CHAPTER 11

Friday 8:24am

Alex smiled, for the first time in her entire life, feeling somewhat shy, “Thank you,” She said softly, giving his hand a squeeze. She had the feeling that things were changing between them and that only meant one thing. They had to find this antidote.

She looked back to her brother, “Rob, my friend…Monica…she was kidnapped with me. Do you think Pauline would…”

“Sis, you don’t even have to ask. I already told her she would have two customers,” He winked at her, “I promised her a good tip.”

Subconsciously, Alex had wrapped her fingers around Paul’s hand. She liked the way his hand felt in hers. His fingers were a bit rough, but strong and something about the man just instilled a confidence and a calm that she was having trouble feeling right now, “Thanks, Rob.”

Rob’s attention moved to Paul, seeing the bruise on the man’s jaw, “I’m sorry about the other day.”

“No real harm done,” Paul assured him, “Besides, given the circumstances, it was well warranted.”

“I’m just glad you found her. Now, tell me what I can do from my end of things.”

Paul considered his offer, realizing how valuable it could be, “We’re composing a photo of what Jackson looks like now that he has changed his appearance…”

“Consider it done. It will be front page news by the afternoon.” He was determined to stay involved. His sister’s life was on the line and Devin Jackson needed to be found. He would pull every string he had if necessary.

*****

Monica closed her eyes, wishing she had never eaten. Andrew had taken her dishes back down to the kitchen and only then did she allow her head to rest back against her pillows as she took deep breathes to try to calm her stomach, but nothing seemed to be working.

“Not feeling well, baby?”

“Tess!” The little angel’s head shot up and she winced slightly at the pain in her head, “It’s so good to see you!”

Taking the chair that Andrew had beside of the bed, the older angel reached across for her hand, “It’s good to see you too, Angel Girl. I only wish you felt better.”

“I’m all right, Tess,” She stated softly, her voice still hoarse after her ordeal in the barn. She saw her supervisor’s eyebrows raise in question and she lowered her dark eyes.

“Trusting the Father, baby, never meant being a martyr,” She advised gently, reaching out to tilt the younger angel’s chin to meet her eyes.

Monica bit her lip, trying to ward off tears, “I suppose I really don’t feel all that well, but no one needs to hear an angel complaining about it. I can’t think about it either, not while I have so much work to do with Alex.”

The glassy look in her charge’s eyes, caused Tess to draw her into the safety of her arms, “You’re doing just fine with Alex, baby. She is questioning things, even though she may not be vocalizing them. You’ve started the wheels turning. However, denying what you are feeling is not going to change any of that.”

“I’m scared, Tess,” She whispered after a moment, allowing a few tears to come, “I don’t know what this is going to feel like, for me or for Alex and there is nothing anyone can do to help us.”

“God is always helping you, Monica but it is still all right to feel afraid as long as you don’t let it become all you know.”

“What if they don’t find him in time, Tess? Paul will lose Alex and Andrew…I don’t want him to have to go through this. Sometimes I think he feels what I feel more than I do,” She uttered tearfully.

“There is nothing you can do to stop Andrew from worrying about you and he needs to turn this over to the Father as well. Right now, what I think you need is a bit more sleep,” but her comment was cut off by a stubborn shake of Monica’s head.

“No, I’d rather stay awake,” Truth be told, she was terrified of sleeping and not being aware of what was happening to her or to Alex. She wasn’t about to risk going to sleep and not waking up due to whatever was in her angelic system.

Before Tess could argue, there was a soft knock at the door, before Paul stuck his head inside, “We’re on a break and I just wanted to check on you, honey.”

Pulling away from Tess, the little angel wiped hastily at her eyes as she managed a smile, “I’m glad you did.”

Tess sighed softly as she rose to her feet, “I’ll leave you two alone to talk.”

“You’ve been crying,” The agent observed after the older angel had departed and he was seated on the bed beside of the angel.

“I’m fine, Paul, really,” Monica protested softly. He had enough on his plate at the moment and she didn’t want to add to it.

“This is me you’re talking to, little angel,” He grinned at her as he took her hand into his own, “One of your ever loyal protectors and I want to help, even if it is as simple as protecting you from your thoughts.” Noticing she didn’t comment, he continued gently, “We’re going to find him, honey. I promise you that. You saved me in all the ways that mattered a year ago. Now it’s my turn to return the favor.”

Brown eyes peered up at him through dark lashes, “You’re in love with Alex.”

He felt his face flush at the statement at the comment that seemed to have come out of nowhere, “I’m in like,” He grinned with a chuckle and a shake of his head, “We can save love for a little while yet.”

Monica smiled and gently touched his hand.  “She’s a good person.”

