CHAPTER 15

Andrew sat alongside Monica’s bed, watching each agonizing breath she managed to take into her lungs. The effort she seemed to be putting forth was so hard to watch, while at the same time, he loved her even more for it. He reached for her hand, feeling the coldness of it as he held it tenderly in his own. Running his thumb across the back of her hand, he marveled at how small it was and he wondered how one little angel could possess so much courage when he could barely contain his own anger.

“Andrew?” the sound was but a whisper and not even all that clear and his jaw clenched at the fact that soon she would be unable to speak at all, “Did you find him? Is Alex all right?”

Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed it softly as he looked into her eyes. They were clouded with pain she was trying to hide, but her hopefulness was still there as well, “No baby,” He whispered to her, “We weren’t able to get it,” He left it at that, not wanting to burden her with details when she had so much to contend with as it was.

Monica blinked as if trying to understand, “How is she?”

He wanted to lie. He wanted to tell her Alex was fine, but he knew that he couldn’t, “She isn’t doing all that well, angel. Please, try to rest. You need to save your strength.”

But she refused to be silenced. She knew she didn’t have much time and there were things she needed to know while she could still ask the questions, “Has she accepted God yet?”

“Monica, please,” His other hand reached to run his fingers through her hair, but her eyes were pleading, “I think she is close, angel, but not there yet.”

She closed her eyes, taking in a shallow breath, “I need to talk to her one more time.”

“Sweetheart, I think she is sleeping…”

“Andrew…please…” She hesitated to state the truth, knowing he was doing his best to deny it, “I…I don’t have a lot of time…”

He closed his eyes, unable to fathom that God would allow this to happen to her, to either she or Alex…to Paul…to him, “Let me go talk to Paul,” He said softly, as he stood up and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“Thank you,” Monica whispered, wishing she had the strength to squeeze his hand, “I love you.”

He was blinking back tears as he walked to Alex’s room, laying a soft knock on the door before pushing it open. Alex was indeed asleep, but Paul looked up at him through worried eyes.

“How is she?” The agent asked, though the expression on Andrew’s face told him enough.

“She wants to talk to Alex one more time,” He explained, voice thick with emotion, “Every breath she takes is an effort but she is insisting. Maybe I should have tried to talk her out of it, but…”

Paul nodded his head at Andrew’s helpless expression. He understood all too well, “You can’t deny her, Andrew. Get her in here. I’ll wake Alex.”

The angel returned several minutes later with Monica cradled tenderly in his arms as Alex was just starting to come around. Paul looked up and felt sick at how deathly pale the little angel was, but he did notice that her tired eyes were alert. Stepping over to her, he laid a gentle kiss on her cheek, “Thank you, sweetheart.”

She looked up at him, her quiet voice strained, “Paul…you’re going to be all right…” She needed to remind him, just in case things continued along the path in which they were moving, “Either way.”

His expression clouded briefly as he nodded his head, “You and I have been through too much together, Monica, for me to ever doubt you…but I can still pray for a happy ending.”

“I want that too…”

Alex felt her stomach clench at the sight of Monica, knowing that in a matter of hours, she would probably look just as badly. She watched as Andrew sat down in the chair near the bed, so he could support the weakened angel in his arms, “How are you doing?” She knew it was a terrible question to ask but she was even more surprised at the answer.

“I’m okay…but I need to talk to you…and I need for you to trust me…” Monica felt Andrew’s arms tighten around her as she silently prayed for strength to say what needed to be said.

“Not a problem, honey, as I think we are now in some exclusive club,” Alex joked softly. She felt Paul’s hand wrap around her own and she sensed his seriousness.

“At the house, Alex…God heard your prayer…” Monica watched the agent’s eyes widen and knew her next thought would be that Paul had told her, “You told Him that….you were trying to believe…you asked Him to spare us…you asked Him to give Paul peace…He heard you…”

Paul felt a tinge of moisture in his eyes. Not only had Alex prayed, but she had prayed for him and despite everything that fact warmed his heart.

“How..how do you know that?” Alex didn’t often find herself awestruck, but this was one of those moments.

“I can’t explain it all now…” Monica replied, “But that was what you asked for, and no matter what happens…those things will happen…but the hard part is what you have to do now…trust Him…”

“How can you say that? How do you know we are going to find the antidote?”

“I don’t know…but if you trust Him, Alex, He will spare you…He will give Paul peace…” The angel faltered slightly, trying to draw in another breath as the effort to talk was exhausting, “You’ve been trained to look for hard evidence…something you can see…that you can trust…but sometimes you have to rely on instincts alone…because you can feel it is the truth and sometimes you don’t find out until later that those instincts have paid off…isn’t that right?”

“Of course, but…”

“Then trust Him now…your heart wants to, but your mind is stopping you just short of doing it…you take risks all the time…but now, you have to take the greatest risk you have ever taken…and the one that will positively pay off in the end…” Monica closed her eyes wearily, feeling Andrew kiss the top of her head as his love filled her heart.

“She’s right,” Paul whispered, seeing that Monica had tired and he had promised to be her voice if that time came, “I felt the same way at one point, sweetheart, before Monica convinced me to let go of that ledge I was clinging onto. There have been no regrets since that time.”

Alex looked at him, then over to Monica, who had opened her eyes once more. Yes, it was a risk, but she was running out of time. She had nothing left to lose. The antidote was gone and she was dying and if she did die, she still wanted that peace for Paul.

