CHAPTER 35

The frustration at not even being able to change into a nightgown by herself threatened to dampen Monica’s good mood. She comforted herself with the thought that at least she was out of the hospital and she was much happier having Tess help her than one of the nurses.

The soft material had to be gently eased up over her injured shoulder and even as careful as Tess was the younger angel couldn’t keep from flinching. Tess’ expression held concern but she didn’t say anything. Monica was already tired of having everyone alternately asking if she was alright and apologizing for accidentally hurting her.

“All set, baby,” she said instead as she guided Monica’s arm into the white sling and fastened it behind her neck.

Monica let out a breath and felt herself relax. She hadn’t even noticed how tense she had become. There was a throbbing in her shoulder and she sat down on the bed heavier than she intended to and let out a sharp breath. Again Tess said nothing, but she did fish Monica’s pill bottle out of her pocket and silently hand it to the angel.

She looked up gratefully. “Thanks, Tess,” she said, and it was clear that she meant for more than just the pills.

Tess waved off the thanks and finished fluffing up the pillows. “Okay, now let’s get you tucked in,” she said with a grin.

Monica let the older angel ease her back against the pillows and pull the light sheets up to her chest. There was a hot breeze blowing in through the window and it flowed around both of them like a tender embrace. Tess found it to be a bit stifling, but Monica didn’t seem to mind.

“I could probably find you a fan somewhere,” Tess said pointedly.

Monica grinned. “No… after all the air-conditioning in the hospital I’m enjoying the heat.”

Tess shook her head a bit. First no shoes, now a hot-house lover. Had she taught her charge nothing? She grinned a little thinking about all of Monica’s other quirks… quirks that she wouldn’t give up for the world.

“All tucked in?” Andrew said as he stepped into the room.

“Snug as a bug,” Tess replied. “Which is apparently how she likes it.”

Andrew laughed and Monica let a sheepish grin cross her face. “I can’t help it. The warm air feels nice!”

“It’s hot air, baby, but if that’s the way you want it then you just lie back and enjoy it,” Tess said as she leaned in and cupped her hand around the Irish angel’s cheek. “I have to stop by and see Kristin, but you sleep well, Angel Girl. I’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

“I love you, Tess.” Monica couldn’t seem to get enough of saying those words. She wanted everyone around her to know how she felt.

Tess felt the color rise to her cheeks at the unexpected declaration. “I love you too, baby. Now get to sleep and don’t keep this one keep you up all night talking,” she said as she pointed her thumb at Andrew and chuckled.

“I don’t think there’s any danger of that,” Andrew commented, seeing the way Monica’s eyelids were already beginning to droop.

Tess gripped Andrew’s arm in a gentle squeeze and slipped out of the room, leaving the two younger angels staring at one another. Andrew could tell that a battle of wills was about to ensue.

“You should go down to your apartment.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You’ll be much more comfortable there.”

“I won’t sleep a wink”

“Really I’m fine.”

“What if you need something in the middle of the night?”

“I won’t.”

Andrew just stared at her and Monica eventually broke his gaze by blinking. He took that as acceptance and carefully slipped off his shoes and climbed onto the unoccupied side of the bed and turned out the light. Another look from Monica and he was inching closer and helping her to settle her head against his shoulder.

“How did you know I really wanted you to stay?” she whispered into the darkness.

“Because I know your heart, Angel.” He felt her small smile against his chest and let out a deep and contented breath before drifting peacefully into sleep.

Monica threw another wadded up piece of paper, delighted when Lucy scampered off after it, chasing it down and batting it from side to side. The kitten would play with it for a few minutes before deciding that it seemed to be “dead” at which point she would run back to her mistress and lick at her fingertips. Unfortunately Lucy hadn’t quite mastered the “bringing back” part of the game of fetch and so the room now had a dozen paper balls piled in one corner and Monica was busy tearing out another page of the newspaper.

Tess had been by in the morning, as promised, and she had helped the Irish angel prepare herself for her meeting with David. Monica was pleased that she had managed to shower and dress with a minimal amount of help. Her breath still caught against the pain in her rib, and she still couldn’t move her injured arm higher than a few inches, but she felt more alert and able nonetheless. Now she just wanted to get down to the jail and see David again face to face.

Andrew had promised to take her, but he had been needed to fix a burst pipe in the basement so she was forced to wait for him. It wasn’t an unpleasant way to spend the morning: playing with Lucy and just enjoying the freedom to walk around without being hooked to an IV stand or an assortment of well-meaning nurses.

