CHAPTER 16

“Did she eat everything?” Andrew asked, standing as the agent walked into the room.

“Just about. She says she doesn’t like lima beans,” Paul said with a grin as he motioned to the small pile of green that remained on the plate.

“Hmm. Good to know. Next time, no beans,” Andrew replied as he took the tray from Paul.

They were both a little surprised when Alex rose from her place at the table and walked to the hall. “I’m just going to give you boys a little time,” she said with a wink. “I’m sure Monica could do with some girl talk.”

She headed up the stairs, leaving Paul and Andrew to stare at one another.

“So.” Paul started.

“So?” Andrew wasn’t exactly sure how to reply and Paul let out a long breath as he sat down in Alex’s abandoned chair.

“I’ve cleared the air with Monica, so I figure I’d better do the same with you.”

Andrew waved his hand in protest. “Oh, It’s all right, Paul,” he said, hoping that God saw that as more of an inadmission than a lie.

“Buddy, I think we both know that isn’t really true,” he said seriously.

“All right. Maybe it isn’t,” the angel admitted.

“You’ve been pretty pissed at me ever since I flippantly remarked that Monica was bound to be okay… after all, she’s an angel.

“Yeah, something like that,” Andrew muttered.

“I can only plead stupidity. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking saying that. I’ve seen what’s happened to Monica in the past. I know first-hand how much she can be hurt, not only physically but emotionally.”

“Yes,” Andrew agreed, his face slightly hardened, “she’s very sensitive.”

“And clearly I’m not,” Paul remarked. “But I’m trying to get better. Trust me, I won’t be using her angelic status, or yours either for that matter, as a crutch or a ‘get out of pain free’ card,” he continued, referring to the old Monopoly game he had spent hours playing as a young boy.

“Sometimes I think she can be hurt more than others,” Andrew said. “She’s so willing to take things on for the people around her.”

“Yeah, and that’s exactly how I took advantage of her.”

“Yes, it is.”

Paul could see that Andrew was still harboring annoyance at the very least, but he was hopeful that the angel would forgive him. “I already apologized to her for that and now I’m apologizing to you,” he said. “I put Monica’s well-being in jeopardy just because, as you said, I ‘was too much of a chicken shit coward’ to face my own problems.

Andrew smirked at hearing his own words used again. He hadn’t exactly been thinking too clearly at the time, and had certainly shown. “As long as it doesn’t happen again, I think we can adopt a truce,” he replied.

“Good to hear,” Paul said as he thrust his hand out and gave Andrew’s a shake. “She’s second only to Alex in my eyes,” he said quietly. “I may not be too deserving at the moment, but if there’s still an open position as her second protector, I’d love to reapply.”

“Not a problem,” Andrew said with a grin, happy to feel his emotions sliding back into their proper places. “I know she wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Nor would I,” Paul agreed, returning his grin.  He felt more than a little relieved to have things feeling normal once more between the two of them, and to finally have all his bridges mended.  He had certainly nearly burned enough of them.

The sound of the telephone ringing brought him to his feet as he answered it and Andrew watched as Paul’s face changed from surprise, to anger and then sadness.  He hung it up without saying anymore than “hello” and the angel had a feeling that his friend had not been given the opportunity to say anything else.  No sooner did he hang it up, did it ring again, and Paul looked at it with something akin to dread.

“Get the paper, Paul,” Andrew instructed as he rose to his feet as well, “Let me handle the phone.”  He already knew what this was all about.  Rob’s story had hit.  People were angry and they now had someone to direct that anger towards.

“Thanks, buddy,” Paul muttered as he hurried to the front door.  Opening it, he grabbed the paper quickly before closing and locking the door once more.  His eyes skimmed the article in acceptance.  Rob had been honest, but had cast no blame, relating the situation exactly as Paul had told it to him.  In his heart, he knew that he in no way could have stopped what had happened last week, though he wished he could have.  Even if he had shared their knowledge with the rest of the bureau, with the public, the bombings still would have occurred.  Rob had even stated that fact more or less, but the agent knew it would make no difference to the people who were angry and hurting.

