CHAPTER 28

Though the afternoon had been spent pleasantly, Monica more than “hardly” knew that there were other agents on the ranch. It wasn’t that she minded the men and women who were assigned to help keep her safe, but more that their presence stood as a constant reminder that there was still a man somewhere out there who was intent upon doing her harm. Therefore, the angel really wasn’t surprised that when night fell, she found herself feeling more than slightly skittish, despite her noble attempts not to show it.

What did take her by surprise was how completely unsettled she felt, as though the humid night air itself was closing in on her. She kept trying to tell herself that she was safe, that there wasn’t any possible way that McArthur could know where she was, but there had been several moments, when she had been sitting in the living room with Paul and Andrew, when her heart had welled up with such intense panic that she had to remind herself to breath. Try as she might, she couldn’t seem to shake the feeling, and not even the conversation and the kittens were much distracting her from her feelings of anxiety.

“Maybe tomorrow we can ride to the canyon,” Paul mused, knowing how much Monica had enjoyed the afternoon ride. Things had, for the most part, been comfortable between the two of them, though he found himself wondering if she had been working as hard as he had been to make that happen. He had been determined to keep his feelings for her to himself, though in those moments when the wind caught her hair and a peaceful smile had been playing upon her lips, he had still felt his heart beat a little faster.

“That sounds like a great idea, Paul,” Andrew replied, wondering once again if Monica was even paying attention to the conversation. To anyone else, it might seem that the little angel was watching Whiskers and Angel battling over the ball of yarn, but Andrew could just make out the look in her eyes, and it was an expression that more than worried him. He knew that she had plenty on her mind, but this feeling he was getting from her was enough to make him feel on edge, “What do you say, Monica?”

His question caused her to jerk her head up as she mentally rewound the conversation. Forcing a smile in Paul’s direction, she nodded her head, “That would be lovely.”

“Well, with that settled, I’m going to go and check in one last time with the troops to make sure all is well and then I’m headed to bed. I’ll see you both in the morning.”

The two angels bid the agent good night as Paul left the room and headed for the back door. As soon as he had rounded the corner, and was out of sight and earshot, Andrew turned his attention completely on his best friend, “Angel, are you all right?”

Hearing the urgency in his voice, Monica dropped the bit of her façade that she had been able to hold onto in front of Paul and turned haunted eyes to her friend. The look in them nearly took Andrew’s breath away and her words chilled him, “Andrew, I think…I think he knows I’m here…”

He blinked, trying to understand what it was she was trying to say, “Monica, that isn’t possible. Paul has taken every precaution to make sure that this place is secure and that McArthur has no idea of where you are.”

She shook her head hard, though she decided against telling him how very frightened she felt at the moment, “I can’t seem to shake this feeling that he knows.”

“Maybe it is just because of the other agents being here now, “ He rationalized, “Things don’t feel as normal as they did last night-.”

“No, that isn’t it,” She interrupted, her hands working nervously against the legs of her blue jeans.

“Then what, sweetie?”

“I don’t know!” Immediately, she looked horrified over the tone in which her words had been delivered and she dropped her gaze down to the floor and repeated more softly, “I don’t know.”

His concern quickly mounting with her outburst, Andrew moved from the chair to the floor to be closer to her. Whatever this was, it had her physically rattled and he tried to pinpoint when he had first noticed it tonight. Reaching out, he placed a finger under her chin and raised her head to meet his eyes once more, “Talk to me, Angel Girl.”

Her eyes searched his, looking for reassurance; something that would take away this sense of foreboding that was quickly consuming her, “I don’t know what it is and it may all be in my imagination, but I just feel like he knows where I am; that he’s out there somewhere, waiting. I’ve never felt this way before, not even after the cat or the flowers, but right now, something just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right in my heart.”

“When did you start feeling this way?” His voice was soft and soothing, though he felt anything but that after hearing her admission.

She shook her head again, obviously trying to remember, but the feeling that was now nearly suffocating her had grown so gradually, “After dinner sometime. I thought I was just tired and maybe that’s all it is, but it crept over me so suddenly and now it won’t let go.”

Andrew wrapped an arm around her thin shoulders, and pulled her close. “I can’t tell you why you’re feeling this way,” he said gently, “but I can tell you that none of us are going to let anything happen to you.”

“I know that, and I know that God is here with me too, and that I shouldn’t be so afraid. I’m an angel… I should feel perfectly safe… but I just can’t make my heart believe what my mind is saying.”

“Then stop trying, Monica. Yes, you are an angel, but you have been in human form for a long time now, and that has to be making you feel vulnerable. Don’t try to make yourself push your fear away. Instead, why don’t you concentrate on all of us who care about you and are dedicated to keeping you out of harm’s way… and that includes me and the Father.”