“Come on in, Andrew” she said to the knock at the door and then giggled as Lucy tumbled over in her quest for the latest paper ball.

“Sorry to disappoint, but it’s just me,” Paul said as he opened the door.

“Paul?” Monica’s eyes widened. She had definitely not been expecting him. In fact she felt a twinge of guilt at the fact that she had purposely avoided telling him that she was going to the jail. After the dinner table and then their long talk, she hadn’t wanted to upset him and start another disagreement.

“I think I’m what they call an escort,” he said with a crooked grin. “I met Andrew downstairs and he agreed to let me drive you.” When she looked into his eyes she could see that he wasn’t particularly thrilled with the situation, but for her sake he was keeping the smile firmly plastered to his lips.

For a second Monica wasn’t sure what to say. She was glad that he had volunteered to come, but a part of her felt a little bit wary as well. She wasn’t sure how he would react to seeing David again. But, he was there, so surely that said something, and she slowly pushed herself off the chair.

“I’ll be glad to have you with me,” she said sincerely, and once again Paul fell in love with her sweetness. How could he possibly deny her anything?

Paul had yet another agency car and he swerved through traffic and down shortcuts, taking the best route to the jail. They were mostly silent on the drive, with neither one of them exactly sure what to say. Their longest conversation was four sentences about the weather.

Once at the jail Paul carefully helped her up the steps to the large doorway. They passed through security, and then one flash of his badge later and they were being led through the corridors and into a small, grey-walled room. Monica looked at the agent with a mixture of amazement and respect.

He shrugged. “I know some people.”

Monica was about to say more but then the heavy door was opening and David was at the doorway with a guard at his side. The young man looked shocked to see the two of them and didn’t say a word as the guard prodded him inside.

“You can take off the cuffs,” Paul said.

The guard looked skeptical for a moment but then he saw Paul’s hand subtly move to the gun that was holstered under his arm. The keys rattled, the cuffs slipped off and David instinctively rubbed at his wrists though they had been imprisoned for less than five minutes. The guard cast a backward glance before leaving the room and the sound of the bolt sliding home hung in the air.

“I…uhh… I wasn’t expecting you,” he said to Monica. Paul had stepped back into the corner of the room and David avoided looking at him. “I was expecting Kristin.”

Monica eased herself down into one of the chairs that surrounded the heavy metal table in the center of the room. David winced as he watched her careful and obviously strained movement. He wanted to say something but the words wouldn’t come. All that filled his mind was the incredible shame at having caused such pain. Paul’s stony gaze from the corner didn’t make him feel any better about it, and he stared at his hands instead.

“Why don’t you sit down, David?” Monica offered. It was strange, but she no longer felt any fear at being near him.

He somewhat reluctantly took a seat across from her but still couldn’t look her in the face for more than a few seconds at a time.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” she began, but before she could say anymore, the words were suddenly spilling from David’s mouth.

“I don’t know how… I mean how can I say I’m sorry? That just sounds pathetic! I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I don’t want you to think I’m only saying I’m sorry to guilt you into that. I… I look at you and I can’t even believe what I did to you. I know you won’t believe it but I am sorry… I am… I’m sorrier than I have ever been for anything in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever stop being sorry for it. I don’t even know what I was thinking… I was just so drunk and so desperate… but that’s not an excuse… there isn’t any excuse…”

David’s head was shaking back and forth the whole time he spoke, and he frequently turned his pleading eyes up to hers, but only to quickly break her gaze and go back to staring at his hands and the smooth surface of the table. By the time he finished he was running one hand nervously through his hair while the other hand nervously curled around the arm of his chair.

“David.” Her soft voice captured him and he looked up, shocked once more to see such a peaceful and calm expression on her face. There was no anger there, no fear and no regret. “I didn’t come here to have you apologize to me. I know that you’re sorry and I have already forgiven you.”

“What?” his brow crinkled in confusion as his eyebrows knit together.

“I appreciate you telling me you’re sorry, but I don’t need to hear it. I’d rather hear you apologize to God and ask Him for forgiveness.”

He was completely blindsided by the statement and he shook his head, amazed that Kristin had resorted to bringing complete strangers in to try to force him to believe. “So I guess Kristin sent you then,” he said wearily. “You didn’t just decide to come on your own.”

