CHAPTER 6

The new light bulbs in the stairwell definitely made a difference, but nevertheless, Monica was out of breath and trembling by the time she reached the third floor. There was just something about those narrow stairs. She had her key in her hand as she walked down the hall, and she quickly slipped it into the lock and let herself in.

Lucy was meowing at her feet before she had taken a step inside, and when she looked up she saw that Lucy wasn’t the only one who had been waiting for her.

“Hello, baby. I wanted to stop in and just see how things went,” Tess said warmly, patting the sofa cushion and motioning her to sit down.

“Everything went alright,” Monica said, feeling suddenly guarded. For the first time ever, she didn’t want to tell Tess everything that had happened with an assignment. She didn’t know how she could explain herself to Tess when she was looking at her so clearly expecting a glowing report.

“Well, did you meet David?” Tess asked, a little bit puzzled by Monica’s reticence.

“Yes… I met him.”

Tess sighed, exasperation quickly taking over “Did you talk to him? How did it go?”

Monica looked up, lower lip caught between her teeth. “I tried to talk to him, but I don’t think he was ready to listen.”

“Well, sometimes it takes more than one try to get a person to hear what God has to say,” Tess said. “You tried your best, didn’t you?”

Monica didn’t answer, thinking about her hesitation to even approach David, much less speak to him. She had honestly felt as though she had made a real attempt to get through to him, but looking back on it, she knew she hadn’t done everything she could have. Fear had prevented her from really pushing him to listen to her.

Tess didn’t say anything but she stood up and Monica could feel her looking at her. Sometimes Tess’ silences could be harsher than any words. The older angel was clearly disappointed, and at the moment Monica couldn’t really blame her.

“Monica,” she finally said, her voice stern. “David is your assignment, and you are expected to do everything in your power to make a difference in his life. I don’t have to remind you that God doesn’t give orders lightly. He expects them to be obeyed. So if you didn’t try your best tonight, you had better get it into that head of yours to try more than your best tomorrow.”

Monica hardly had time to say good-bye to Tess before the older angel had disappeared, leaving Lucy circling the place where she had stood. “C’mon, Lucy,” she said, heavy hearted. “We’d better get to bed.”

The little angel went through her normal bed-time routine, with one notable exception. As she was putting away her toothbrush she saw a small jar of ointment in the medicine cabinet, propped up by a roll of gauze. She knew that it hadn’t been there that morning, but she was rarely surprised to find that God had provided for her. The burn to her hand wasn’t very bad, but the ointment would assure that it was better by morning, and she carefully applied it and then covered it with the bandage. As she ran a brush through her hair, the bright white of the gauze caught her eye in the mirror. She was surprised by how upset she was to see it. She had just put it on, but somehow seeing it reflected… seeing herself reflected… it made it much more real. It was a reminder and she didn’t need any of those.

She set the brush down and retreated to the bedroom, eyeing the bed with some trepidation. She was exhausted, but she wondered how much sleep she would actually be able to get. Lucy, meanwhile, was already curled up next to her pillow, and the angel could help smiling as she thought about Paul taking care of all of the other kittens. She slipped into bed and curled herself around Lucy’s little body. “I wish you could teach me your secret,” she whispered.

Unfortunately that didn’t happen, but Monica was determined to make herself sleep. She had made it up those three flights of stairs, and she was going to make it through the night as well. She spent the next fifteen minutes trying to get comfortable, and was only mildly surprised when a warm glow filled the room.

“I thought you’d stop by when you got back,” Andrew said, a trace of hurt in his voice.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” she said as she propped herself up, “and anyway, I think it’s time I started taking care of myself, don’t you?” There was a hard quality to her voice and she refused to meet his eyes.

“Whoa there. Where is that coming from? I thought we already went over all this.”

“She was silent, but she knew he was expecting some kind of response.

“Monica?”

“Tess was here,” she said, not answering his question.

He blinked, allowing a second for his thoughts to catch up to hers. “What did she say? How did things go tonight? Did you meet up with your assignment?” He decided that if she wouldn’t answer the question he wanted the answer to the most, then he would pepper her with others and try to increase his odds of getting at least one answered.

“Yes, I met my assignment,” she said. “That’s what Tess came to talk to me about. She wanted to know how it went.”

“Well? How did it go?” he said expectantly.

“Not very well. I guess I just didn’t have the right words.”

“This was your first time meeting him, Angel. You know as well as I do that it doesn’t always happen right away.” He was a little worried that she still wouldn’t meet his eyes, but he didn’t want to push her.

“He isn’t a good man, Andrew,” she said quietly.

“What? Monica… why would you say that?”

“He just isn’t,” she answered, not wanting to go into everything that she had heard and seen both before and during her time at the bar.

Andrew had a feeling that there was more going on, and he only wished he knew how much of it was really caused by Monica’s assignment, and how much was left over from McArthur. “God doesn’t create bad people,” he said slowly, “and He wouldn’t have sent you if He didn’t think that you could help this man.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sure about what?”

“Are you so sure that God doesn’t create bad people?”

Andrew frowned at the question, knowing she was challenging him to defend his words and this was not something he was accustomed to coming from her. He suddenly felt unsure of himself as he simply didn’t know what was triggering this question, attitude or sudden withdrawal. He thought about avoiding her inquiry altogether, until he knew more of what he was dealing with but that seemed neither right nor fair.