She looked up and some of the outright panic had drained from her features, but her eyes still held a pleading sort of helplessness that went straight to his heart. “I wasn’t going to ask,” she began, letting her gaze drop to the kitten who had climbed into her lap, “but do you think you could stay with me again tonight? I know you didn’t even get last night to yourself, but--”

“Don’t say another word.” He tightened his hold on her, noting how small and fragile she really was, and feeling the now familiar anger push itself forward. “You never, ever have to feel badly about asking me to help you… in any way. Understand?”

She nodded and tilted her face upwards again, a weak smile stretched across her pale features. “I’ll try to remember that, but I reserve the right to always be thankful.”

He smiled back and leaned in to kiss the top of her head. “Agreed. Now, let’s get the kittens and you tucked into bed, and I’ll be in as soon as I’m sure Paul is asleep.”

The Irish angel didn’t waste any time in getting herself ready for bed, and soon she was lying in her bed, the thin sheet feeling like hardly more than air on top of her, and the warm air bringing her ever closer to sleep. Physically she was exhausted, and ready to let dreams overtake her, but her mind was still going over every detail of the evening, trying to remember when she had begun to feel so anxious.

“Sleep comes faster when you actually close your eyes,” Andrew whispered, as he appeared at the foot of the bed. The warm glow that surrounded him brought a feeling of relief and peace to Monica’s heart and she smiled slightly and moved over so that he could sit next to her.

“I was just trying to remember if something happened to make me feel this way… maybe something I saw, or heard, or maybe the Father was talking to me.”

Andrew chuckled a little at that last supposition. “Monica, if He had something to tell you, I don’t think you’d have to be wondering what it was.”

“Yes… I know… I’m just…”

“You’re just trying to make sense of things, but sometimes they don’t make sense. McArthur could be outside right now,” he instantly regretted his words, as her eyes grew wide in terror, but he went on, “or he could be a thousand miles away. It doesn’t make any difference at all, because he’ll never get the chance to hurt you. If I have to stop him with my bare hands, then that’s what I’ll do.”

Monica had moved close to his side, and she had her head resting just above his heart. She could feel the tension in his body as he spoke, and a little chill ran down her spine.

“Andrew,” she spoke very calmly and quietly, never moving her head from its resting place, “I don’t want you doing anything that you will regret later. I don’t want you doing anything that goes against the wonderful angel that you are.”

He knew that she must be sensing the anger within his heart, and he wasn’t even surprised. Their hearts often seemed to beat with one rhythm, and he certainly knew when hers was troubled.

“I can honestly tell you, Angel Girl, that the only thing I could ever regret would be allowing something to happen to you that I could have prevented.”

“But Andrew, I’m just one angel, and angels can’t die, and you said yourself that the Father is watching over me as well.”

“There are no ‘buts’ in this situation, and you are much more than ‘just one angel’ to me, and you know it.” His tone was firm, and she knew better than to continue arguing. “I’m sorry,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “I didn’t tell you all that to give you one more thing to fret over.”

Monica’s eyes were still open and staring off into the darkness as she thought of what to say. “I just don’t like being the reason for you even contemplating such things,” she said slowly.

“You aren’t the reason, Monica. He is. Don’t ever forget that, okay?” He looked down at her and tenderly stroked her hair, hoping to soothe her to sleep.

She didn’t say anymore, and she did allow her eyelids to flutter closed, but she also said a special prayer before she drifted off. She prayed with all her heart that Andrew wouldn’t be anywhere near her when McArthur finally found her.

Monica’s eyes snapped open the second Andrew left her bedroom the following morning, her heart instantly knowing that she was alone once more. Despite his presence last night, sleep had been sporadic at best, and the two angels had several late night conversations, though Andrew had steered their discussions to Tess and to past assignments in order to try to keep her mind off her troubles and the little angel hadn’t had the heart to tell him that the diversion really wasn’t working.

The feelings of foreboding and dread were still with her and as she flung back the sheet, she found her hands to be shaking, though she elected to try to sum it up as being caused by lack of a good night’s sleep. A hot shower stood to make her feel a little more centered and she then spent some of the early morning time playing with the kittens, before deciding to head to the kitchen to see if anyone else was up yet. Though she enjoyed the time with her little charges, being alone was wearing on her and she knew she needed more of a diversion. She only wished she knew where these feelings of doom were coming from, but neither she nor Andrew seemed to have any answers.

As she exited her room, she left the door open, deciding to give the kittens the run of the house for a bit as she loved their natural curiosity. She adored watching them explore all of the little places she took for granted and especially delighted in their desire to attack inanimate objects, with their little tails switching back and forth as they crouched low to the ground, no more than little furballs with seemingly serious agendas.

The little angel smiled slightly at the thought as she walked down the long hallway, but a loud clamoring from the kitchen caused her to stop dead in her tracks as a scream escaped her before she could think about it. Though the noise ceased immediately, her heart felt as if it were in her throat as she pressed her small body up against the wall.