“I know,” he replied, with a smile of his own, “and I guess that now that you’re on the scene I don’t have to worry about getting her to believe in God.”

Monica laughed ruefully.  “I don’t know.  Right now I think I can use all the help I can get in that area.”

Paul rolled his eyes.  “No, I don’t think you need any assistance.  Just take a look at exhibit A here.  If you could get through my five layers of straight stubbornness, you can get through to anyone.”

The little angel laughed.  At times she had felt like she would never be able to convince Paul to trust in God, even after he knew of His existence as a fact.  Now she was able to look back on those times and just concentrate on the lovely memories they had together, but yes, he had definitely been a challenge.  But she had been given two chances with him, and a lot of time.  Now time was her enemy.

The agent saw the curtain draw over her features and he tilted her face up to look at him.  “Everything’s going to work out just fine, Monica… and by the way, that’s supposed to be your line,” he finished with a twitch of the lips and a raised eyebrow.

“I know that things will go the way they are meant to, but I would feel better if Alex would listen to me sooner rather than later.”

Paul chuckled.  “Well, you and me both!”

“How is she doing?”  Monica wondered if she was feeling the same headache and nausea.

“She’s holding up fine… walking around and ordering everyone around… so pretty normal.”

Monica nodded.

Paul lowered his voice.  “But I see her eyes.  She’s hurting.”

The angel heard the pain in his voice.  It sounded just like Andrew’s.  “You’re remembering Lauren,” she guessed.

“Hard not to,” he admitted.  “At least that was sudden… once that bullet was in the air there was nothing I could do.  Now this feels like some test I have to pass in order to keep her.”

“You know it’s not.”

“Yeah.  I keep sneaking away to talk to God and it settles me down.”

“He was with me when I slept,” Monica told him.  “It made waking up seem not as bad.”

Paul leaned forward and kissed Monica on the forehead.

“What was that for?”

“For sticking with it despite how obstinate I was.  If I didn’t have my faith right now, I don’t think I could get through this… at least not without punching my fist through a wall every half hour.”

A little laugh escaped from between her lips, and her eyes were bright.  “I’m so glad that I stuck with it too… but you know there was no way I was going to give up.  You may act stubborn, but Andrew says I’ve got a will of steel,” she said as she made face that was more cute than determined.

“Believe me, I can tell,” he agreed quickly.  The smile faded slowly and then, “I know I said I’ve been going off by myself,” he said slowly, “but if you wouldn’t mind…”

Monica’s eyes widened.  “Of course not!”  She pushed herself forward and he quickly helped her and took her hands in his.  She glanced into his face quickly and then they both closed their eyes.  “Father,” she began, “You know that we’re going through a very trying time right now.  You know what has happened and we know that it has saddened You.  We’re holding onto Your strength right now, but sometimes we are still overcome with fear and anger.  Please, when those times come, be with us and hold us up.  We are trusting you with everything and we know that You will be with us always.”

She was silent for a moment and both she and Paul felt a sense of peace and calm wash over them.  They opened their eyes slowly and smiled at each other.  It didn’t solve all of their problems, but now they both felt more prepared to deal with them.

Outside the bedroom door, Alex stood, holding her breath.  She hadn’t been able to move when she heard the last part of the conversation, followed by their prayer.  The tone of Monica’s voice was so gentle and trusting, and there was even a trace of that in Paul’s when he asked.  It brought a lump to her throat.  They were so sure and so pure in their belief, and it seemed to give them both comfort.  She bit her lower lip, wondering why it was that she couldn’t bring herself to have such faith.  For that brief moment she wished that she could.

She took a deep breath, willing the pain in her head to recede.  “Knock, knock,” she said softly as she pushed open the door.

Paul turned around as she entered and his mouth nearly opened in surprise.  Pauline had done a wonderful job.  Her once ragged hair was cut into a neat bob that hit just at her jaw.  It was thick and had a little bounce to it along with a natural wave.  She felt a blush rising to her cheeks as Paul stared at her without speaking.

“Monica… if you’re feeling up to it Pauline is all ready for you.”

The angel smiled, both at the thought of getting her hair cut and at the reaction she saw taking place between her two friends.  “I’m up for it,” she said, struggling only slightly to disentangle her legs from the covers.

“Let me help you,” Paul insisted.

“Really,” she said as she looked up at him, her eyes speaking to him.  “I’m fine.”

He nodded very briefly and stepped out of her way.  He wasn’t sure how long she was going to remain ‘fine’, and he wasn’t about to hinder her.

*****

Monica felt both better and worse after the hair cut. Physically, Pauline had done wonders, evening out her hair to just above her shoulders. The auburn locks now possessed more body and her hair flipped up ever so subtly on the ends. Pauline had added in a few layers and her head now felt much lighter which was a bit of a relief, judging by how badly it was now pounding.

