess with a much greater understanding of her charge’s fears.

“Is she all right?” Tess asked worriedly, seeing Monica fast asleep in Andrew’s arms.

“She’s better,” Andrew replied quietly, not wanting to wake the exhausted angel. He was unable to hide his surprise at seeing Paul, considering the heated argument that had been in full swing when he had left the bar, “She fell asleep in the cab and I wasn’t about to wake her. Let me get her back to bed and we’ll talk.”
As Andrew rounded the corner to the bedroom, Paul stood up, “I guess that since she is all right, I’ll head out,” There was reluctance in his tone and Tess was quick to point back to the couch.

“Sit, baby. You might as well stay as it is obvious that you want to.”

Deciding this time not to argue, the agent took a seat once again as they waited patiently for Andrew to return. Paul suppressed a small smile as he thought about the times he had been so jealous of any affection Andrew and Monica had shown each other, but now he could not be more grateful in knowing they were angels and that she had someone constantly looking out for her when he could not.

Andrew managed a tired smile as he joined them both in the living room and they listened as he related what had occurred over the past few hours. He watched Paul’s face tighten in anger as he spoke about the two men in the park and he had a feeling that the agent would be following up on Monica’s two assailants in the morning.

As he finished, there was silence for a moment, before Tess broke it, her voice contrite and that was rather out of the ordinary for her, “Paul has filled me in on a few things that happened with McArthur the last few weeks, Angel Boy.”

Andrew felt his face redden a bit as Paul raised his eyebrows in amusement at Tess’ nickname for him and he wished that could have been avoided.

“Yes, we had a long talk, Angel Boy,” Paul laughed, unable to help but to give his former partner a ribbing especially since his embarrassment was so apparent.

Smiling sheepishly, the blond angel continued, “I’m glad of that, Tess. I wasn’t sure of how much Monica had told you.”

“Not much, to be honest. She’s been rather quiet about the whole ordeal, but I got a glimpse of the truth tonight before she walked off her assignment,” She confessed, before looking at Andrew through worried eyes, “Do you think she is going to continue?”

He considered her question for a moment before he slowly nodded his head, “Not that I want to speak for her, but I think so. She felt badly about it, to say the least, but was unable to help her actions at the time. But I do think she needs for you to understand, Tess. Not that I think you don’t, but I’m not convinced that she thinks you do as you weren’t there.”

Paul listened with interest to the exchange between the two messengers of God, further amazed by this relatively normal conversation that was taking place, as if they were talking about just a friend and not necessarily an angelic one. It did sadden him however, to realize that emotions were still running just as high, if not higher, as they had been in the time that he as well as Andrew had been Monica’s protectors. McArthur had scarred her, and it was just all the more reason for him to pursue whatever it was that had caused things to go so terribly wrong with her case.

The sun was beginning to slant through the blinds by the time Paul arrived back at his hotel, weary but still too keyed up to even think about sleeping. He tossed the keycard on the table by the door and wandered over to the desk in the corner of the room. A coffee maker and complementary packets of generic coffee sat at one edge of the massive piece of furniture, and he quickly tore one of the packets open after making sure that it wasn’t decaf. Sleep would have to come later in the day, in the form of a nap, if it came at all.

He kicked off his shoes and got himself comfortable on the bed while he waited for the smell of coffee to fill the room. Normally he liked to spread his work out over the coffee table in his living room, but at the moment the floral patterned bedspread would have to do. With one hand he reached down and pulled up the box of files he had gathered from the archives. They dated back five years and covered every witness who had been lost during that time. The stack of files from just the previous year was already on the nightstand, pale blue Post-It notes sticking out from the places he had thought deserved more attention. There were at least twenty-five of them.

Pulling the files had been the easy part. Going through them was tougher. Phone logs, agent task force lists, safe-house floor plans, even receipts, were all neatly saved and recorded, and he was determined to find some sort of common link. Only two of the cases involved witnesses he had protected, but one was the case that had changed his entire life.

He pulled her file from the box and flipped it open. Her picture was smiling out at him from its place, paper clipped to the inside of the folder. It startled him, although it was the same picture that he kept framed on his dresser at home. He had forgotten that he had included it in the file. His calloused fingers traced her features while he thought of how much she resembled the angel who had started this new investigation and realized that he wasn’t ready to read about her death again. He closed the file and shoved it to the back of the box. There were plenty more that could keep him busy before he had to relive that case.

The first thing she noticed was muffled sound of footsteps and the gentle clattering of china. She wasn’t alone. It was both a relief and a worry. She hadn’t spoken to Tess since leaving the bar, and she still wasn’t feeling prepared for that encounter. She opened her eyes and hoped that it was Andrew in the kitchen. Swinging her legs out of bed and looking down, she was slightly confused by the fact that she was still wearing her clothes from the previous night. Then she remembered the cab ride home, and leaning against Andrew’s strong shoulder. She had fallen asleep and he hadn’t woken her up.

