CHAPTER 30

“What the hell just happened?” Paul exclaimed, rushing over to where Monica had been sitting.

His mind couldn’t accept the fact that she had just disappeared, and it was equally confusing to realize that somehow Andrew knew more about what was going on then he did. He looked inside the stall where Craig’s body lay, and then back out at McArthur, and finally back at Andrew.

“I asked you a question!” he shouted. “What is going on here?”

Andrew stood up and stretched a placating hand towards the man, hoping to calm him down. “I don’t know if you’re really prepared to hear this, Paul, but God thinks that you are, and He certainly knows better than I.”

“God?” the skepticism in his voice was evident and he took a step back. “What do you mean, God? What are you talking about?”

“Paul,” he said calmly, “I am an angel, sent down here by God.” As soon as he said the words he felt the love of the Father working through him, His light encompassing both angel and man.

“You’re what?” Paul was still in shock and his eyes narrowed, no longer trusting what he saw but somehow knowing that it was real.

“I’m an angel, and so is Monica. She was on another assignment when she saw McArthur murder Josh. All along she wondered why she was still called to remain here, but she knew in her heart that she was the only person who could bring him to justice. I don’t think that this was what she envisioned, but God’s plan is known only to Him.”

Paul was reeling as he tried to take everything in. His partner was an angel… Monica was an angel… … and he had spent the last month falling in love with her. “Oh my God,” he gasped, wondering if there was a special place in hell reserved for those who hit on angels. “And she…”

Andrew knew exactly what Paul was thinking and cut him off before he could say another word. “She cares very deeply for you. There’s no shame in what you felt for her. In fact, knowing her the way I do, I think it’s pretty natural.” It seemed so strange to be smiling in a place that was still draped in the cloud of horror and death, but he couldn’t help it.

“And now you’ll be leaving too,” Paul said, woodenly.

“Yes. I’ll be needed elsewhere, and Monica will need me as well.” Andrew said, “but this has been about more than McArthur and Monica,” he continued. “This has been about you as well. It’s been about you being able to move on past the grief and bitterness that have held you for the past five years.”

“Yeah, move on to the arms of an angel,” Paul said self-deprecatingly.

“Paul, the important thing is that you were able to feel something again. Maybe that’s why Monica was sent in the first place. God loves you, Paul, and he doesn’t want you to spend your life alone. He wants you to be able to find love again and be happy. Believe me, Lauren doesn’t blame you for what happened to her, and she is with the Father now, and beyond any thoughts of pain or fear.”

“She’s happy there?” Paul asked hesitantly.

“Very happy, Paul, and she thinks of you often and she hears you whenever you think of her.”

The agent was silent for a moment, a million questions filling his mind as he tried to come to terms with what he was being told. It all seemed so far fetched, though there was no denying that his partner was lit up like a Christmas tree, “Monica…will she be all right?”

Andrew took a deep breath and let it out slowly, struggling with that question himself, “I hope so, Paul.”

“You sound uncertain. If she’s an angel…”

“You spent a great deal of time with her, Paul, and her caring and gentle nature was one of the reasons you fell in love with her in the first place. What she went through here went against everything she had ever believed.” Sadly his eyes rested briefly on Craig and then McArthur before speaking again. “She’s never seen this kind of violence and she has never had anyone want to hurt her before and unfortunately, and at least for the time being, these things have damaged who she is,” He frowned slightly, feeling as if he could better explain his friend as he delved deeper into the little angel’s psyche, “Monica could always take any human, no matter how terrible they may seem, and find the good that was hidden inside of them. It’s one of her gifts, Paul, and this time, she was unable to do that and what at first broke her heart, later terrified her. She saw too many things she was unable to comprehend.”

Paul nodded his head in understanding, wishing he could have done more to spare her from all she had seen over the past few weeks, “You know, now that I know the truth, I think that on some level, I’ve always known what she was. She’s different from anyone I’d ever met before.”

Andrew smiled as he shook his head slightly, “That goes for me as well, Paul. She’s really very special, but then again, God knew that when He created her.”

“So, this is it, I guess,” The agent muttered, his eyes staring down at the ground, “I won’t see her or you again.”

