CHAPTER 8

As soon as Monica entered the house, she headed to the bathroom to retrieve the items she had mentioned before and then quickly returned to the kitchen to tend to Paul’s hand. Though it really was a small scratch, it gave the little angel great joy to be able to do something; anything for someone else. She took great care with cleaning the scratch and applying the ointment, thankfully missing the amused glances that were going back and forth between Andrew and Paul.

Once she had applied the bandage over the wound, Paul looked at her with mock seriousness in his blue eyes, "Is my prognosis good?"

Monica gave him a playful scowl that made him laugh and even Andrew chuckled as she replied with a hint of teasing in her Irish voice, "Seems as if you can still lead a full life," Throwing him a wink, he and Andrew both chuckled but they were interrupted by the ringing of the telephone.

"I’ve got it, Andrew," Paul remarked, heading to his study immediately.

"It’s nice to see you smile, Angel Girl," Andrew remarked softly, catching her off guard as she turned to face him.

A faint smile crossed her face as she met her eyes with his, "I’m trying, Andrew. I really am."

"I know, sweetie," He replied gently, "And I know it’s hard, but-."

"Damn it!" Paul’s voice sounded from the study along with the sound of what seemed to be him hitting the desk with his fist.

The two angels exchanged a glance with each other, before hurrying to the study themselves, both of them noting the furious expression on the agent’s face.

"Paul?" Andrew asked, his green eyes glimmering with concern.

Whirling around, Paul noticed Andrew and Monica and he struggled to maintain his composure enough to speak, "Andrew, I need to speak with you privately for a moment."

Andrew didn’t miss the way the little angel’s face fell upon hearing those words, as he watched her face flush with anger. He had a feeling this was not going to go over well.

"Does this have to do with me, Paul?" She asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

He was silent for a moment, before replying, "Monica, I need for you to excuse us for a minute."

His answer telling her all she needed to know, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, frustration eating at her. Paul knew something about the case and he didn’t want to tell her and though she was trying to be patient, all she felt at the moment was angry.

Walking into the kitchen, her hand automatically reached for the doorknob to go outside before she stopped herself and her suddenly out of control feelings caused tears to sting her eyes. The glass on the back door might as well have been bars, as she suddenly felt more caged then she had ever felt before in her entire existence. She could go nowhere by herself, not even outside to calm down, and she felt smothered. Suddenly she desperately missed the quiet moments alone with God’s creation; moments that allowed her to think things through, but those had been taken from her.

Staring out the window, only being able to look out at the fields from the inside, she felt the tears of frustration and hurt fall from her dark eyes.

*****

"What is this all about Paul?" Andrew demanded softly, not liking the fact that Monica wasn’t here to witness whatever it was the agent needed to share.

"Some over eager reporter apparently got a picture of Monica as she was being taken from the house that night…her face is all over the newspapers. If the image McArthur had of her had faded at all, his memory is now being refreshed."

"What?" the disbelief was clear in his voice and on his face. "How could they do that?" He knew that this would only make things even more difficult for Monica and anger and sadness warred for control of his emotions.

"Technically they weren't barred from printing her picture, but the reputable papers know enough not to risk it. Unfortunately the SOB who took the picture wasn’t from one of those papers and now they've all picked it up," Paul's fist pounded the desk again. He looked at his partner and saw that he looked just as angry as he himself was, if not more.

"So now what? They still don't know she's here, do they?" Andrew asked, thinking of how Monica was just beginning to settle down and actually find some small amount of joy in being on the farm.

Paul's eyes turned stubbornly hard. "No. We are not moving her. The last thing she needs right now is another upheaval," he said, echoing Andrew's thoughts.

"Do you want to tell her about this, or should I?"

"Neither," Paul replied tersely.

Andrew was taken aback by Paul's answer. "She's going to ask what happened. We can't just tell her it's nothing."

"Actually that's exactly what we're going to do. She doesn't need to know and she's not going to know."

"Paul…" Andrew tried to persuade him. He knew that there was no way he would be able to lie to his best friend.

"End of discussion." He glanced down at the bandage on his hand. "She's our assignment… and as nice as she may be, we can't forget why we're all here in the first place."

"I don't think any of us could possibly do that," Andrew said quietly, realizing that this was harder for the man than he thought.

"Yeah," Paul said with a short, sarcastic laugh. "You go back and check on her. I have to make some calls and try to do some damage control."

