CHAPTER 10

Paul was woken the next morning by the sound of rain beating against his window. Clouds had moved in overnight, and now they had opened up, pouring out everything they contained and turning the landscape into a grey and dismal place. He watched a single raindrop trickle down the glass, like a fat tadpole wriggling its way to the windowsill, and wondered at how the weather could match his mood so perfectly.

His mind inevitably turned to the events of the previous night. After Monica had departed for her room he had only lingered in the kitchen long enough to see the disappointed and frustrated look on his partner's face before stalking off to his own. He hadn't been able to sleep, however, and had spent long hours staring into the inky blackness and trying to make sense of his thoughts and feelings. He had promised himself that he wouldn't push her or overwhelm her with rules and precautions, but that was exactly what he had done. He had kept such a tight hold on her that it was a wonder she hadn't snapped days earlier. Exhaustion had eventually overcome his body, but now his thoughts took up right where they left off.

He gazed out the window at the low-lying fog that hovered above the fields, dreading the fact that that the bad weather was going to keep them all cooped up in the house. Rolling over, he looked at his door, knowing that Monica was probably lying awake in her own bed right across the hall.

He hated knowing that he had given her yet another reason to be upset, but he didn't seem to be able to control his protective instincts when it came to her. It was more than that, though; he couldn't seem to control his reaction to the possibility of her being in danger. The result was that he ended up saying and doing things that he knew only drove her more and more into herself and led her to take risks just to have a few moments to herself.

He thought of the exceedingly sad expression on her face as she told him that he couldn't possibly understand how she felt. He knew she was right, and he couldn't imagine being in her position, but she didn't know what he knew. She hadn't seen the things he had seen. Things that had taught him that any risk was too great and that there was no such thing as safe.

As he tried to convince himself that all of his current problems stemmed from that terrible knowledge, there was a small part that knew that wasn't true. The truth was that just as a simple smile from Monica could warm his heart, the idea of anything happening to her was enough to stop it. Pushing those feelings far into the darkest recesses of his heart, he rolled out of bed and let out a tired sigh. Unfortunately he couldn't hide in his room forever, and he doubted that she would be able to either.

He trudged into the kitchen and saw that Andrew was already there, sitting at the table and drinking a cup of coffee. Knowing that nothing that had happened the night before was his partner's fault he felt badly about the dirty looks he had thrown his way before going to bed.

"About last night…" he started to apologize.

Andrew held up a hand and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Paul. You were upset."

Paul let out a low groan as he sat down with his own coffee in hand. "Yeah… we'll see if Monica sees it that way," he said with regret.

"I think she'll understand more than you know," Andrew stated. "She knows your main concern is her safety."

"Hmph… but she thinks that I don't know what she's going through."

"Well do you? Really?" Andrew asked, raising one eyebrow.

"No, I don't, but I do know what happens when people in this situation get careless." He stared down into his coffee, studying his reflection in the dark liquid. "Believe me when I tell you that I'm not about to let that happen to her. Not her."

Andrew froze briefly, hearing the change in Paul’s tone and wondering if he should question it. He already had a nagging feeling that he knew what this was about, “I’m sure you haven’t let anything happen to the majority of the people you’ve protected, Paul.”

“That’s true,” He remarked quietly, still communing with his cup of coffee, “But she’s different, Andrew. There is something about her that makes me not only want to protect her, but need to protect her…” He hesitated as if wondering if he should share more or if he had already shared too much, “I’m just as anxious for this assignment to be over, because then…I can ask her out.”

It was by the grace of God alone that Andrew didn’t look as shocked as he felt. His mind was spinning and he knew that there was nothing he could say to the agent to dissuade him from his growing feelings for the little Irish angel, however, this was the last thing Monica needed. She was already guarding each word she said to him and to know the truth about what Paul was feeling, would only cause her to measure each word with him as well and overwhelmed would not begin to describe how that would make her feel at the moment. Struggling for words, Andrew managed to keep his voice level, “How do you know that there isn’t already someone in her life?”

“The only person she needed to explain her absence to was her friend, Tess,” Paul replied evenly, “If there was someone else, he would have been there or at the very least she would have called him,” He sighed softly before adding, “I know it is far too early to act upon what I feel, and she has enough on her plate already, but I can’t imagine losing her when all this is over.”

