CHAPTER 14

The small brick rancher was surrounded by FBI agents when Paul, Andrew and Alex arrived. The twenty minute drive had been quiet as the threesome had been lost in their own thoughts. Paul kept glancing at Alex every minute or so, trying to decipher how she was feeling. He had a hunch that she was running off pure adrenaline, not permitting her body to break down until the antidote could be recovered and he found himself praying constantly that Jackson really did have it. He couldn’t bear to lose her now that he had just found her and they were beginning to admit the feelings they had for each other.

He glanced in the rearview mirror to the angel, seeing the great sadness and determination that was in Andrew’s eyes. Andrew had told him quietly that Monica seemed to be starting to fade, the poison working more quickly on her angelic system and Paul had not missed the tremendous pain in his eyes when he had said those words. Paul knew that God would take of Monica, and even Alex as she was starting to come around, but to watch them both suffering was nearly intolerable.

They got out of the car quickly and Paul laid a gentle hand on Alex’s shoulder, “Why don’t you wait here? You’re not feeling all that well…” He could see the pain in her eyes, but she was already shaking her head.

“I want in on bringing this bastard down, Paul,” Her voice was determined though she refrained from saying all that she was feeling. Not only had this bastard hurt her and Monica, but in the past, Paul as well and as she came to know more and more about her partner and the way she felt about him, she found that fact unforgiveable.

He briefly looked as if he might argue, but then nodded his head, “All right, but stay behind us, please?”

“That I can do,” She consented, knowing with the way she was feeling she did not want to be the first one to face Jackson. She couldn’t afford a mistake, and neither could Monica.

Andrew was walking back in their direction having just spoken to one of the other agents, “They have the house surrounded…he won’t be getting out if he is indeed in there.”

Paul nodded his head, expression set in grave determination, “All right then. Let’s move.”

Breaking the door in only took a matter of seconds and Paul’s eyes scanned the foyer and living area for any signs of Devin Jackson. The house was remarkably tidy and not at all what he would have imagined, but he gave it little thought as he motioned to Andrew and Alex that all was clear. His heart was racing as he offered up prayer after prayer that the man was indeed here.

They proceeded carefully, guns drawn, covering each other around every corner. It was only when they reached the outskirts of the kitchen did the voice of the man that Paul had hated for four years caused him to look up with raging eyes.

“Well, well, well, Agent Gatlin. I’ve been expecting you.”

Andrew looked at the man who had caused so much pain and he felt his heart nearly stop. Jackson was looking remarkably comfortable as he faced them, a small glass vial in his hand which he held precariously above the linoleum floor. One wrong move, one gunshot, and it would shatter to the ground and with it the chances of Monica and Alex recovering.

“Alex, you’re looking a little under the weather,” Jackson remarked, with a small satisfied smile, “Not feeling well, dear?”

Her face burned red with anger as her hand tightened on the gun she held, “Hand it over, Devin,” She uttered, trying to contain her fury, “And I might let you live.”

He laughed, the sound echoing off the walls, “You might let me live, Alex? I’m the one holding what you want and I assure you, neither you nor I will be living through the week.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Paul growled. It was taking everything in him to not strangle the man with his bare hands. He had not laid eyes on him since his murder trial for killing Lauren and he felt those memories washing over him painfully.

“You’re in love with her, Agent Gatlin,” Devin remarked calmly as his eyes met with the agent, “I know your taste in women. Smart, beautiful and unfortunately, dead. Even your little mousy witness that you managed to save fits your tastes and I can only assume that she is not feeling up to par or she would be here as well.”

Andrew’s hands clenched into fists as his green eyes burned with fury. He knew that the man before him neither knew nor spoke truth, but to hear the bravest little soul he knew be referred to in that way enraged him.

“I suppose this is what you are after,” Devin continued, holding up the delicate vial so it caught the light from the sun, the glare nearly blinding them for a split second, “You’re hoping to be able to save them, Paul, but let me ease your mind. That will not be happening.”

Paul’s mind was racing as his eyes rested on the vial, knowing he had to find a way to get it, no matter the cost, “We can work out a deal with the D.A. Just give me the damn antidote and you’ll do less time.”

