CHAPTER 3

“This looks delicious, Andrew,” Tess complimented as she sat down at the table just a few minutes later. “I think you’ve out done yourself.”

“Well, Monica helped,” he said with a wink.

“Andrew,” that angel chided him, “I cut vegetables… I don’t think that really counts.”

“Of course it counts… you risked your little fingers for me, after all.”

Monica couldn’t help but giggle, and the sound rang in the room like little bells. Andrew and Tess were both sure it was one of the best sounds they had heard in recent memory. Even Monica herself was surprised, and a shy smile turned up the corners of her mouth. Whatever good feelings she could manage, she was going to hold onto with both hands.

Dinner was very good, and afterwards the three of them moved into the living room and Andrew started a fire in the fireplace while Monica brought coffee and tea from the kitchen. She knew that Tess was bound to make the official announcement about their next case and she figured she should be fully caffinated for that moment. Andrew shot her a concerned little look as she entered the room and she knew that he was thinking the same thing. She gave a little shrug and a grin before setting the mug-filled tray down on the table.

For the next few minutes the three of them talked about anything but work. They discussed the different birds in the surrounding forest, and the horses that Andrew and Monica had ridden, and of course Monica had several amusing stories about Lucy. The kitten had chosen to make an appearance and was currently sprawled in front of the fire in a pose much more akin to a dog than a cat. However, as much as they wanted to avoid the inevitable, they couldn’t do so forever, and during a lull in the conversation, Tess put her mug of tea down and picked up Monica’s hand instead.

“I know I’ve already talked to both of you, and you know that our new assignment is starting tomorrow,” she said. “So I wanted to take a minute and let you know a little more about what we’re going to be doing.”

Monica didn’t look very happy about the change in topic, but she took a deep breath, resigned to the fact that sometimes she had to do things she didn’t want to for reasons that she couldn’t understand. Andrew didn’t even look in her direction, instead keeping his eyes trained on Tess’ face.

“You don’t usually tell us exactly what we’re doing ahead of time,” he said.

“I know, but I wanted everyone to have some idea of what’s going to be happening… no surprises,” she said, and Monica knew that the real reason was that Tess wanted to give her some time to adjust to what she was going to be doing. She was grateful, but at the same time she wished that her supervisor didn’t think she had to treat her differently. She wished even more that it wasn’t true.

“Where will we be going?” the little angel asked, trying to make herself feel more excited about the case.

“Not very far from here, actually, but in the city.”

“The city?” Andrew repeated, almost able to feel Monica cringing from across the room.

“Yes, and we’ll be living there too. It seems there’s a young man there who’s been letting himself run off down the wrong path, and Monica’s just the one to set him straight again.” She smiled, hoping that her young charge could sense the confidence she had in her.

“What about you and Andrew?” Monica said, careful to keep the self-doubt out of her voice.

“Well, I know that I’m going to be looking after the young man’s wife, but Andrew’s assignment hasn’t been made clear,” Tess answered.

“But he is coming, isn’t he?” she asked, just a trace of fear causing her voice to crack.

Tess squeezed her hand in reassurance, and answered, “Yes, baby. He’s definitely coming. I know that you aren’t looking forward to this, but you’ll have both of us there with you… and don’t forget that the Father will be there as well.”

Monica let out a sigh of relief as she quickly glanced between her best friend and her supervisor. “I know that He is always with me… but I’m so glad that both of you will be there too.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’m going to be working right down the street from you and Andrew will find that there is an opening for building manager at the apartment complex where we’ll be staying.”

“And I’ll be working with this man?” Monica asked, wanting to know as much as possible so that she could prepare herself.

“Well, not exactly. You’re going to be working at a bar he likes to spend time in.”

The Irish angel wrinkled her nose but kept her comments to herself. Bars were definitely not her favorite places, with all the smoke and the usually loud people coming and going. Her shoulders slumped a little at the idea of spending long hours working in one, but she put on a smile and tried to concentrate on the man she was being sent to help.

“I’m sure it’s more of a neighborhood type place, right Tess?” Andrew said, seeing his friend’s barely hidden distress.