“I don’t know what the Father has planned,” Andrew admitted, watching as the agent raised his eyes once more, “but what I do know is that He loves you, Paul, and He and I both want to thank you for helping to protect one of His angels.”

“I believe that pleasure was all mine…I just wish we had met under better circumstances,” Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he managed a smile, “Will you tell her good-bye for me?”

“Of course. She cares about you very much, Paul, and one of her thoughts today, despite her own fear, was to keep you safe,” Andrew elected not to state that her other thought had been to keep him safe as well. He was still wrestling with that one as well as with some things he had discovered about himself. But for the moment, he pushed those thoughts away, unable to shake the feeling that Monica needed him.

Sensing the fact that Andrew was about to leave, Paul nodded his head, as if giving his consent. He could now so clearly see the connection between the two angels and now understood why it always seemed like it was Andrew’s arms Monica had fallen into. It was suddenly incredibly obvious how close the two of them were and the agent was glad that Andrew had been permitted to stay with her through this ordeal.

“Tell God I said ‘thanks’,” Paul offered, a small sheepish grin on his face.

Andrew returned the smile as he shook his head, “You can tell Him that one yourself.”

As soon as the words had been said, the angel who had been his partner vanished from the stable and Paul closed his eyes for a moment, offering up his own prayer of gratitude at having had the privilege of keeping angelic company for the last few weeks. He felt a new feeling fill his heart; one of peace that he could not recall the last time he had felt.

Slowly, he walked back to the house, knowing he still had a job to do and calls to make. But the agent was greeted at the door by four small furry bundles, who seemed to be looking at him questioningly, as if to ask what had become of their mother and sister.

Unable to hold back a chuckle, he shook his head as he scooped up the one Monica had named Angel and heard the contented purr that she emitted as soon as he held her close, “I guess the only question now is where am I going to keep four kittens.” He had already made the decision to keep them as it didn’t feel right to give them away…and of course there was always the hope that Monica would turn up again one day for a visit, “Lets go and find you guys some food, okay? Then I’ll take care of business.”

Still carrying Angel, and with Smokey, Sam and Whiskers scampering along at his feet, he walked into what had been Monica’s room. Filling the food dishes for them, he watched as they hungrily ate and as he stood back up, his eyes came to rest on the nightstand and he smiled. The décor was now missing one cat and kittens figurine.

*****

Tess watched with concern as Monica stood out on the deck, standing more still then the older angel could ever recall seeing her, though she could clearly sense the aura of sadness and grief that surrounded her young charge.

Monica had been brought immediately to the Father’s arms upon leaving the stable and at that moment peace had seemed to wash over her. But now, after a tearful reunion, the two angels had been sent back down to earth to a place selected by God, and she had seemed to withdraw into herself. The Irish angel seemed to be fighting demons that Tess could not see and the supervisor had decided to give Monica a little space as that was something that had been lacking in her existence the last few weeks.

“Hi, Tess.”

Tess turned around and smiled at Andrew, not missing the relief combined with sadness that was apparent in his greeting, “Its good to see you, baby,” She replied, hugging him tightly to herself for a few moments before reluctantly releasing him, “Are you all right, Angel Boy?”

“I think I will be,” he replied, his eyes turning to his best friend. “How is she?”

The older angel sighed and shook her head, “Only the Father knows, Andrew. What I know is that is not the same angel I visited a few weeks ago.”

“I know,” He sighed softly, his heart still feeling the turmoil in hers, “Let me go and try to talk to her.”

“I was hoping you’d say that, baby. I can’t deny that I’m worried about her as this assignment hit her hard.”

He laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder before he felt a gentle brush up against his leg and he smiled down at Lucy, “Are you going to let her keep the kitten?” His voice held a twinge of hope, knowing Tess’ position on animals.

“Of course I’m going to let her keep it,” Tess replied, as if there had never been any question about it and she hid a smile at the amusement in Andrew’s eyes.

He squeezed her shoulder before he opened the door and stepped out into the warm evening air. The area around the lake had come to life with the setting of the sun as the crickets sang and fireflies lit the air, but he didn’t take much time to notice those things as he approached his friend and gently wrapped his arms around her as he stood behind her.

Instinctively knowing who it was, Monica leaned back into the embrace as a small sob escaped her and she felt his arms tighten around her, “Is Paul okay?”