“Groveling doesn’t become you, agent,” He shook his head in mock disappointment, “Nor does it do you any good. You see, I’m not going back to prison. I’ve spent four years in that hell so going back is non-negotiable. No, what I want is to take you down with me. You’ll kill me, but Alex and Monica will also die, slowly and painfully.”

“Fine, you won’t go to jail. I’ll get you off,” He was lying. As soon as he had that vial, he planned on putting a bullet through the bastard’s head and ending this once and for all. He had been denied that privilege when Lauren had died. He would not be denied again.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” He replied calmly, continuing to hold the antidote up at a frightening level, “You know that is outside of your domain, Paul.”

Alex was blinking back tears, refusing to cry in front of this animal, but her heart was breaking. The situation was hopeless. He was not going to turn what she needed over to them to spare his own life and in turn she and Monica would also die. She closed her eyes briefly, offering up silently what was so foreign to her, “God…I’m not sure what I believe yet, but I’m trying. Please, spare my life. Spare Monica’s life. Give Paul the peace he needs and deserves. Find a way.”

As she opened her eyes, she watched as if in slow motion, Devin Jackson released the vial from his hands and a cry escaped her lips as it shattered to the floor, the glass splintering into hundreds of pieces, and taking with it the only thing that could stop the poison from running through her veins.

“Damn you!” Paul’s outburst was so angry and so pain-filled, Alex flinched and she could barely see through the tears in her eyes. She blinked to clear them, seeing the raw agony in her partner’s eyes and glancing at Andrew, she saw he had closed his eyes, though his face was taut with anguish.

She hadn’t even realized she had raised her gun nor that her finger had tightened on the trigger until the impact of the shot nearly sent her stumbling backwards in her weakened state. She was just able to watch as the bullet caught Jackson in the chest, throwing him back up against the counter, where he seemed suspended for just a moment before his body crashed to the floor. She knew he was dead from where she stood and she felt the smallest sliver of satisfaction run through her before her eyelids fluttered and she slumped bonelessly to the floor.

*****
Paul sat in the backseat of the car this time, Alex cradled in his lap, as his fingers brushed tenderly through her hair. He kept telling himself that it could not end this way, that she could not die, but her breathing was labored and he knew his earlier assumptions had been correct. She had been pushing herself, just like she always did and in that moment of defeat, her body had finally ignored her demands. He was praying and willing her wake up, just so he could talk to her one more time before that became an impossibility.

Andrew had not uttered a sound as he drove the car back to the townhouse, though he was clutching the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. He only knew he had to go back and tell his dearest friend that they had failed, though he had no idea of how they would have won as Jackson had already made up his mind. But now, Monica would have to experience death and painfully at that. It was almost more than he could bear.

Alex’s eyes fluttered briefly as a small sigh escaped her. She could feel the soothing motion of fingers in her hair and despite how terrible she felt at the moment, she wished she could suspend the moment in time indefinitely. She had always considered Paul’s hands to be remarkably strong, but now they touched her with a gentleness she didn’t know he possessed and she wearily opened her blue eyes.

“Alex,” he said softly as he touched the side of her face.  “Welcome back.”  Calloused fingers stroked her flushed skin, and she somehow managed a weak smile as she struggled to cover his hand with her own.

“I’m a tough chick,” she replied, then winced as they went over bump and her aching muscles tensed. He held her tighter to buffer her and she bit her lip to keep her tears hidden. She wasn’t sure if they were triggered by the pain or by Paul’s affection. “I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on,” she admitted in a voice he could barely hear.

“No!” his harshness startled her. “Don’t even think like that. This isn’t over yet.  It isn’t.  We’ll keep working it.  We’ll find something.  We’ll tear that damn house upside down if we have to.  But you’ve got to stay strong for a little while longer. I don’t want to hear you talking about giving up.” His eyes were boring into hers, filled with pain and anger and desperation.

“I don’t want to give up… I don’t.”

“Good. That’s more like it.” He hugged her close and allowed himself to brush an almost nonexistent kiss across her brow.

“I killed him,” she said several minutes later, eyes staring blankly out the window.

“He deserved to die.”

“I didn’t plan it… it just happened… I saw that puddle on the floor, and your face, and Andrew’s face… I saw my life slipping into the cracks in the floor…”

“Shh. Alex, stop. You need your strength for more important things.” They went over another bump and she let out an involuntary sound that went straight to his heart. He wanted to raise Devin Jackson from the dead just so that he could kill him again more painfully. “We’re almost home, sweetheart, just a little bit further.”