The clock read ten-thirty, but it felt much earlier, and Monica yawned and almost stumbled as she stood up, her body still tired from her emotional ordeal. For a moment she considered changing into her nightgown, slipping under the covers and going back to sleep. Then the scent of coffee touched her nose, changing her mind. It was a brand new day, with no mistakes in it, and she was going to make the most of it. She was going to have a nice cup of coffee with Andrew, and then decide what she was going to say to Tess.

The clattering got slightly noisier as she approached the kitchen and she could smell bacon and eggs cooking as well. It instantly brought back the memories of all the mornings she had spent with Andrew and Paul. She smiled. There were some memories of that time that were worth holding on to.

“Good morning, baby.”

Monica stopped in the doorway, her heart instantly thudding against her chest as she saw Tess, apron in place, standing over the stove, spatula in hand. “Good morning,” she managed to say.

Tess was almost shocked by the expression on her angel girl’s face. It was a mixture of fear and anxiety that she had never hoped to see directed at her. Andrew was right. She and Monica had a few things that needed to be cleared up between them.

“Here’s your coffee,” she said, holding out a large mug. “I already added the cream and sugar just the way you like it.”

Monica took the mug gratefully, and took a long sip. She looked at Tess over the rim, but said nothing. She wasn’t even sure where to begin. Would an apology even cover running away from an assignment?

“Why don’t you take a seat. Breakfast is almost done.” Tess knew that she was really just filling the air with the sound of her voice, but the silence was too intimidating to let stand.

“Thank you, Tess,” the Irish angel said as she pulled out a chair and sat down.

Within two minutes the older angel was putting the plates on the table. They were heaped with scrambled eggs, bacon and toast and it all smelled delicious. Unfortunately it didn’t appear that Monica was going to do much more than push the food around with her fork. She was just waiting for Tess to say something. Anything really. Waiting for the lecture was almost as bad as receiving it.

“Monica,” Tess said at last, letting out a little sigh when the younger angel’s head shot up, her eyes like a frightened doe. “Baby, relax for a minute. Please.”

“Tess…”

“Hold on,” Tess shook her head, knowing that Monica was about to launch into a heartfelt apology. “As your supervisor, I think I should be the one to speak first.”

Monica nodded, lowering her eyes to her plate.

“And the first thing I want to say is that I’m sorry, baby.”

The little angel lifted her head, eyebrows drawn together, sure she must have misheard.

Tess reached over and laid a gentle hand on her wrist. “Monica, I know I’ve been pushing you a lot these past few days. I guess I thought that’s what you needed from me. I never for one second forgot that you were still dealing with some pretty powerful memories, but I guess I thought that forcing you to work would make those memories go away. I’ve always been the one to do the pushing, while Andrew’s been the one you could fall back on.” She shook her head again slowly. “Well that’s not the way I should have been acting. I should have been walking beside you. Helping you along.”

“But, Tess, I’m the one who hasn’t been able to get my assignment to listen to me.”

“And maybe that’s because it isn’t time for him to listen,” Tess replied. “I told you I didn’t think your best was good enough, and that was wrong.” She squeezed gently. “Paul and I had a long talk while we were waiting for you last night.”

Monica’s eyes widened a bit, wondering just exactly what had been said.

“Baby, from the second you came Home after that assignment, I knew you had been through something awful. I knew that, but I didn’t let myself think about any of the details.”

“I didn’t want you to know,” Monica said quickly. “It was bad enough to have Andrew carrying all that with him.”

“I know that’s how you felt, but let’s just say that my talk with Paul has given me a whole new perspective on things. I knew you were strong enough to handle this assignment, even if you didn’t believe it yourself, but now I know that even I underestimated you, even if the Father never did.”

The Irish angel could feel a blush rising to her cheeks and she brushed her hand across her face. “No… I’m not strong at all…”

“You are here, trying to make a difference. Even when you didn’t feel you could get through to your own assignment, you tried to help someone else. Your doubts don’t make you weak, Monica. Overcoming them makes you stronger than ever.”

“But what if I’m not strong enough to overcome them, Tess?” She asked softly, her eyes betraying her deep concern, “And it doesn’t feel like doubt as much as it does fear…”

The older angel was silent for a moment, trying to find words that were both truthful and helpful to her charge. Paul had laid it all out for her last night, in detail, all the things that had happened as well as Monica’s reactions to those things, and she now had an acute grasp of how the little angel must be feeling. In no way did she want to belittle her fears, yet she didn’t want Monica to dwell on them either.

