CHAPTER 25

 They were into the second week of their honeymoon and were both beginning to hope that perhaps God would forget all about them and leave them at the cabin forever. Of course they knew that wasn’t about to happen, but it was a lovely dream. They had just come back from a late-night swim and Monica stripped off her bathing suit and tossed it into the bathtub. Andrew reached for her hand as she went to grab her nightgown from the hook on the back of the door.

“I don’t think you’ll be needing that,” he said, giving her a look that sent a pleasant shiver up her spine.

“No, eh?” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

A second later she let out a little squeak as he scooped her into his arms. “Definitely not,” he growled into her ear and swiftly carried her to the bed where he laid her down gently and then stood back to look at her hungrily.

She smiled up at him, finally used to the way he always looked at her with such love and desire in his eyes.

“I swear, Monica, just looking at you is enough to drive me crazy,” he said and he quickly pulled off his swim trunks and climbed onto the bed.

Reaching up to kiss him she murmured, “Well it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one.”

Passionate kisses were soon not enough, and Andrew’s hands roamed over her body even as he continued to lovingly nip at her shoulder and neck. She had her hands on his shoulders, gently kneading and urging him on. The way he always made her feel never failed to amaze her. It was still hard to believe that she had been allowed such perfect pleasure.

His hand was suddenly lower and she let her legs fall open as she gasped at feeling his touch again for the first time. He stroked through her folds and then tickled at the small nub at the top, smiling as the sounds coming from her mouth increased in volume. A moment later he was claiming her mouth and she took his breath as she reached down to position him at her entrance.

“Now,” she managed to whisper when they broke apart, and he happily obliged, pushing into her slowly, loving the way they fit together so perfectly.

Almost instantly she began to move against him and he breathed heavily against her ear as he followed her rhythm. “Ohh, baby… you’re so tight…” he murmured, pushing in a bit harder and taking hold of her hips to pull himself closer.

Monica felt her heart suddenly pounding out of control and every muscle in her body tensed. She closed her eyes, breathing hard, trying not to panic. When she opened them, Andrew was staring down at her. He had stopped moving and the concern in his eyes made her turn her head.

“Monica?”

She didn’t give him a chance to ask the question, she started moving again, trying to pick up the same feeling she’d had just minutes earlier. Her movements were almost frenzied and Andrew carefully took hold of her hips again and stopped her.

“Monica, stop… what’s wrong?” He could tell immediately that there had to be something, she was almost in a daze and she was staring up at the ceiling, unseeing.

He gently withdrew and his heart almost stopped as she let out a stifled sob. Pulling her close he kissed her forehead and stroked her hair.

“Angel, what is it? Please… did I hurt you?”

She quickly shook her head but her trembling told another story.

“Monica, what? You can tell me,” he pleaded.

“Baby,” she whispered, “ ‘You’re a tight little cunt’, that’s what he… that’s what he said,” she stammered. “He…he kept pushing in harder…”

Andrew’s stomach tightened and he thought he might throw up. He had made her remember the rape. Something he had done had triggered a flashback.

“Monica, I… I didn’t… I’m so sorry, angel,” he murmured as he held her closer and continued to stroke her hair and her back. “You know I would never, ever hurt you.”

He felt her nod against his chest but somehow it failed to make him feel any better. The minutes passed and he gradually felt her calm in his arms, her heartbeat drifting back to normal. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make this up to her, but hopefully by morning she wouldn’t have receded into her mind. He let his eyes close, but a minute later they snapped open as he felt her small hand brush down his stomach and then grasp him firmly.

“Monica, what…” he turned to look at her, and saw guilt in her eyes.

“I… I’m sorry I stopped,” she whispered. “I can’t let you tonight, but…” she gently stroked him and he quickly grabbed her wrist.

“Angel…” he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. “No. Sweetheart, if I can’t give you pleasure, then it isn’t worth it to me.”

