CHAPTER 7

Andrew waited until she had gotten settled with her head against his chest, before he pulled the blanket up around her.  He could feel the weariness that surrounded her and he took to simply stroking her hair, being careful not to hold her too tightly, lest she suddenly feel afraid.  His heart was nearly bursting with joy at the gift of having her in his arms to begin with, and he didn’t want to do anything to make the unavoidable happen sooner.

But it happened soon enough, just as she was drifting off to sleep and he felt it before her body ever reacted.  A split second later, Monica was trembling and he had felt her heartbeat quicken up against him.  He released her gently, waiting for her to move into the curled up position on the bed that he was sadly growing accostomed to, but this time it didn’t happen.  In fact, she was clutching his shirt tightly in her small hands, refusing to let him go, “It’s all right, angel,” He whispered, not wanting her to be considering his feelings while dealing with the night terrors she in no way could control.

Monica shook her head hard, even as she struggled to catch her breath, “Don’t let me go…”

His eyes widened for a second, before he cautiously wrapped his arms back around her, waiting for her to fight to get away from him.  But it appeared that she was fighting to stay right where she was, refusing to let them control the safety she felt in his arms.

It took a long time before the unbearable shaking began to subside, but through it all, Andrew spoke softly to her, his gentle hands running through her hair.  The effort had zapped the last of her energy and soon she was fast asleep, having won the first of what he knew would be many battles.  He had never loved her more.

Andrew must have fallen asleep at some point as well because when he next opened his eyes, it was daylight.  But the sky was gray with even darker clouds overhead and he felt a bit disappointed.  He wanted sunshine to surround Monica, even if she was too disheartened to get out of bed, and now he could only wonder if the rain outside would set the course of the day.  He hoped not.

Looking down, he realized that the little angel was awake though her thoughts were obviously miles away.  Four hours sleep had hardly done her justice, but he was thankful she at least had that much, and that she had remained in his embrace for them, “Angel?” Gently, he touched her cheek with his hand, feeling terrible when she started with a whispered cry, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” She whispered before her eyes moved back to the window.

It hit him then.  It had been raining the night of her attack and though she appeared to be watching it fall, he could now see that her haunted eyes were seeing things far beyond the rain.  Occasionally, she would flinch, as if feeling physical pain and Andrew strengthened his resolve.  Though he would force her to do nothing, he was going to make every effort to keep her distracted if he could.

“I think breakfast is in order,” He remarked softly, his voice pulling her away from the images in her mind as she looked up at him.  With her in nestled up against him the last few hours, he could feel how much weight she had lost and she was tiny creature to begin with.  They would start out small again if need be.

As she got up, he moved off the bed and to the window.  She was staring outside of it once more, seemingly trapped.  He closed the windows to block out the sound before pulling the blue curtains closed and then turning back to her as if he had done nothing out of the ordinary, “Why don’t you grab a shower first?  I’ll see if Alex has the makings for blueberry pancakes.”

Monica nodded her head, before she headed for the door, but then she stopped and turned back to him and spoke in a whisper, “Thank you.”  He had understood and for that she was forever grateful.

*****

Paul and Alex returned by midday as the rain continued outside and the agent was surprised to see Monica curled up on the sofa in the living room.  She looked exhausted and the painful expression had not left her eyes, but just to see her out of her room was a vast improvement and Paul had an inkling that Andrew was the reason that had happened.

“Hey!” Alex smiled brightly, though she was fairly certain that the little angel had not missed the glance that had been exchanged between Paul and Andrew.  She made her way over to the sofa to hug Monica, pleased when a small smile appeared on the angel’s lips. 

“I’ll help you in with the bags,” Andrew offered as he got up and turned to Paul.  He needed to know what the situation was, and he was not about to discuss it in front of Monica.

As soon as they had departed, Monica turned to Alex, her expression pensive, “You caught him.”

It wasn’t a question.  It was a statement and Alex had to wonder if Andrew had told her.  She couldn’t have imagined him doing so, but somehow, Monica knew, “Yes.  Did Andrew tell you?”

“Not in so many words,” She looked down at the quilt that she was wrapped up in, pulling at one of the threads, “He made mention of something last night and his hand…I could tell he had hit something or someone…”

“He broke the bastard’s jaw, honey.  I don’t think that Wi-.” But before she could continue in stating that Grady had not even seen Andrew’s anger coming, Monica stopped her with a hard shake of her head.

“I…I don’t want to know his name, please…”

Alex could tell that something more was upsetting her friend.  She was worrying her lower lip and there was a slight tremble in her hands, “Monica?”

“I won’t have to testify, right?  I mean, they did all that stuff at the hospital the night it happened,” The words came out in a rush of fear and when she looked up at Alex, there were tears in her eyes.

The agent drew in a deep breath, “Yes, they did, but for a conviction, honey, they’re going to need you.”

“I don’t understand…” Her voice trembled as she lowered her head once more.

“To put it in the simplest of terms, they have to know that you said ‘no’.” Alex reached across and laid her hand on top of the angel’s, feeling them shake beneath her.

“But I did…they took pictures…they saw the bruises…I’d of never said yes, Alex…”

“I know that, and you know that, and Paul, Andrew and Tess know that, but a jury doesn’t,” Her heart was breaking for the angel as she watched a tear slide down her cheek, “He needs to go to jail for a long time, Monica, and you are the only one who can make sure that happens.”