Monica tilted her head and pursed her lips together, not about to lie to him. “Kristin did tell me that she felt you needed help she couldn’t give, but I’m the one who wanted to come, David.”

“You can’t force me to believe any more than she could. Isn’t it enough that I’m truly remorseful? Isn’t it enough that I’m promising to turn my life around and be a better man?”

“I know I can’t force you to do anything. That’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why?”

“I’m here to help you find the belief that you used to have and that you somehow lost along the way.”

“Well maybe I don’t want it back. I don’t see that it helped me much,” he said, his voice still tired but laced with bitterness.

“It didn’t help you because you wouldn’t let it. You chose to find your answers in a bottle rather than in God.”

David looked up, skepticism written all over his face. “And I suppose He’s up there just waiting for me to come to him?”

“As a matter of fact, He is,” she replied, and as she spoke she could feel the power and love of God flowing through her damaged human body. She could feel all her hurts healed and all her pain washed away. She stood up and watched as David’s eyes grew wide and the light of God shone out from her and filled the room. “I am an angel, David, sent to you by God to put you back on the right path and to remind you that He loves you and He is always there for you if you call out to him, or even if you whisper.”

“He… you’re… God knows me? He knows who I am?” The very idea flabbergasted him.

“Of course He knows who you are,” Monica said, and her smile was like a thousand happy sighs. “He knows and loves all of His children.”

David’s eyes were quickly filling with tears and he swiped them away, completely overcome by what this small Irish-tongued woman…ANGEL… was saying to him. He found it difficult to comprehend.

“And He forgives me for the mess I’ve made of my life?”

“Yes He does. He knows your heart. He knows the pain and confusion that filled you and He knows the goodness that made you give yourself up. Now He just wants you to know Him. He will be there for you through all your sorrow and all your joy if you’ll just let Him.”

David could only nod, his throat tight with emotion. “I believe you,” he whispered. “I believe… and I want to know Him… I really do.”

Monica walked around the table and laid her hand on his shoulder. “Then just speak to Him from your heart. He’ll hear you now, and always.”

From his seat in the corner Paul could feel tears pooling in his own eyes. They had begun to form at the beautiful sight of Monica’s transformation and had increased at seeing the change that came over David. In that small and dingy room he could see a man’s heart reborn. He could feel the power of God that filled every corner.

“Oh, God,” he silently prayed. “Why has it taken me so long to come to You? Please forgive me for my stubbornness. Forgive me for needing to see Your grace displayed before me this way when all I really needed to do was remember my love with Lauren, and look into Monica’s eyes to see the truth. Please help me. Help me to get rid of this anger I’ve held onto for so long. I want to remember the love, Father, and I want to feel Your love with me… now and long after Monica and Andrew and Tess leave.”

He didn’t expect an answer. It was enough that he had spoken to God in his heart, but in an instant he could feel God’s presence flowing through him. It entered and filled him, dulling the anger and filling his heart with the sure knowledge of an unending love. Even after the feeling passed he could still sense the love, and he knew that God was watching over him. He watched silently as Monica turned to face him, as the light faded, and the expression that formed on her face was filled with joy. Somehow she knew.

She fell into his arms and hugged him with all her might. She couldn’t even begin to say how happy she was. He had at last begun to find peace and she could see it in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He wasn’t even embarrassed when a single stray tear managed to escape and drift down into her hair. Her assignment had to be nearly over. She would be leaving soon.

It was much later that day that David was sitting at the same table only this time it was Kristin who was sitting across from him. Paul had arranged a more intimate meeting for the two of them, instead of having a glass wall separting them and Kristin’s eyes immediately widened at a look of peace on her husband’s face that she had not seen in a very long time. But David spoke before she could question it.

“Kris, you were right.”

She briefly looked confused, unsure what it was he was talking about, “How do you mean?”

“About God. He is real and He and I had a long chat this morning and I think we’ve reached an understanding.” He spoke softly, a smile playing on his lips.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she digested his words, “And what might that be?”

“I’m going to let Him lead me where He sees fit and not give him a hard time about it. In return, He will give me his peace that everything is going to work out just fine…for me, for you and for our baby.”

Tentatively, she reached across the table and took his hand, watching as he linked his fingers through hers and in that moment she could clearly see the man she had fallen in love with, “Dave…” She whispered through her tears, not even sure if there were words to express what she was feeling.

He grinned and dropped his voice to a whisper, “Krissy, there really are angels.”

She laughed through her tears and nodded her head, “Yes, I know.”