“Well, mostly, yes. It’s a small place. Not too many people,” Tes replied. She really had very limited knowledge of what the place was like, but she wanted to do her part to boost Monica’s spirits. Inwardly she was shaking her head at the whole idea. She didn’t often question God’s plan, but this was one time she was really struggling with doubt.

“I’m sure it’s a very nice little place,” Monica said brightly, pulling some of her innate enthusiasm from a place deep within her soul, though her voice wavered just a bit. She set her coffee mug back on the tray and stood up. “I’m feeling really tired. I think I’ll just drop these in the kitchen and head up to bed.”

“Okay, you do that, baby,” Tess said warmly. “A good night’s sleep is exactly what you need before starting a new assignment.”

“Yes… I think you’re right,” she said, sounding only partially convinced. “Good night, both of you.”

She gathered up Tess and Andrew’s cups and disappeared into the kitchen, and a minute later they heard her walking up the back staircase to the bedrooms.

“A bar, Tess?” Andrew questioned as soon as he was certain Monica was out of earshot. “Could He think of a worse place to put her?” The tone in Andrew’s unmistakably frustrated.

“Now you just watch your mouth there, Angel Boy,” Tess said, narrowing her eyes. “I can’t say that I agree with her placement either, but in case it slipped your mind, it isn’t our place to make those decisions. I think that we had both better come to terms with how we’re feeling right now… before we let those doubts affect Monica. She needs our support, and if we act like we think this is a mistake, she’s just going to think we don’t trust her and she’s not going to trust herself.

“I know. I know. It’s just hard. Believe me… she’ll get nothing but confidence building words of support from me,” he said with a long sigh.

Tess stood up and patted Andrew’s shoulder as she passed by his chair. “That’s what I want to hear, baby. Now why don’t you go upstairs and say good night to her properly.”

The blond angel looked up into Tess’ understanding eyes and gave her a little grin. “Will do. I’ll see you tomorrow, Tess.”

“Bright and early!”

Monica had just crawled between the sheets when she heard a distinctive knock on her door. “Come in, Andrew,” she called.

“How did you know it was me?” he asked as he stepped into the room.

“Weeks of hearing that knock every time I tried to hide away from you and Paul,” she said with a little grin.

Andrew chuckled as he moved to the bed and sat down. “I guess I was a pretty frequent visit.”

“I was always glad to see you.” She paused for a moment and caught his eye, staring into his face and wondering if he really could read her mind. “I’m so glad that you’re going to be with me on this assignment too.”

“You know I wouldn’t want it any other way, Angel,” he said as he took hold of her hand, “but you have to believe that even if I wasn’t there, you’d be just fine. You’re a wonderful angel, Monica, with the ability to overcome anything. Remember that, okay?”

“I’ll try… but I’m still glad that I’ll have you around to remind me.” Her smile went straight to his heart and he leaned forward to wrap his arms around her.

“Always,” he said before standing up and pulling the covers up to her chest. “Now try to get some sleep… and don’t be afraid to call for me if you need me.”

“Thank you, Andrew,” she said as she yawned and began to shut her eyes.

He stood in the doorway and looked back at her, looking so peaceful. “It’s my pleasure, Monica,” he whispered, and he shut off the light and quietly closed the door.

Though the little angel slept peacefully for a few hours, the fall of night brought with it the usual problems for her as she found herself awakening from a nightmare, just short of screaming. Despite Tess and Andrew’s words to her, she elected to remain silent and to withdraw enough to keep her fear hidden from her best friend. She knew that he had an assignment as well in the morning and he needed to rest in order to be at his best, plus she also knew that with all of them working, there would more than likely be many times he would not be free to be with her. So she sat up in the chair in her bedroom, suffering in silence, determined to wait until the sun rose in the sky to announce the break of dawn.

Every little creak of the house settling unnerved her, as she drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped the comforter snugly around her small frame. Monica kept trying to tell herself that she had nothing to fear, but no matter what tactic she used, her heart refused to believe what her mind was stating. The terror of the last several weeks seemed to have settled deeply within her soul and no amount of wishing was dislodging it and she found herself completely envious of Lucy, who was curled up on the bed, sleeping soundly.