"Sure thing, Paul," Andrew headed out the door, but not before watching, with concern in his eyes, as the agent slumped into his chair and picked up the phone.

Andrew walked back into the kitchen quietly, not surprised to find Monica staring out the back door. Her hand was clutching the doorknob and he let out a sigh, knowing that all the little angel really wanted was to run as far from this situation as possible.

"Monica?" he said gently, feeling his heart clench when she turned her tear-filled eyes to meet his.

"What's going on?" She asked, her frustration currently shadowed by apprehension and outright fear. "Are we leaving?"

Andrew immediately picked up on all of her emotions, including the sorrow that even she wouldn't admit to. "Oh, no, angel. We're not going anywhere," he quickly crossed the room to stand beside her, wanting to wrap her in his arms but unable to with Paul right in the next room.

"But something happened," Monica said. "Something bad. What was it?"

He broke her gaze, not knowing exactly what to say. "Paul doesn't want you to know," he admitted.

"But you know!" She said. "You can tell me."

"Monica, he told me not to tell you. Please don't ask. You know I can't lie to you," his pleading eyes went straight to her tender heart.

She reached out and briefly touched his hand. "It's ok," she said at last. "I won't ask." She turned her attention back to the fields outside, not wanting him to see her distress.

Her efforts were in vain however, as even when he couldn't look into her eyes, he could tell how she was feeling. "Let's go outside for a bit," he said after a minute of watching her.

"Do you think that we could?" Monica asked, a little uncertain, but needing so badly to get out of the house and into nature.

"Paul's on the phone. I'll leave him a note," Andrew replied, almost as anxious to get out as she was. "I think a walk will do us both some good."

She nodded her head, still feeling on the verge of tears as she waited for him to write out the note. As he finished and then opened the back door for her, she all but darted outside, taking in deep breaths to try and calm herself. But much to her dismay, it didn’t seem to be helping much and she only found herself wanting to cry.

Andrew walked beside her in silence, seeing the struggle that was taking place in his friend. He could clearly sense her frustration and hurt and it pained his own heart to think that he had added to that by keeping something from her; something she deserved to know.

He waited until they were no longer in view of the house, before he reached for her hand and held it tightly, her fingers curling around his own, though she never looked up. He was willing to allow her these few minutes of silence, but he wasn’t willing to just let her allow this hurt to consume her, so after a few minutes, he spoke up, "Talk to me, Angel Girl." It wasn’t a demand, but only a gentle request.

The little angel swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears that threatened her eyes at bay, "I feel trapped, Andrew, like I’m in a cage and I hate it. You know I love being with you, but not even that is right at the moment. I have to watch everything I say to you and I can’t hug you when I want to…"

His heart broke at her words as she blinked and a tear made a shiny path down her pale face. To see her hurting like this was almost more than he could bear to see. He immediately stopped walking and pulled her into his arms, not surprised at all when she dissolved into tears.

Andrew held her tightly and in silence, knowing she needed the emotional release from all she was feeling at the moment. He simply rested his chin on the top of her head as he pressed her head against his chest, able to feel both the trembling of her shoulders and the aching of her heart with equal intensity. After a few moments, he responded softly to the things she had said with a simple, "I know."

"I’m sorry…" Monica uttered shakily, as she raised her head and drew in a shaky breath, "I didn’t mean to do that…"

"I think you needed to do that, honey," The older angel replied, meeting his eyes with hers as his hand moved to stroke her cheek, which was wet from her tears. He could so clearly see her sadness, her guilt, her frustration in those large brown eyes, and it only took him a split second to make a decision. He didn’t know if it would help her to do more damage, but he only knew that keeping something from her was not something he was willing to do, "Your picture is all over the papers today, Angel Girl," He said softly, hoping he hadn’t just made a mistake as he saw the shock in her expression.

"What? Andrew, how…?"

"A reporter must have taken it when you were leaving the house with Tess that night," He explained as gently as he could. He saw her dark eyes cloud over then clear as she pushed the emotions to the side once more, and though he didn’t like seeing her do that, he decided that for the moment he would let her handle this her way.

"Paul didn’t want me to know…" She stated softly.

"He didn’t want to upset you, but it seemed to be upsetting you just as much to not tell you anything when you knew something was wrong. I’ll let him know I took that matter into my hands and I’ll deal with him," He replied resolutely.

"This is never going to be over…" The little angel whispered dejectedly as she lowered her eyes.