Closing her eyes, she gave a silent consent; a promise to trust and she felt a peace fill her heart that she had never imagined before. She was still a little uncertain about the objectivity of it, but for now, it was good enough. She was still afraid, but suddenly she didn’t feel quite so alone.

Monica closed her eyes in relief, needing to sleep, but she forced herself to open them once more to gaze up at her dearest friend, only now showing him some of the fear she was feeling, “Stay with me?”

“Always, baby,” He whispered and then his heart nearly leapt out of his chest as she went completely limp in his arms.

Alex’s eyes widened in fear and Paul was instantly standing, but Andrew was quick to alleviate their fear and his as well, “She’s breathing…she’s breathing….”

“Paul?”

The agent looked up as another one of the FBI agents who had been working with him stuck his head in the door, “What is it?”

“The guys down at the prison have a lead…they know what poison he used…they’re trying to get it here, but it’s out of the country…”

“How long, Mills?” He dreaded the answer. They were running out of time.

He shook his head, “Twenty-four hours maybe…”

“Tell them to cut that time in half…do whatever it takes.”

He watched as Andrew silently carried Monica out of the room and in his heart he wondered if she had even twelve hours left.  The other agent hurried back down the hall and they heard him jogging down the stairs.  Part of Paul wanted to be right there with him, but a larger part never wanted to leave Alex’s side.  The other agents could handle it.  She needed him more.

“Just a little while longer, sweetheart,” he told her, repeating the word that had brought her to tears earlier.

“Monica… Monica’s not going to make it, is she?”  Alex scanned Paul’s face, looking for the truth.

“She’s stronger than she looks.  She’ll pull through,” he replied, although even he was beginning to have his doubts.  He didn’t know if she would die, exactly, but it was obvious that her human form was breaking down.

Alex’s jaw tightened but she refused to cry.  Instead she reached out for Paul’s hand and was filled with a sense of security when he immediately grabbed it and held it tightly.  He told her to try to rest, but she only seemed to be able to keep her eyes shut for a few minutes at a time.  The nausea was back along with dizziness, and when she closed her eyes it felt as if she was on a boat in very rough seas.

“Please go check on her,” she said suddenly, needing to know that the smaller woman was still all right.

“Andrew is with her.  She’s in good hands.”

“Please?  I need to know for sure.”

Paul knew what she was really asking.  She needed to know what was happening because she needed to be able to prepare herself.  “I’ll be right back,” he said as he gave her hand a squeeze.

The door to Monica’s temporary bedroom was closed and Paul knocked lightly before opening it.  He wasn’t surprised to see Andrew sitting up in the bed with Monica still in his arms, and covered with the thick comforter.  The angel looked up, and the look in his eyes made Paul hesitate to ask how she was doing.

“Alex wanted me to check on her,” he said helplessly.

“I don’t think she’s going to wake up again,” Andrew said, his voice rough and choked sounding.

“Andrew…”

“No… it’s all right.  I keep telling myself that God isn’t going to just let her die… that he’ll turn her back to her true form before that happens, and at least this way she isn’t in pain anymore.”

Paul could see how hard it was for Andrew to convince himself of those things, but he tried to believe them as well.  How could an angel die?  Her soul was already inextricably linked to God’s.  Andrew was right.  At least she wasn’t suffering.  Yet at the same time he prayed that the angel’s theory wouldn’t be put to the test.

Looking down into Monica’s face, Andrew smiled slightly.  “She’s never been a quitter, this one,” he said.  “She wanted to see Alex again, and I think she knew her job was over the moment Alex opened herself up to God.”

“Yeah.  And she didn’t even need to resort to glowing,” Paul struggled to lighten the mood.  “She must get extra points for that.”  He forced a chuckle, but it was cut short by a loud crashing sound from down the hall.

“Paul!” Alex’s scream was almost inhuman and the agent bolted from the room faster than he had ever moved.

“Alex!” he was calling her name before he even reached her door and he practically ripped it from its hinges as he flung it open.

The dark-haired woman was collapsed on the floor, surrounded by the shattered remains of the lamp from the bedside table.  Her whole body was trembling, but it was her eyes that forced his gaze.  They held absolute fear.  He was beside her and lifting her up as she murmured desperately.

“My… my legs… I thought I was gonna throw up… I just needed to get to the bathroom… my legs… I can’t walk… Oh God…” she clung to him when he tried to tuck her in and he ended up sitting much as Andrew was with Monica.

“You’re all right,” he tried to sooth her.  “Calm down, sweetie.  Calm down.”  His words were in direct opposition to the way he was feeling.  “Just a little while longer.”

“This is how Monica feels,” she whimpered, “It’s getting harder to breathe…”

“You’re going to get through this.  Listen to me.  You’re tough.  You’re strong.  This isn’t going to beat you.”

“I did what she asked.  I’m putting all my trust in Him,” her voice was getting fainter and he knew she was fighting to stay awake.  “If she believes… if you all believe… you can’t all be wrong…”

“No, Alex.  We aren’t wrong.  Relax.  He’s watching over you.”

“But Monica… she’s so much worse… she’ll never last…” the tears finally broke free and Paul hastily wiped them away, knowing how she hated them.

“Like I said, sweetie… she’s a lot tougher than she looks.”  He looked upwards and sent his own prayer to the Father.  A prayer that come morning they would all be able to breathe easier and rejoice in His saving grace.