Night gave way to morning, but much to her chagrin, the day was promising to be rainy and dreary judging by the dark, ominous clouds that lingered in the sky that she observed from her window. Knowing that her two friends would not be up for a while yet, Monica headed to the shower, hoping the hot water might take the chill off her bones and some of the fatigue from her face.

When Andrew emerged from the shower two hours later, he was briefly puzzled by the fact that Monica’s bed was neatly made and her room empty, and for a fleeting moment he thought that perhaps she had been excited about the coming day and the aspect of getting back to work, thus causing her to be up so early. But as he entered into the kitchen, where she stood waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, and bid her good morning, he knew his hopes had been dashed.

“Angel, why didn’t you come to me if you were unable to sleep?” He frowned, seeing the dark circles of exhaustion underneath her tired brown eyes.

“I’m fine, Andrew,” She insisted, pouring them each a cup of coffee before handing one to him.

“Monica…”

She lowered her eyes for a moment, as she had been hoping to avoid this confrontation, but she should have known better as there was very little she was ever able to hide from him, “You needed to sleep, so there was no sense in both of us being up all night-.”

“Or maybe had you come to me, we both would have slept through most of it,” He countered, gently leading her to the table so she could sit down. She looked nearly as miserable as the weather outside and he wanted her to at least be able to relax a bit before the assignment began.

“I suppose I didn’t think about that,” She admitted, stirring milk and sugar into her mug slowly, “But Andrew, there could very well be nights on this assignment where you won’t be able to be with me and I need to be able to deal with that.”

He shook his head as he gathered ingredients for blueberry pancakes, deciding that regardless of lack of sleep, at the very least, she would have a decent breakfast to begin this day she was not looking forward to, “But last night was not one of those nights,” He pointed out, shooting a knowing look over to her and she could sense that he was somewhat hurt by her decision to not wake him.

“I’m sorry,” Monica offered softly, her eyes showing her regret that he was upset over her choice, “I’m afraid I haven’t been making the best of decisions of late and even the ones I do make, my heart won’t listen to.”

Not liking the things he was hearing, Andrew laid down the large spoon he was mixing batter with and hurried to her side, kneeling down in front of her, “Angel, I’m not asking you to apologize and I understand what you were thinking. What I want you to understand is that you don’t have to feel that way as I want to help you, no matter what time of day or night it happens to be at the time. I spent half the night worrying about you, but assumed you were sleeping soundly and if you would have just called for me, both of our fears would have been alleviated.”

His heart ached, seeing the tears that were welling up in her eyes and loathing them. She had always been emotional, but this raw fear and pain she was in was not of her character and he desperately wished that his vexation with Douglas McArthur would cease to creep into his heart every time he could so clearly see her hurt emerging, “What did you mean when you said your heart wouldn’t accept your decisions, angel?”

She shrugged her shoulders helplessly before trying to explain, “I kept telling myself last night that there was nothing here that could hurt me, but yet the fear never subsided,” Her expression turned to one of desperation as she shook her head, “This isn’t like me, Andrew…you know this isn’t me!”

“Shhh,” He said softly, reaching for her hands and holding them firmly in his own, even as he wished that today was having a better start. She was a bundle of nerves and her lack of rest was certainly not benefiting her at all, “In its own way, it is you, sweetie, as you try to accept and deal with the things that happened, but eventually it will pass. I promise you that and so does the Father.”

“But what about this assignment, Andrew? The city? A bar? How can I possibly feel safe in these places without you there?” Her voice was nearly pleading, as if somehow he could release her from having to be in these places that God was deeming it necessary for her to be.

“The Father is always with you, angel, always and I promise to be there as often as I can,” He hoped his words in some way helped her to find comfort and strength as he was feeling her despair with every fiber of his being, “Don’t measure this assignment against where you have just been, Monica. This is a clean slate and a new day, regardless of how dark it is outside right now. The light of God is always there, even in the darkest of moments and you know that.”

She nodded her head weakly, as she released one of his hands to wipe at her eyes, “I’ll try to remember, Andrew.”

But as he hugged her tightly for a moment, her eyes rested on the rain falling outside and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t see so much as a glimmer of light anywhere.