She blinked quickly and he caressed her cheek. “Do you think you owe it to me or something? You don’t owe me anything except your love and you’ve given me that with your whole heart. Come here,” he pulled her closer until her head was resting over his heart. “I just want you to sleep, angel, and I will be here to chase away any dreams that come.”

“I love you so much,” she whispered and he felt his heart ache as a tear fell to his chest.

“I know you do, Monica, but that doesn’t mean you ever have to do anything that makes you upset, or hide that you’re upset. I love you with everything that I am, and more. Now shh, close your eyes angel. Close your eyes and think about that love. Can you feel it coming from my heart?” She did as he asked and let out a long sigh as she felt his love flowing over and through her. “Now sleep… I’ll be with you when you wake up and for the rest of eternity.”

*****

Much to Andrew’s relief, though it did little to alleviate his guilt, his little angelic wife only had one nightmare during the night which he had gently soothed from her.  He had nearly wanted to weep when he had heard her whimper against his chest in her sleep, the worst time of her existence once again coming back to haunt her all because of something he had said.

Now, as the sunlight stretched out across the sky and filtered in through the window, he simply watched her sleep.  She was peaceful now, the flashbacks hopefully having run their course, though he continued to gently and tenderly run his fingers lightly through her hair as if to remind her of his presence even in sleep.  He only wished he didn’t now feel that he had to protect her from himself.

Soon after, he watched as her dark lashes fluttered as she stirred slightly in his arms.  Her contented sigh helped with the ache in his heart as he brushed his hand lightly over her cheek.

“Good morning,” Monica whispered, moving enough to be able to look into his face and seeing the guilt that still lingered in his eyes.

“Good morning to you too, sweetheart.  How are you feeling?” He almost dreaded the answer.

“Better,” She replied with a sweet smile that nearly melted his heart, “Safe”

“Angel, about last night…baby, I’m so sorry…”

She reached up and touched a delicate finger to his lips, “You couldn’t have known.  I never gave you specifics and even if I had, neither of us would have known that it would…”

“I never would have said it,” He shook his head in disgust, the self reproach evident in his eyes, “I hurt you and I…”

“Andrew, please,” She moved so their faces were only inches apart, “You’re nothing like him,” Her hand moved to stroke his cheek, “Nothing at all,” She moved in closer and kissed him, gently and tenderly, putting all the love in her heart into that one moment, “Thank you for chasing away the dream.”

He looked surprised, not having realized she had even been aware of having a bad dream, “I didn’t realize you had woken up, sweetie.”

“I didn’t..not really, but I could still feel you…I could hear the things you were telling me and you chased it away,” She smiled as she kissed his cheek, working patiently down his jaw and then lower to his neck.

Her soft mouth against his skin caused him to close his eyes briefly, savoring the sweetness that was this beautiful little angel, but a moment later, he stopped her.  He had some making up to do, regardless of the fact that she was laying no blame.  He moved gently so her head was resting up against the pillow and a lump formed in his throat at seeing her dark eyes, filled with complete trust.

He moved to tenderly lay kisses on her eyelids, her forehead, her cheeks, feeling shivers running through her at his gentle touch. He worked his way slowly up her neck and his tongue brushed against her ear, bringing a greater tremble from her body.  He smiled briefly against her skin before he focused once more, laying wet, soft kisses back down her neck and to her shoulder.  Low moans were escaping her and he felt her hands moving to his shoulders, but he stopped her, pinning her hands gently above her head with one of his own.

“No, angel,” He whispered softly, and then immediately went back to kissing her, making it a point to cover every part of her face, neck and shoulders with his kisses.  He could feel her nipples hardening beneath him as he kissed down her breasts and she arched her back, causing him to stop momentarily until she relaxed once more.  Only then did he take one delicate bud into his mouth, sucking it softly, feeling her heartbeat quickening.  She moved her hand again to press him closer, but once more, he stopped her, only returning her hand to above her head, never stopping this time as he continued to suckle her.