The phone rang again and he hurried back to the kitchen.  He could see anger in Andrew’s eyes and he knew that the second call had been more of the anger and profanity that the first had entailed and he certainly didn’t expect the third one to be any different.  Before the angel could reach for the phone once more, Paul shut off the ringer as well as the answering machine.

“My boss and any family has my cell number,” He explained, though he had a feeling Andrew didn’t require any explaination.

“I guess this is about what you expected,” Andrew remarked, shaking his head in diguest.

“I guess it is,” Paul sounded a bit defeated and he was surprised to feel his friend’s hand on his shoulder.

“You did all you could and you didn’t back away from the truth, Paul.  Those are the things that matter to God, and to Alex.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

The ringing of his cell phone caused him to only give Andrew a thankful nod as he pulled it from the clip on his belt and answered, “Hello?…Walt….yeah, I saw it too…”

Andrew watched sadly as his friend walked out of the kitchen.  He had a feeling what this call could entail and he said a silent prayer for both Paul and Alex.  The agency was a big part of Paul’s life and though Andrew was certain that Paul no longer saw it as the biggest part of his life, it would still be a hard blow to lose his job over something he had been unable to change, just because people were pissed off.  The ones they should be angry with were the ones who had done the bombing, not the man who would have given his life to stop it had he been able to.

It was only minutes later that Paul returned to the kitchen and the angel could clearly see the conflicting emotions on his face as he waited for his friend to speak.

Paul ran a hand through his hair, trying to decide where to begin, “Well, the news is not entirely bad.  I’m still employed, but I do get the benefit of a little unpaid vacation for awhile.”

“They fucking suspended you?”

It was Alex’s voice that caused them both to turn around and Paul took a step closer to her, “Alex, it’s all right…”

“What the hell did Rob write?” She demanded as she picked the paper, her hands trembling with anger, “There was nothing you could have done to stop it!  What the fuck does Walter want from you?  Blood?”

“Baby, calm down,” Paul placed his hands on her shoulders, feeling the way she was trembling with fury, “Let me explain what happened.  Walt didn’t want to do it, but the city is demanding he do something.  Rob has already set up a follow up interview with Walt and that will help smooth things over, but the best thing right now is for me to not be here.”

“Here?” Andrew frowned, unsure of what Paul meant entirely.

Pulling Alex close, he sighed heavily, “Damn it, Andrew, I don’t even want to ask this of you but…by morning our front lawn is going to be crawling with reporters and they aren’t going to go away anytime soon. Walter is holding a private plane at the local airport for us.  I can fly us to the farm and would like you and Monica to come along as well.  I know it’s asking a lot to move her…hell, she just fucking got here today and you can stay here if you want to,” He shook his head, hating the situation, “but you won’t have much peace, I’m afraid.”  He looked at his friend regretfully, and was surprised to see compassion in Andrew’s eyes.

“It’s fine, Paul and of course we’ll come.  Monica will be fine.  I assume we’ll be leaving soon?” Seeing Paul nod his head, he continued, “I’ll help her to get ready.”

As Andrew left the kitchen, Alex wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck and pulled him closer, “I’m so sorry about this, Paul.”

Pulling away to gaze into her eyes, he smiled, “Alex, I’m fine.  Actually this was a lot better than I expected as I had prepared myself to lose my job, but Walter knows we didn’t have enough to go on.  Besides, in all honesty, I’m rather looking forward to it.  You’ll be off until your ribs completely heal and I’m rather looking forward to spending the time at the farm…with you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she smiled, “Really?”

“Of course, really.  We work too damn much anyway and I wouldn’t want to be going to work with you at home.  Walter only suspended me until you are well enough to go back, so it works out perfectly,” He grinned at her, “I couldn’t be more pleased with this break.”

She kissed him gently and then pressed her forehead to his, “I do love you, Gatlin.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” He replied, amazed by how light his heart suddenly felt, despite what had just happened in his professional life.  But Monica had been right.  God and family came first and he knew that God was always with him.  He had righted the problems between himself and Alex as well as those he had with Andrew and Monica and now everything that truly mattered to him felt perfect.