“Paul will be just fine, angel,” He told her firmly, kissing the top of her head, “He told me to tell you ‘good-bye’.” She nodded her head as she fell silent, but he was quick to break the quiet once more, “Talk to me, Monica. What’s going through that pretty head of yours?”

Reaching up, she linked her fingers through his, feeling a bit of relief at being able to do so without worrying about being discovered, “I’m different, Andrew. I’m not the same anymore…and…I’m afraid to be down here now…”

He tightened his hold on her and closed his eyes, able to feel her apprehension keeping her body so tense it was almost rigid. "Angel, you're safe here. You don't need to worry about anything. McArthur is gone, and you don't have to think about him ever again," he said, knowing that his words couldn't possibly take away the thoughts that still plagued her.

"I can't help it," she whispered. "It's as though I still expect him to appear out of thin air, and even though I know that can't happen, I keep thinking about how many other people out there are just like him."

He wanted to tell her that she was wrong. He wanted to make her forget everything that had happened and leave her with only the thoughts and memories of hope and inspiration. He sighed and looked upwards, praying to find the right words.

"Monica, I can't tell you that there aren't other evil people out there. That would be a lie, because they do exist, and I just wish that you had never had to find that out… at least not this way."

She turned in his arms and pressed her face against his chest. She didn't have any tears left but her voice was still choked with emotion. "I wish that too," she said. "I knew… I always knew… but I never believed… and now I can't go back… I can't go back to pretending and I don't know how to go forward."

Her words chilled his soul and even though McArthur was dead he still felt anger towards the man. "It will take time, but it will happen, and Tess and I will be right beside you the whole time."

"I just don't know how I can go on to my next assignment with all these feelings in my heart. I just want to go Home again. I want to stay there." Her last words were barely a whisper, and she almost hesitated to say them.

"That's how you feel right now, but those feelings will fade eventually," Andrew promised. "The Father knows you, Monica. He knows you inside and out, and He wouldn't have sent you here to heal if He didn't know that it was the best thing for you."

"The whole time I was there… going from place to place… I just prayed for it to end. I prayed to be able to leave and have my freedom back. It's over now, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like it will never be over."

Andrew longed to keep repeating that it would get better and that she would feel like herself again, but the words wouldn't come. They seemed so inadequate. How could he tell her that things would get better when he could only half-imagine the pain her heart and soul were in? Instead he simply held her close and ran his fingers through her hair, letting his eyes drift closed as he concentrated only on bringing her whatever comfort he could.

Epilogue

Paul rubbed his eyes tiredly as he hung up the telephone, knowing he had one more call to make. The Medical Examiner had come and gone, taking the bodies of McArthur and Craig to the morgue and the agent shook his head once more. He was sure that Craig’s family was by now being notified, and it pained him to know that a good man had died at the hands of a deranged lunatic.

A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as Sam leapt up on the desk, giving out a soft “mew” as he precariously stepped around the keyboard of the computer, but clearly demanded attention. Paul knew that already the kittens had adopted him as their new foster mother, seeming to know that Monica was now gone and he found himself surprisingly content with that fact. He had never been much of an animal person, other than loving a good ride on the farm, but these four kittens were special, and he knew it.

Giving the kitten a stroke, Paul then picked up the phone and dialed the number of the agency, asking to be patched through to the director in order to give him the news that the case was solved. He waited patiently, trying to finish typing up his report by maneuvering around Sam.

“Paul?” Mike Deatrich’s voice came over the line at long last, “What have you got for me?”

“McArthur is dead, Mike,” The agent related unable to keep the relief from his voice at finally being able to say those words, “I’ve already sent our witness on her way as without McArthur, there is no trial.”

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line for a moment, before Mike’s voice came through once more and Paul could hear the strain that was present in it, but he knew his friend and long time colleague had been feeling the stress of Douglas McArthur as much as they had been.

“Good job, Paul. He’s been on our list for a long time and the world will now be a much safer place without him. Is your witness all right?”

“Monica will be fine,” Paul replied, hoping that his words were true. He wanted to trust that just the simple fact that she was an angel would allow her to heal from her ordeal, but he couldn’t disregard Andrew’s concern for the little angel either, “I’m going to take a few days off.”