Turning her head to look up into his face, her eyes met his and she felt a bit more of her heart open up to his. “Could you say that again?” she asked, surprised at how she suddenly didn’t mind showing him the side of herself that she rarely revealed.

“We’re almost home,” he repeated clearly, but she shook her head and he swallowed hard and bent his head to kiss her lips. “Sweetheart,” he murmured into her ear. “You can close your eyes. I’m not letting you go. I’ll be strong enough for both of us if I have to be.”

They arrived back at the townhouse less than five minutes later, but Alex had already slipped into unconsciousness and Paul silently carried her up to her room and tucked her into the bed.  Tess watched him and felt herself wondering, not for the first time, when this was all going to end.  She had been speaking to God almost continuously, but His only reply had been to wait.  It was enough to let her know that He was watching over them, but not enough to ease her anxious heart.  Monica’s breathing had become labored in the hours since Andrew and the agents had left, and she hadn’t woken up since saying good-bye to her dearest friend.

“You didn’t get it baby?” Tess asked as Andrew slowly walked up the stairs.  It was an unnecessary question.  The answer was written all over his face.

“No.  He was there, but just to taunt us.  He had the antidote right in his hand, Tess.  I almost could have reached out and grabbed it.  But he wanted Paul to suffer.  He wanted Monica and Alex to suffer.  I will never understand people like that, Tess.  He had no regard for life.  None.” He shook his head as if trying to fathom such ignorance and depravity.

“You keep saying talking in the past tense, Andrew.  What happened to him?  Where is he?”

Andrew looked Tess square in the face, and unflinchingly answered, “Alex shot him through the heart just before she passed out, and I wish it had been me.”

“Don’t talk that way.  You know that isn’t right, no matter what the circumstance.  I’m sure that when it’s all over it will even weigh heavily on Alex’s mind.”

“It isn’t right.  It isn’t God’s will.  I keep telling myself that, but then I see his snide face, staring at us.  Mocking us.  He already put Paul through hell once, but it wasn’t enough for him.  And I’m supposed to have pity on him?  Leave the judgement to God?  You know how hard it has been for me to control my anger, but what I’m feeling isn’t anger now.  It’s disappointment and disbelief.  He took numerous lives.  People that I had to escort home.  God can judge him, but I will never pity him.  He deserved exactly what he got.”

“But it still hasn’t helped the girls,” Tess reminded him sadly.

Andrew said nothing.  Tess was right.  The grim satisfaction he got from knowing that Devin Jackson would never hurt another human being was tempered by the fact that even with him dead, Monica and Alex were still suffering.  He refused to think of them as dying.  That wasn’t going to happen.  That couldn’t happen.  He clenched his jaw before looking down the hallway.

“Did she wake up while I was gone?”

“No, baby.  I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be in with her if anything comes up,” were his last words as he walked to her room, shoulders slumped and hands jammed into his pockets.

*****

A delicate hand found its way outside the covers and reached for Paul as he stood up.  “Please don’t go yet.”

Paul looked down into Alex’s eyes, surprised but grateful to see her awake.  “I was just getting a chair.  I’m not going to leave.”

She seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.  “Do you know if they found anything yet?  How long was I out?”

“It’s only been a few minutes since we got back.  I haven’t heard word yet.”  He grabbed onto her hand and held it tightly.  “What are you thinking, Alex?”

She looked at him briefly and then blinked quickly and stared up at the ceiling.  “You told me not to think.”

He closed his eyes and kissed her hand.  “No… I know… but…”

“I want more time,” she whispered, cutting him off.

“You’ll have it.  I swear you will.”

“When I was in that house… I prayed that God would spare me… and Monica.  I guess it was selfish, but I thought, you know, maybe it would work.  Maybe He was really listening.  Then all I heard was that glass shattering.  Did He not hear me?  Doesn’t He care?  Is He even up there?”

“Alex, I know you’re having a hard time believing, but trust me.  He is more real than anything in this life.  He heard you.  Please just try to believe.”

“I’m trying… I really am.”  Her eyes were almost closed and Paul gently rubbed her hand between his.

“Let yourself sleep now.  I’m not going anywhere, and I won’t leave you alone.”

“That’s good to know,” She whispered, before completely closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.