As his mouth moved to her other breast, his fingers ran lightly over her stomach and down to her core, stroking down through her folds with gentle fingers.  He heard a gasp from Monica’s lips, but she made no move this time.  He stroked her softly, feeling the silky wetness of her as he claimed her other nipple with his mouth.  His fingers moved slowly, up and down, never entering her and purposefully avoiding the little pleasure nub that he could feel throbbing against his hand.  Andrew could tell she was nearly frantic and soft mewing sounds escaped her, before more urgent pleas.

“Andrew, please…please…” She was begging for release and knew at this point it would not take much.

Andrew knew it as well, and he slowly entered her with two fingers, curled upwards to hit her most sensative spot as his mouth moved back to her other breast, his touch still ever so gentle.  His fingers worked in and out of her slowly, before his thumb finally ran lightly over her nub, nearly plunging her into oblivion.  He felt her tighten around his fingers as a cry escaped her lips and her body trembled through the intensity of the orgasm, but he was far from finished with her.

Removing his mouth from her breast, never removing his fingers, he waited until he felt her beginning to calm and a moment later, he was lapping at her, his warm tongue moving over the now sensative nub gently. Looking up, he saw her small hands curled into fists as tears escaped her eyes and he took her into his mouth and sucked her, hearing her passionate cries as her body tensed once more.  As his wife rode out the waves of passion, his tongue probed into her, drawing out her second orgasm until she was gasping for breath and crying out his name.  He drank of her juices, loving the sweet taste of her, as well as the way her body continued to shudder with the intense release.

Moving up and above her, he entered her slowly, the tightness of her climax still surrounding him and he stroked her slowly until she had found her breath once more.  Only then did he speed up his thrust, plunging into her depths a little more with each powerful stroke.  His angel’s eyes were closed, soft moans escaping her lips as her head moved both restlessly and tiredly from side to side.  Reaching down, he found her pleasure bud once more and rubbed it gently with his fingers, his eyes filled with both amazement and incredible love as she cried out once more, and this time, he followed, even as he continued to move within her, drawing out her release along with his own.

Only then, did he move to kiss her, tenderly and passionately as his fingers wiped at her tears.  As she wrapped her arms around his neck, he whispered into her ear, “I love you, angel, with all my heart, completely, and I will never hurt you again.”

Pulling away, she looked into his eyes, “You never hurt me, Andrew.  I don’t think you ever could.  A memory hurt me last night.  Not you.  Never you.”

“I just feel like I caused that memory, angel,” He replied softly, brushing his fingers through her hair.

“No, Andrew.  The memories are always going to be there but hopefully with time, I will be able to control them or they’ll fade.  But I never want you blaming yourself for them,” She still saw doubt in his eyes and she kissed him softly, “You know how Paul always says that I saved him in all the ways that mattered?”

“You did, sweetheart.”

“Well, you did that same thing for me, Andrew.  After the rape, I had never been so lost or felt so alone and I was alone because I was having so much trouble letting anyone else in.  But you…you never gave up on me.  Even when I pushed you away, time and time again, you stayed.  You told me you loved me when I couldn’t even begin to believe it.  I didn’t feel deserving of it any longer but you kept telling me it wasn’t true until I did believe it,” Tears shone in her eyes as she touched his jaw, “You saved me from myself and from all the terrible things I felt about myself.  You made me see that they weren’t the truth.  Where I didn’t think you could ever love me again, you showed me that you loved me in ways I could have never imagined, despite what had happened to me.  On our wedding night, because of you, I felt completely pure, because nothing like what happened between us had ever happened to me before.  You could never hurt me, my love, and I know that with my entire heart.  Now you know it too.”

A tender smile crossed his face as he took her hand from his face and kissed her fingertips, “I love you so much more than you could possibly imagine, angel,” He whispered, moving to kiss her once more.  He was so blessed to have her, to be one with her for the rest of eternity.

Her dark eyes were shining as she looked up at him and urged him softly, “Show me.”

He smiled as a small chuckle escaped him, “For the rest of eternity, sweetheart.”