“You deserve them,” Mike replied, though Paul could tell that it sounded as if his friend had other things on his mind at the moment, “Let’s get together for drinks next week.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Paul told him, before another thought struck him, “Mike, listen. I think we have a real problem. Someone within the agency is leaking information as there is no possible way that McArthur could have tracked us to the ranch, especially not as quickly as he did. I think this is something we need to discuss.”

“Next week, buddy, but you’re right. This sounds as if it could be a real issue. Paul, I need to run to a meeting, but call me at the top of the week and we’ll set a time and place.”

Hanging up the telephone, Mike Deatrich shook his head in frustration, knowing only one thing for certain. There was no way in hell that Paul could find out about how McArthur had known where his witness had been and Mike unfortunately also knew that he would do everything in his power, regardless of what that entailed, to make sure he never did.

*****

When Monica woke the next morning, she was not at all surprised to see Andrew dozing in the chair beside her bed, but she was extremely grateful. She rolled over onto her side to face him fully and propped her head up on her hand. He had been so good to her and she didn’t know how she would ever be able to express just how thankful she was.

Both of her angelic friends had been wonderful the night before. Tess had cooked a lovely but simple meal, knowing that the Irish angel probably wouldn’t be up to eating much. Then the three of them had spread a blanket outside and just enjoyed being together again. The blanket had been Monica’s idea as she couldn’t seem to bear being shut inside anymore. Her weeks of confinement had made her all the more appreciative of the miracle of God’s creation and she didn’t want to waste any time enclosed within four walls when all of nature was surrounding them.

She had been very quiet, and she had recognized that Andrew and Tess filled in with idle chatter at times, and more serious comments at others, all aimed towards making her feel more comfortable. Her heart had felt so full with love for them and for the Father that it seemed impossible for anything else to touch it, but she couldn’t deny that there was more. Sometimes it was only a shadow at the very edges of her soul, and then there were moments when it passed over her like a wave, rushing past but leaving her breathless, and her heart pounding. She could hardly define it except as a horrible mix of the doubt and fear and even anger that had alternately consumed her during her ordeal.

When it had finally grown so late that they had to go inside to sleep Andrew had automatically gone to her room after all the lights were off. Monica had insisted that he didn’t need to stay with her, that he deserved a night of uninterrupted sleep, but now here he was, with the rising sun illuminating his handsome features, and her eyes shining like stars as she looked at him. He had obviously snuck back in during the night, and she was sure that his presence was the only thing that had allowed her to sleep peacefully.

He seemed to sense her watching him and his eyes slowly opened, their green depths taking in his surroundings. A peace fell over him as he remembered that they were safe in God’s hands and that the terrible assignment was over, and then his eyes settled on the little angel in front of him as a little grin spread across his features.

“I thought I told you that you didn’t need to stay,” she said, but her voice and face conveyed her gratitude.

“What can I say? Old habits die hard,” he joked lightly, and then moved to sit beside her on the bed. “I just wanted to be here in case you needed me.”

“I always need you,” she replied, “and I wish I had the words to tell you how much… and how much I love you.”

“You don’t need any words, Angel. Remember?” He tapped his heart. “I can feel it right in here.”

She nodded and he pulled her close, feeling like he couldn’t hug her enough. It was so nice to be able to do so without wondering who might be watching.

“You slept better last night,” he said. “No nightmares.”

“No nightmares,” she confirmed, “but I think that you being here helped.”

“Maybe so, but don’t forget the healing power of time and God’s love.”

She lowered her eyes, feeling suddenly unworthy, knowing that she still wasn’t feeling herself, and not knowing if she ever would. Andrew saw immediately what was going on in her head and lifted her chin gently.

“It’s not going to happen all in one day, sweetie… or even one week… but it will happen. It will.”

Monica felt the touch of God’s love in her heart at that moment, echoing Andrew’s words, and a very tiny smile sprang unbidden to her lips. “I know it will,” she said.

“And we’ll be with you the whole time.”

She nodded her head, her eyes clouding briefly before clearing, “I’m counting on that, you know.”

“You can always count on me, angel…always,” Andrew whispered, before tugging her back into his arms.

A peaceful silence surrounded them as Monica snuggled closer and closed her eyes, wondering if she would ever again feel safe in this world, other than when his arms were around her.