“Yes, Monica, I’m sure,” He stated slowly, trying to gather his thoughts as he proceeded, “Every human being is brought into this world in innocence, with no preconceived concept of evil. It is the world that teaches them right and wrong and free will that gives them the right to chose which path they will follow for their own life. God’s love is in the first breath of every child but within the first year of their life, they begin to learn about choices and about repercussions for their actions. Little by little they began to decide if the action is worth the possible punishment and for some it is. Others are never met with any punishment, so they may feel that they can get away with anything. But in both cases, that knowledge paves the path for their journey in life,” He drew in a deep breath, hoping his answer would satisfy her and put her doubts to rest, at least about this, “So, no, God does not create bad people, the world takes care of it all on its own.”

His reply was greeted with silence and he felt her distress gripping his heart. This whole thing had been more difficult for her than he could ever have imagined and she was struggling with so many issues and once again he felt frustrated at the fact that she was even expected to work so soon.

“Angel, talk to me. What happened tonight with your assignment?”

“I don’t much feel like talking about it,” She stated softly as she lay back down and closed her eyes, trying to shut him out physically as well as emotionally. She had seen the disappointment in Tess’ eyes tonight all too clearly and to tell Andrew about tonight and see that same look in his eyes would be more than she could bear. Besides, she carried enough disappointment for herself in her heart for all three of them.

Andrew’s shoulders sagged as he watched her withdraw and he knew that he would get nothing more out of her tonight. Sighing sadly, he leaned over her bed and tenderly brushed the hair from her cheek before kissing her forehead. Turning around, he thankfully didn’t see the lone tear that made a shiny path down her face.

“You’ve been looking for me, Angel Boy?”

Andrew looked up from where he sat in Monica’s living room half an hour later at the sound of Tess’ voice. He had been in no hurry to leave the sleeping Irish angel and without knowing the specifics of his own assignment, there was no place else he neither needed nor wanted to be at the moment. In all honesty, he was beginning to wonder if his assignment was simply to be here for Monica, and if that were the case, it would suit him just fine, “You talked to Monica earlier?” He questioned, having made the decision that if the little angel was not going to supply him any answers, then maybe her supervisor could.

“Briefly,” She replied, eyeing him sternly, as she had a feeling she was in for a bit of an argument from the protective Angel of Death.

Quickly sensing, Tess’ defensiveness, Andrew decided to shift gears for a moment, as he needed information, not a lecture, “How was she when you saw her, Tess, as things were not all that great when I did?”

Relaxing a little, the older angel sat down on the sofa next to Andrew with a heavy sigh, “She was vague, baby. All she would say was that she didn’t think David had been ready to listen, but what I got was the specific feeling that she hadn’t made much of an effort to get him to listen and that what she gave him certainly wasn’t her best.”

Meeting his eyes squarely with hers, he replied as gently as he could, “Maybe right now, Tess, that is her best.” He was already feeling frustrated once more, already getting the feeling that Tess had voiced what she just had to him to the Irish angel as well.

“Don’t give me that, Mr. Halo,” She replied firmly, “God didn’t make a mistake with assigning Monica to David. Now, she has a job to do and as her supervisor, I need to make sure she does it, to the best of her ability.”

Rising from the sofa, he ran a hand through his hair before turning to face her once more, “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Tess. Maybe given everything that just happened to her and around her the last few weeks, that this is the best of her ability. McArthur took more from her than I think you realize. She questioned herself constantly during the last few weeks, about everything, even down to my being there for her. Tess, she hasn’t had time to reconcile these things for herself and I still don’t know what he said to her in the barn that day before I got there as she has never offered me any information about it,” His green eyes were pleading with her to understand, knowing that his dearest friend needed them on her side right now and while he knew that in reality Tess was indeed that, he also knew that she didn’t always come across that way, “She doesn’t want to be here, Tess, that much is clear, but she is trying to do what is being asked of her. But it isn’t going to take much to squelch that little bit of confidence she is holding onto right now.”

Tess had listened in silence to everything he had been telling her and she had to admit that there had been things she had not realized. Yet on the other hand, she was caught in the middle. She needed Monica to do well for the Father and for David, regardless of how she was feeling inside, though ignoring how her Angel Girl was feeling wasn’t really an option for her either, “Where is this all coming from, Andrew?”

He was quiet for a moment as he met her gaze, “She’s shutting me out again, Tess, and I don’t know why. She was all right earlier, but after working tonight, I feel like she has taken three steps backwards.”

“I was probably not as supportive as I could have been,” She admitted after a thoughtful silence, “But sometimes Andrew, I figure you are giving her the support she needs and that what she needs from me is guidance on how to get the job done.”

“And there are many times when she doesn’t need either of those things, Tess,” He reminded her softly.

“I know that,” she said, trying to keep all defensiveness from her voice. “I guess sometimes it’s hard for an old angel to change her wings. I can’t stop pushing her, Andrew. I don’t want to see her hurting any more than you do, but God didn’t send her here without a purpose. You’re right. Maybe she isn’t ready… but maybe this assignment will push her towards healing.”

“And maybe it will just push her further away from all of us.”

Tess sighed but she didn’t say anything to contradict the angel of death. She peeked around the corner into Monica’s bedroom and watched the younger angel sleeping, one arm curved over Lucy’s tiny body. “Tomorrow will be better, Andrew.”

“I hope for all our sakes that you’re right.”