*****

“What happened to not letting me out of bed for the foreseeable future?” Monica teased as Andrew walked back and forth from dresser to bed packing the things that had appeared there since their arrival.

“Monica…” his voice sounded very weary.

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to make you smile.”

“I know, baby. I guess I’m a little more upset about all this than I thought. Everything that has already happened because of this attack has been more than enough. Now we’re forced to leave the city because one of our best friends is being blamed. Strange that not two hours ago I was mad at him myself, but that was different.” He shook his head. “Now he has people he doesn’t even know accusing him of everything but pushing the button that brought the buildings down.”

“It isn’t fair, but you know how people can be. It’s hard for them to be angry without having something to direct that anger at.”

Andrew paused and stroked the side of her face, cupping it in his palm. “You sound like Paul. Resigned.”

“Paul knows how this kind of thing goes, much better than we do. You said that he didn’t seem that upset, and I’m going to use his feelings as a guide for mine.”

“Probably a good idea.”

The little angel reached up and held tight to Andrew’s hand. “In fact, I think that this little break will do he and Alex a lot of good. They have everything out in the open now, but a little one on one time never hurts.”

Andrew smirked and Monica looked up at him and quirked her eyebrows in question.

“Nothing… it’s nothing,” he answered. “Just that I think one on one time won’t be a problem for them…”

“Andrew!” Monica slapped at his arm in mock indignation.

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t help what I heard!”

Her eyes turned large and round. “You heard them?” she exclaimed.

“Not exactly. But let’s just say that I hope the walls at the farm are a bit thicker than here.”

Monica giggled and then pulled Andrew down for a kiss. “Yes,” she murmured against his ear a moment later. “Being apart from you is hard enough without constant reminders.”

The angel of death pulled back and saw the sultry glint in his wife’s eye and let out a low laugh. “Yes. You have a point there. Then again, once you’re feeling better I have a feeling that they are the ones who will be longing for sound-proofing.”

*****

The first week at the farm was actually harder than Paul thought it would be. Far from feeling relaxed and removed from everything that was happening in the city, his desire to know everything that was happening was stronger than ever. Alex practically had to pry him away from MSNBC and the rest of the cable news channels, and he had an email chain going with Walter that was up to ten replies by the end of the second day. He was very careful not to neglect Alex, but he couldn’t seem to stop the constant stream of thoughts that ran through his mind; thoughts about the bombings and about what was going to happen next.

With Monica confined to bed most of the time, and still sleeping a good bit due to painkillers and her body’s natural healing instincts, that left one less distraction for the older agent; actually, two less, since Andrew rarely left his wife’s side. If she and Paul had already talked, Alex would have driven herself deeper and deeper into depression, but instead she recognized Paul’s behavior for what it was: guilt. He couldn’t disengage because he couldn’t stop looking for some tiny bit of evidence that would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was nothing he could have done to stop the bombers.

By the fourth day, however, she had had enough. Ten o’clock rolled around and Paul was in his usual place in front of the television. He had eaten dinner with Alex and the two angels, but an invitation to run out for ice-cream had been met with a ‘not in the mood’, and he had kissed Alex, thanked her for making the dinner, and retreated to the family room.

Alex stood in the doorway and looked at him hunched forward, simultaneously listening to the commentators and reading the constantly streaming news-ticker at the bottom of he screen. She herself hated those things. She always seemed to start reading right at the end of an interesting blurb, and never found out what it was really about. She walked into the room and sat down on the sofa, took the remote from his hands and turned the television off.

“Hey! Alex…” Paul exclaimed, but his words were cut off when he turned and faced his wife, looking at her with entirely new eyes.

She was dressed in a nightgown that was hardly meant for sleeping. Entirely fashioned of soft, delicate lace, it left absolutely nothing to the imagination. At the moment it was covering everything vital, but one move and the lace could shift and reveal what was so thinly veiled.

“Haven’t you watched enough tv for one day?” she asked, her voice low and even.