“Fear is a funny thing, baby, and when you think about it, you have told many an assignment not to live by that emotion, but to trust in God to see them through. But then it was suddenly you who was being faced with something to fear and it was a position you were certainly not prepared for, though the Father was really all you needed, just like He is all your assignments need,” She saw a slight smile on her charge’s face though Tess could tell that Monica was still struggling, “God will see you through this, baby. You just need to give him the time and the chance to do so. He has also given you a few friends who all have your best interest at heart and who are always going to be in your corner.”

“You and Andrew,” She remarked softly, her dark eyes filled with never ending gratitude.

“Yes, and Paul, Angel Girl,” Tess added with a smile, “I believe that you have a friend for life in that human and that if there is anything he can do to help you, he would not hesitate for a second.”

The little angel blushed slightly, “I am very blessed, Tess…so very blessed.”

“Just as we are to know you, sweetheart, and I will promise that this old angel will be walking beside of you from now on.”

Getting up from her chair, the little angel moved to the other side of the table to wrap her arms around her supervisor, “Thank you, Tess…thank you.” The relief she felt washed over her like the first ray of sunshine after the rain and considering the storm she had experienced last night, she could only pray that her rainbow would soon be on its way.

The nap Monica had been trying to take was interrupted by a soft knock on her door as she got up tiredly from the sofa to answer it. She knew it wasn’t Andrew’s knock, despite the fact that she hadn’t seen him all day, which struck her as unusual, especially after last night. Peering through the peep hole, she smiled as she opened the door, “Hello, Paul.”

“I hope you don’t mind me imposing on you like this,” He grinned at her as he walked into the apartment and she closed the door and locked it behind him.

“You are never an imposition, Paul,” Monica replied, enjoying the newfound easy friendship between them, “Sit down, please. Can I get you anything? Coffee?” She noticed the dark circles under his eyes and she wondered if he had slept at all last night.

“Coffee would be great,” He agreed as he followed her into the kitchen, not at all surprised to see that a fresh pot had recently been brewed.

“You don’t look as if you got any sleep,” She voiced her observation as she removed two mugs from the cupboard and quickly filled them.

“I was here with Tess and Andrew for awhile and then had some work to do that couldn’t wait,” He explained vaguely, “But I wanted to check on you. Old habit, I suppose.”

Remembering Tess’ words from that morning, she nodded her head as she took out milk and sugar as well as two spoons and arranged them on the counter next to the mugs, before she stood back to allow him to fix his coffee to his liking, “Last night was not one of my more attractive nights,” She replied wryly with a slight grin.

“It was no wonder with that fight breaking out at the bar. You had every reason to take off out of there like you did, honey,” He remarked, his face etched with seriousness as he thought about her assignment and how much he disliked the man.

“Well, I’m not certain it was the right thing to do and now I have to hope I still have a job when I go in there this evening. I have a feeling I’ll be explaining a few things to Beth in order to try to justify my behavior,” She shook her head slightly, not willing to want to speak much about it at the moment as she would be back there soon enough, “So, tell me about this work you are doing.”

Though he quickly covered his chagrin over her question, it wasn’t fast enough for Monica not to catch it and he watched the perplexed expression cross her face, “I’ve been wrapping up some loose ends regarding your case,” He relented with a sigh, deciding that he was not about to seal his fate in hell by lying to the same angel he had hit on a few weeks ago.

“Trying to figure out how he found me three times,” Monica observed as she finished stirring her coffee and leading the way back to the living room.

Paul’s eyes widened at her words, wondering if she had been aware of that fact all along or if God himself had told her, “Yeah,” He stated simply as he sat down with her on the sofa, setting his steaming mug on the coffee table, “Though I never realized that you were aware of it.”

“It was rather hard to miss,” The little angel remarked, a hint of tension in her voice, “Especially the last time when no one else knew where we were headed.”

“Exactly. I’ve been pouring over old cases; cases where the witness was lost due to being found but so far I haven’t found any common ground, though I get the distinct feeling it is there somewhere and I’m just overlooking it.”

She noticed a sudden strain on his face and she had a feeling that there was more to the story then she was aware of, but she didn’t want to push him with anything that might be painful. Instead, she reached over and laid her hand on his arm, “You’ll find it, Paul.”

His heart swelled at her encouragement in the face of her own adversity and he laid his other hand on top of hers, “Thank you for that vote of confidence, Monica.”

She smiled, and as usual that small gesture was enough to make him believe that whatever she spoken directly from her heart. He took a sip of his coffee to mask the rather goofy grin he could feel forming. It was the same reaction he had always had with Lauren, and it was wonderful to be able to remember that without the grief that usually accompanied any memory of her. Monica may have been sent to earth to help David, but Paul knew that she would end up helping him just as much.