She slowly headed downstairs, feeling unsteady on her feet all of a sudden, but wanting to find Andrew. As she descended the last step, she leaned against the wall and closed her dark eyes, willing the pain in her head to just go away.

“Hey, hey, Angel,” Andrew’s soft voice caused her eyes to open and he frowned at the pain that was present there. He wrapped his arm around her waist to support her as he led her into the living room, feeling how heavily her slight frame leaned against him, though he didn’t miss the grateful, though weak smile she managed for him.

Paul gave a low whistle as she came into the room, managing to mask the concern he felt over her hurting. He knew Alex was feeling it too, but as a highly trained agent, she was so far able to disguise it fairly well. Monica, on the other hand, though trying to hide it, was unable to deny how she felt at the moment. “Pauline sure did a nice job, but then again, she had such lovely canvases to work with,” he winked and was rewarded with a smile as Andrew led the little angel to a sofa.

“Thank you, Paul, but Pauline really deserves all the credit,” Monica stated softly, waiting until Andrew sat down as well, so she could lean into him. He was making a silent fuss, knowing how much she didn’t like the attention, as he covered her with a quilt before wrapping his arms around her, “I guess if you are ever protecting me again, you won’t have to worry about it waving around like a flag.”

Andrew heard the trace of sadness in her voice and he dipped his head to her ear, “You look beautiful, angel. Your shorter hair suits your spunk if you ask me.”

Her eyes glistened with happy tears at his words, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” He smiled at her tenderly as he felt her forehead. She was still very warm and he then frowned, “Why didn’t you tell me before you weren’t feeling well? What is hurting you?”

She gave a tiny sigh, “My head mostly… and my stomach is rather upset.” She looked up as Alex walked slowly into the room and Monica could see her own symptoms reflected in the agent’s light blue eyes.

“Maybe tea will help,” Paul offered as he rose to his feet, “Let me make you both a cup.” He knew that tea would not really solve anything, but he was desperate enough to try.

“I’ll help,” Andrew offered, knowing Monica had wanted to speak to Alex and the opportunity had just presented itself. He moved carefully, placing a pillow against the arm of the sofa for her head and pulling the quilt up more snugly around her. He rested a hand against her cheek, “I won’t be long, angel.”

Monica watched them leave before looking over at Alex, “How are you feeling?”

“About the same as you, unfortunately,” She sighed with a disgusted shake of her head, “But I keep ignoring it, hoping it will go away,” She fell silent for a moment before meeting the smaller woman’s eyes, “I overheard you and Paul praying.”

Monica’s eyes widened slightly as she said a silent prayer of thanks for God’s impeccable timing. She wasn’t too sure of how to respond to the comment though, so she simply nodded and waited to see if Alex would continue.

“You seem to have a…peace, that I can’t begin to understand.”

“That peace comes from God, Alex,” The angel replied steadily, temporarily forgetting that she wasn’t feeling all that well, “It comes with trust in Him.”

“Monica, there is a poisonous chemical running through your veins. How can you trust that God is going to keep you safe from that?” The agent’s expression was skeptical as she awaited an answer.

“Because I know that whether I live or whether I die, God is going to take care of me. Trusting Him doesn’t do away with the fear I feel. I am afraid. I’m afraid of what lies ahead in the next few days, and how badly I’m going to feel. I’m afraid of what toll that will take on Andrew and Paul, because they care about me. But what I’m not afraid of is dying, because if He chooses for that to happen, He will be right there with me, just as He is now.”

“But why doesn’t He just cure you? He obviously has the power to do that-.”

“Yes. He does. But His plan for me is greater than I can fathom. If He chooses for me to suffer, it is part of His plan. I know that plan is perfect and I accept it.” Yes, she accepted it, she just wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Paul has that peace too,” Alex observed, her eyes flitting briefly towards the kitchen.

“Yes, but he hasn’t always. When I met Paul, he was a lot like you. He didn’t want to trust anyone other than himself, especially after losing Lauren.”

“But you changed his mind.” She was guessing, but she had a feeling it was true.

“God changed his heart,” Monica corrected gently, “And first, Paul had to let Him in.” Still seeing doubt in the agent’s eyes, Monica summoned her waning strength and continued. “Alex, this thing that was done to us; it’s bigger than you or I.  It’s bigger than Andrew or Paul or the entire FBI, but if it is not God’s will for us to die, a cure will be found, with or without catching the man who did it to begin with.”

Alex smiled ruefully, “I don’t except these kinds of things easily, Monica. I need time to think about it. It’s a big risk.”

“You take those every day in your job. Imagine the peace you would find at not having to take them alone.”