“I’ll have to tell them what happened?”

“He will have a defense attorney, yes, and you will be asked some hard questions,” Alex knew she had to be honest.  When this happened, the last thing she wanted was for Monica to be even more overwhelmed.

“I can’t…it was hard enough to tell Andrew…how can I tell a room full of people who will be judging whether or not I wanted him to…rape me…” Saying the word made her stomach clench as she felt the nausea returning.  A moment later she had bolted from the couch and down the hall.

“Monica! Wait…” Alex called after her but she knew it wouldn’t do any good. She sank to the sofa and slumped forward, elbows on her knees. She heard the bathroom door slam and flinched. No, she hadn’t wanted to lie to her, but there had to have been a gentler way to tell her.

Tess stepped out of the kitchen as she heard fast moving footsteps rush by. She turned just in time to watch Monica disappear into the bathroom. She moved to follow her, but a second later she heard the lock click, and then the sound of her little angel girl losing what little she’d had to eat that day. The wrinkles around her old eyes grew deeper as she leaned up against the wall. Each day she prayed for it to get easier for Monica, but so far it seemed that with every step she took forward she was thrown back at least three.

Looking across the hall she saw that Monica’s bed was still unmade and her clothes were draped over the chair. Well, at least she could do something to help. She could make the little angel more comfortable, if nothing else.

*****

“So he’s in jail now, right?” Andrew got right to the point as soon as he and Paul stepped outside the house. The rain was turning the landscape misty and soft, but Andrew was hoping that it would clear up for Monica’s sake.

“Yeah, he’s in jail. Well, in the hospital wing of the jail anyway. That was quite a punch, buddy. I hear they had to wire his jaw shut. They aren’t gonna be able to put him in with the general population for a couple of weeks.”

Andrew tried not to look as grimly pleased about that as he felt. “So they already had the arraignment?”

“Yep. First thing this morning. It really helps to know a judge as well as the DA,” Paul said with a wink. “I don’t know how I got anything done before I met Alex. They’re holding him without bail and the trial’s set to start in about a month.”

“A month?” Andrew knew what that meant. It meant that Monica had to be able to tell not just him, but a room full of strangers what that bastard had done to her. “Paul, that’s too soon. It’s been a week and she’s just started leaving her room!”

“I know, believe me, I know, but there isn’t anything we can do about it. Right to a speedy trial. That’s what it says… and trust me, his attorney is gonna be pushing for that. They know that the sooner it is the better chance they’ll have of bullying the victim…”

“Not victim!” Andrew shouted, turning on his friend. “Monica! We’re talking about Monica, not just one of the hundred cases you hear about every week!”

Paul dropped the bag he had been pulling out of the trunk and placed a hand on Andrew’s shoulder, not at all surprised when the angel shrugged it off and took a few steps away.

“I’m sorry. I know who we’re talking about, and trust me, she isn’t just another victim to me… or to Alex. We both love her… and we love you and Tess. You’re like our extended family. But nothing I can say or do will change this. The trial is going to start in a month, and if Monica can’t testify then this man will be released.”

Andrew glanced at him and then picked up the bag the agent had dropped. “Yeah. I know,” he said gruffly. “I know you love her, but I just don’t know if she’s going to be strong enough to do this… and I don’t know how she’ll live with herself if she doesn’t.” He closed the car trunk with only slightly more force than necessary and started up the path to the house, knowing that Paul would only be a few steps behind.

As soon as they entered the house, they saw Alex on the sofa and looked around the room for Monica.

“Alex, what’s wrong? Where’d Monica go?” Paul asked.

His wife looked up at them and her face was a picture of guilt. “She asked about Grady… and I told her.” She paused long enough to take a breath. “I told her about the trial and she ran out of here like a bat out of hell. I heard the bathroom door slam. I think she’s still there.”

The blond angel barely waited to hear the end of Alex’s sentence before he started down the hall.

“I should have known better… I shouldn’t have told her,” Alex berated herself.

“Sweetie, you didn’t know how she’d react, and she asked you. I don’t know about you, but I can’t lie to them,” he said with a slight grin, hoping to make her smile. “It’s almost like lying to God.”

Alex let out a little laugh, but then her sad eyes met Paul’s. “Yes, but there had to have been a better way. I…”

Paul knew that at least part of her guilt was still held over from the death of her friend, and he sat down on the sofa and slung his arm about her shoulders. “You have been good for her, baby. You, more than any of us, knew what she’d need. Don’t beat yourself up about this. You know she wouldn’t want that.”

“I suppose not.” She looked up as she heard footsteps coming back down the hallway, and was surprised when Andrew came into view.

“She’s not in the bathroom. Tess is in the bedroom and she says she didn’t even hear her leave. I’ve already checked all the closets.”

Alex glanced outside at where the rain continued to fall. “You don’t think she went outside?” she suggested, hoping that she was wrong.

A look of panic spread across Andrew’s face and he bolted to the back door. “Her shoes are gone!” he shouted, and before the two agents were even out of their seats they heard the door open, and Andrew shouting Monica’s name out into the rain.