“Monica!” The sound of both Paul and Andrew’s voices had little effect on her as agent and angel bolted down the hallway, having heard her terrified scream.

Andrew’s eyes filled with compassion at the sight of his frightened best friend. Monica was trembling and small beads of sweats had appeared on her forehead and he instantly knew that the feelings from last night were still present. He could see it all too clearly as her breaths came in short panicked gasps.

“Monica, it’s all right,” Paul told her softly, seeing the obvious terror in her eyes. Reaching for her hands, his eyes grew wider as he felt how cold they were, and he held tightly to them, hoping the contact would help to calm her, “I dropped a pan in the kitchen, honey, that’s all.”

“Paul has already made rounds this morning, Monica,” Andrew interjected, longing to pull her close in order to hug away her fears, “Everything is fine,” He stated the last word quietly, yet firmly, wanting her to know that her feelings of McArthur being close were unfounded.

Monica nodded her head shakily, trying to calm herself down in order to get her heart beating at regular intervals once more, “I guess I’m not quite awake yet, “ she explained, trying to force a smile. “The noise just really startled me. I feel so silly…”

“There isn’t any reason to feel that way,” The older angel replied, shaking his head firmly, though he noticed she didn’t even have it in her at the moment to be embarrassed by what had happened and that in itself spoke volumes. When she had the nightmare back when this had all begun, she had been mortified when her scream had sent them running, knowing it was a dream. This time, despite her attempted smile, the raw fear was still in her brown eyes.

Realizing he was still holding onto Monica’s hands, Paul released them slowly and nodded his head in agreement, “Andrew is right. A noise like that this early in the morning would startle anyone, not to mention someone who has been through what you’ve been through.” Seeing she appeared a bit calmer, he smiled at her, “That noise was actually a sign that breakfast is about ready, so I hope you’re hungry.”

Somehow returning his smile, Monica turned to follow him down the hall, feeling Andrew’s eyes on her the entire time. She only hoped that after breakfast and maybe a ride, she would feel more like herself; or at least more like who she had become.

*****

Their late morning ride was cut short by threatening thunderstorms through the valley, sending the threesome galloping back to the ranch before the rains began. Paul had spent a good bit of the ride convincing Monica she was safe and that there was no possible way McArthur had any idea of their location, so the angel had done her best to squelch her anxiety over the situation.

By the time, the horses had been tended to, the winds had picked up considerably as the heavens opened up and rain began to fall furiously, pelting down on them as they began to run back towards the house.

“Looks like we have a bit of trouble,” Paul yelled above the storm as he looked towards the porch. The winds had all but ripped the screen door from its hinges and as they had left the backdoor open to allow the air to circulate through the house, one small black and white kitten was cowering on the porch, having ventured out into the storm.

“The kittens!” Monica cried out in dismay, her worry for them overshadowing all the other feelings she had been dwelling on that morning.

Andrew was quick to scoop up Sam, and as Paul and Monica reached the porch, the little angel immediately spotted Angel and Smokey over on the far side of the porch, as they vocalized their dismay and fear of the rain and thunder with frightened little mews. She rounded them up quickly and deposited them back inside of the house and was further frustrated to only find Whiskers inside after a thorough search.

Hurrying back into the kitchen where Andrew and Paul were trying to fix the screen door, she approached them worriedly, “Lucy is still missing. I’m going to check outside. I won’t be but a minute.”

“Craig is positioned near the stable,” Paul called to her, bolting to secure a wicker table that the wind had sent flying across the porch, “He’ll help you.”

Andrew felt a brief flicker of concern, wondering if he should accompany her, but Paul’s words earlier about her being safe echoed in his head and he knew that his going with her at the moment could have an adverse effect on any feeling of security that Paul had managed to instill in her once more. His eyes followed her briefly as she hurried down the steps and into the pouring down rain, her voice calling out to the kitten, before he returned his attention to the door.

Monica’s long hair stuck to her face and neck as she scoured the area for her missing charge, trying to decide where she would have hidden if she had been caught out in the rain. Immediately deciding that Lucy would have headed for shelter, the angel quickened her pace and slipped inside the stable.

Wiping water from her face, before running a hand through her already dripping hair, she called out for her kitten once more, “Lucy! It’s all right, baby, you can come out.”

Hearing a small mew from the far end of the stable, Monica’s face broke out into a smile as she ran towards the sound and scooped the very wet kitten up in her arms, “I was worried about you, little one,” She informed the cat, kissing the top of her head, before she turned around to head back to the door once again, though she took the time to check the stalls to make sure none of the horses were spooked by the storm.

A scream escaped her throat and was drowned out by the deafening thunder as she came to the third stall, and her blood ran cold while her hold on Lucy tightened. The first thing she saw was the blood before she recognized who it was coming from, and her heart instantly knew that Craig was dead, but as soon as the thought registered in her mind, she felt an arm wrap around her throat and the cold hard feel of steel pressed against her temple.