"It will be over, angel," Andrew insisted, wishing he knew how to make up for this blow that none of them had been expecting.

Monica fell silent once more, and when she spoke up again, it was obvious that she had elected to switch gears as her emotions were no longer able to deal with the current situation any longer, "Do you want to see the kittens?"

It only took Andrew a moment to process what she was doing and he allowed her to take the lead, but if things got worse, he would not hesitate to force her to talk this out, "I’d love to, Angel," Reaching for her hand once more, he allowed her to lead him into the barn.

Andrew smiled as his friend pointed to the kittens, though they maintained a safe distance this time as mama cat was looking more than slightly defensive.

"Aren’t they sweet?" Monica whispered, a small, albeit sad smile on her face.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he replied warmly, "Yes, they are," He replied, all the while knowing that even the five adorable kittens didn’t hold a candle to the angel that constantly tugged on his heartstrings.

*****

"You told her?" Paul asked incredulously, his eyes holding a trace of anger as he faced his partner an hour later.

Andrew nodded his head, his expression set as he replied calmly, "She deserved to know the truth. Though the truth upset her, she was already upset to begin with."

"She didn’t need that additional stress, Andrew-."

"If it concerned her and her safety she had as much of a right to know as you and I did. She needs to know what she is up against; not that the two people who are responsible for keeping her safe and that she needs to trust are holding out on her," He stated adamantly, unwilling to back down from having done what he knew was right.

"Well I guess it's a little late for me to do anything about it now," Paul replied, sarcasm and a touch of irritation still in his voice. "When she wakes up screaming I'll let you deal with that too," he couldn't resist a final jab before heading out of the room.

"I plan on it," Andrew whispered under his breath as he watched Paul's retreating back and shook his head.

He and Paul had enjoyed a very good relationship and he hoped that Paul would be able to move past his anger. If the two of them were at odds it certainly wouldn't help Monica's mood. She was feeling responsible for everything as it was, and it wouldn't take much of a leap for her to take on the guilt for their fight as well.

Unbeknownst to either of them, the little angel had been waiting in the next room and had heard just about every word. She waited until she heard Paul's door close and then followed him down the hall. Once she found herself standing outside his room she felt some of her initial courage fade, but she lifted her hand and knocked lightly on the door.

"Yeah?" his voice came from the other side.

"It's me… Monica," she said, as if there could somehow be a question as to her identity after she started speaking. "Could I come in for a minute?"

There was a pause, and she expected him to send her away, but then he answered her, "Yeah, ok, come on in."

His voice sounded tired, and when she opened the door and looked at him she could see that weariness reflected in his face. She could sense that it wasn't so much physical fatigue as it was mental and emotional and she knew that as much as he claimed to enjoy his job there had to be times when it was far from pleasant. This felt like one of those times.

"I heard you talking to Andrew," she said as she sat down at the foot of the bed.

Paul set down the book he had been reading and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Monica. You didn't need to hear that on top of everything else."

"It's alright," she assured him. "I'm sorry that the two of you are fighting about me," she continued, eyes focused on her clenched hands.

"We aren't fighting about you." He let out a deep breath, along with some of his irritation. "Andrew and I had a difference of opinion and I guess he won since you know everything."

"I asked him to tell me," she said, in defense of her friend. "He wasn't going to… he told me you didn't think I needed to know. Please don't blame him for telling me. Blame me if you have to… I shouldn't have asked in the first place."

Paul saw the troubled look on her face even as she tried to mask it with stubborn insistence. The last thing he wanted was for her to get all worked up about something that, when he really thought about it, didn't amount to much of anything. He felt the last of his anger melt away, replaced by a desire to see the woman before him let out just a tiny smile.

"Hey, now," he said soothingly. "No one's to blame. Andrew was right… you did deserve to know. Anyway, I should have known better than to try to keep it from you, knowing how stubborn you can be." He let out a low chuckle and was relieved to see the nervous expression fade from Monica's face.

"I prefer to think of it as knowing my mind," she said with a glint in her eye.

Paul was waiting for the smile to follow, but it never did, and he inwardly cursed himself for expecting one and for caring so much about not getting one. "Why don't we head on into the kitchen and I'll see about fixing some lunch," he said as he swung his legs off the bed.

"That sounds lovely," Monica said, relief filling her heart, and when she smiled she saw a matching glow enter Paul's eyes.