The angel nodded his head, at least able to understand that much. To lose Monica would be a terrible thing for him to bear and he wasn’t even sure he could. The little angel was a part of him. “I think it is a wise idea to not have this discussion with her now,” He stated carefully, watching as the agent nodded his head in agreement. Though he had nearly crossed a line with Paul a few days ago by choosing not to keep something from his friend, he knew that this was one thing he would keep to himself for the time being.

*****

Andrew had been right on one account and wrong on another.

When Monica awoke she was fully aware that her outing in the cool night air had left her with a nasty cold. That much was true. However, as far as it being the “last thing she needed” went, she couldn’t disagree more. It was an excuse to stay in bed and not face Paul and that was all she cared about at the moment.

She had dozed off and on all morning, and now her bleary eyes could just make out by looking at the clock on the nightstand that it was just past noon, and she still had no desire to rise and it had little to do with the pounding of her head or the scratchiness of her throat. After last night, she was in no hurry to be confronted by Paul again and her heart was still unbearably heavy with all the problems that rested upon it.

Though talking to Andrew had helped her a little, and she held a glimmer of hope that he would indeed find a way for them to be able to talk unsupervised, nothing was really resolved and the glimmer of light at the end of this particular tunnel seemed so far away. The entire situation left her feeling weary, and she closed her eyes once more, only wanting to sleep in self defense, but a soft knock on the door caused her to open her eyes as her best friend stuck his head in the room.

“You planning to sleep the day away?” He asked, a teasing glint in his green eyes as he saw her offer in return a faint smile of her own.

“Could I be so lucky?” Monica replied, tucking her hands under her cheek as she watched him enter the room and close the door behind him.

He had immediately detected the hoarseness of her voice as he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand instinctively moving to her forehead and feeling how warm she was, “You caught cold,” He stated as she nodded her head and smiled sheepishly, “Angel, what am I going to do with you?”

“Keep me, I hope,” She chided softly, hearing a chuckle emerge from him.

“I was getting worried when you didn’t get up after I brewed a fresh pot of coffee. It has your name written all over it.” He rested his hand on the bed on the other side of her small body.

“Hiding away in here all day didn’t sound like a half bad idea, to be honest,” She remarked wryly, “Where is Paul?”

“Checking the grounds, but I think he wants to talk to you,” Seeing her chagrined expression, he added reassuringly, “Though he isn’t happy about you leaving last night, he isn’t angry anymore, so you have nothing to fear. He only wants to keep you safe, Angel Girl, and you scared him last night. That was where his anger was coming from.”

“I know. I just couldn’t face it last night is all. Not with everything else I was feeling,” She explained, moving her hand to cover her mouth as she let out a dry cough.

“Alright, that’s the second time you’ve coughed,” Andrew said, narrowing his eyes and attempting to look stern. Unfortunately his teasing expression was more comical than anything else, and Monica went into a little series of coughs as she tried to keep herself from laughing.

“I’m sorry, Andrew,” she said, grinning at him from under her dark eyelashes.

“Sure you are… laughing at my best Tess imitation,” he said, unable to keep a smile from his own face.

“It was a very good one,” Monica tried to placate him.

“If it had been that good you would have trembled in fear, not laughed,” Andrew chuckled, “but that doesn’t matter, because even if I can’t look like Tess, I can still act like her.”

That statement did bring a look of trepidation to the Irish angel’s face and Andrew laughed again.

“Don’t look so scared, Angel Girl,” he said. “I’m talking about tea. People with colds get nice hot tea.”

“But I’m not a person, I’m an angel,” Monica said, tiny grin back in place.

“The same goes for angels with colds,” he replied, giving her hand a little pat. “So you just stay right there and I’ll go fix you some, and if you’re very good maybe I’ll even bring you a nice piece of toast.”

Monica stuck her tongue out at his attempt to be funny, but Andrew felt completely successful. She had smiled, and even joked with him… a definite improvement.

Paul entered the kitchen just as the blond angel was pouring the tea. He shook off his wet jacket and hung it up before walking further into the room and watching his partner’s actions.

“Tea?” he said. “What happened to the coffee?” He knew that Andrew had just brewed a fresh pot to entice Monica from her room.

“It looks like she caught a bit of a cold last night,” Andrew said. “This should be better for her throat.”

“She’s sick?” Paul repeated his partner’s words. “Does she need anything else? Medicine? A doctor.”

Andrew let out a brief smile although inwardly he was already wondering how long it would take before Paul’s feelings became known to the little angel.

“Tea should do the trick for now,” Andrew told him. “I told her you wanted to talk to her… maybe you should bring this in to her.”

“I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious she’s been hiding in there at least partially to avoid me. I don’t want to force anything…”

Andrew laid a friendly hand on Paul’s shoulder. “It’s alright. She knows you were just upset.”

“Alright,” Paul relented, “I guess it’s better to get it over with anyway.” He picked up the steaming cup of tea and headed to Monica’s room.

The door was part way open, but he knocked anyway. “Are you up for another visitor?” he asked.

Monica pushed herself into a sitting position and took a deep breath. “Of course,” she answered. “Please come in.”

He entered and quickly assessed the situation, noting her rumpled sheets and the flushed look on her face. Obviously it hadn’t been a particularly restful morning even if she had spent most of it sleeping.

“Andrew said this would help your cold,” he said as he thrust the cup towards her, somewhat awkwardly.

Monica could see that the man was suddenly unsure of what to say to her, and she knew that he was probably feeling a bit guilty about what he had said to her after her unscheduled trip to the barn.

“You could sit down for a minute,” she said softly, as she took the cup.

“Well… I really came in her to apolo--”

“Please don’t,” Monica interrupted. “You were right to be angry. I never should have gone out alone… at least not in the middle of the night,” she said with a tiny grin.

It was an infectious expression and Paul broke into a wide smile as he sat at the end of her bed. “I must admit, Monica… between the riding accident, and making yourself sick… usually we just have to protect our assignments from the bad guys, not from themselves,” he chuckled.

A slight blush rose to her flushed cheeks, “Well, I’ve been called ‘accident prone’ on several occasions,” She admitted, relieved that the tension between them seemed to be diminishing.

Paul grinned at her before his expression turned serious once more, “I do need to apologize for laying into you like that last night. I could tell you were already upset and I made matters worse and that was never my intention,” He saw her nod her head slowly and he continued, “But with that being said, and I’ll make the lecture brief,” He winked at her to soften the blow of his words, “You really do need to be more careful. Monica, if he had been out there someplace last night, there would have been nothing Andrew or I could have done and the thought of that is enough to keep me awake at night.”

She lowered her head for a moment, feeling terrible about the worry she had caused him when he had been so nice to her, “I am truly sorry, Paul.”

Tentatively, he laid a hand on her leg from atop the quilt, “I know you feel trapped and I am truly sorry for that. I can only imagine how that must feel for you and I wish that there was a better way to keep you safe, but there just isn’t.”

“I know that. I do.” She reassured him, raising her head once more to meet his eyes, “I won’t do it again; not without an escort.”

He nodded his head, his eyes showing his gratitude, “Maybe once you are feeling up to it, we can have an outing. There is a little town not far from here. It’s a bit touristy, plenty of little specialty shops and boutiques. I think you would enjoy it.”

Despite not feeling well, the angel’s face lit up in a smile that lit up Paul’s heart, “Really? We could really do that?”

Chuckling at the fact that she looked like a little girl on Christmas Eve, he nodded his head once more, “I think with a little planning, it can be arranged.”

Andrew stood in the doorway, a small grin on his face at her smile, despite the fact that Paul had been the one to put it there this time. He knew that the important thing was that it was there at all, “I found some cold medicine in the bathroom. It will probably knock you out for awhile, but the rest will do you good.”

“Yes, doctor,” Monica replied, her giggle only stopped by a fit of coughing, though she didn’t miss the look of concern in her best friend’s eyes.

“I need to go and make a few calls,” Paul stated as he rose to his feet, as he smiled down at the angel, “You rest up.”

“I will.” She promised before he left the room, leaving she and Andrew alone once more.

“Here you go, Angel Girl,” Andrew sat down on the edge of her bed once more and handed her the tablets and a glass of water, waiting until she had taken them to take the glass and set it back on the table, “Now, it’s time for you to lie down and get some sleep so this doesn’t get any worse and you can enjoy the field trip Paul is planning,” He smiled as she obediently laid back down and allowed him to pull the quilt snugly around her small form. His hand habitually reached to stroke her tangled hair as her dark eyes began to sleepily close.

“Thank you, for being here. For being there last night,” She murmured wearily.

“Angel, there is nowhere else I’d ever want to be,” He replied softly as she drifted off to sleep.