Paul didn’t waste any time leaning forward and capturing her mouth with his. “Definitely,” he whispered after leaving her breathless and trailing kisses to her ear.

“Wait… wait…” Alex tried to catch her breath and gently pushed him away. He looked at her questioningly, not quite sure of what she wanted. “We need to talk first,” she said after another moment.

“Talk?” his mouth tilted into a slightly smarmy grin. “Those aren’t talking clothes you’re wearing…”

“I know. But you know what they say… sex always catches a person’s attention.”

Paul rolled his eyes as he stifled a laugh. When he looked into her face, however, the laughter fled and his expression turned serious. “Alex?”

“No… this doesn’t have anything to do with us. This is all about you.”

“Me? Alex…” he warned, already knowing where this was heading.

“You might as well drop that tone right now, because it doesn’t scare me one bit. We both know that I can take you… easily,” she ended with a smirk.

“Fine. Let me have it.”

“Let you have it? Paul, I’m not mad at you. What you’re doing… the way you’re feeling… I understand. But you’re hurting yourself with all this Monday morning quarterbacking. Don’t let what other people are saying affect what you know in your heart. There was nothing you could have done, Paul. Nothing. I wish that there was some way to prove that. I wish that some analyst would pop up on the news and announce that there was absolutely no way for you or anyone else in the Bureau to have prevented what happened, but I think we both know that isn’t going to happen. Every time someone says that, you know that there will be another expert out there to refute it. That’s how it works. That’s what keeps people watching at the debate rolling. But you don’t need an expert to tell you what you already know, and eventually people will come to realize the truth.”

Paul had been listening intently, his face growing sadder with every word. “But what if there was something? What if I could have done…”

“There wasn’t.” She reached out and grabbed both his hands in hers. “Sometimes things just happen. Remember? I think you told me that Monica told you that. If you can’t believe me, maybe you can believe an angel.”

Paul let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding, and he raised one hand to swipe at the tear that had leaked from Alex’s eye. “No. I believe you, baby. Always have. Always will.” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry I’ve been locking myself away in here.”

“It’s okay. I knew what it was all about, and it isn’t like you were neglecting me,” she continued with a sly grin. “You always came to bed… eventually.”

Paul chuckled. “Well what do you say to retiring a little earlier tonight?”

Alex stood up, her gown flowing down and alternately hiding and revealing everything. A seductive glint was in her eye as she watched Paul’s reaction. “I thought you’d never ask.”

She led the way back to their room and Paul was happy to follow behind, watching her hips sway suggestively as she walked. He was glad that she had insisted that they talk first, because if she had waited until afterwards he knew he would have simply agreed to anything she said without even listening. Heading straight for the bed, she let Paul take care of such mundane details as closing the door and dimming the lights.

He started to unbutton his shirt as he walked towards the bed, but she stopped him with a look and knelt on the edge of the bed to help him. Every inch of skin that she revealed she kissed and as she worked her way down his stomach he felt himself growing hard, already knowing exactly where she was heading. He groaned as he felt her deftly unbuttoning his pants and he couldn’t keep himself from tangling his fingers in her hair. She smiled against his stomach and slowly pulled his zipper down. She loved that she could reduce him to speechlessness so easily. It was a mutual talent she was happy to share.

Another minute and he let out another loud groan as he watched her lower her mouth onto him, taking him in and surrounding him with her hot mouth, tongue pressing against him, making him even harder. Her name was his mantra and he repeated it over and over again as she moved her head slowly, taking him a bit deeper each time and kneading the backs of his thighs at the same time. Watching her only brought him even closer to the edge. She was completely focused on her task but she opened her eyes when she sensed him looking down and winked at him as she took him all the way in.

It was more than he could take and he felt himself beginning to give way, but then gritted his teeth and managed, with some superhuman effort, to hold off. His hands in her hair pulled gently and she released him and let him draw her up until they were face to face. The love in his eyes said it all. He didn’t want completion without her. His mouth was at hers in an instant, hungrily demanding entrance as he pushed her back onto the bed. This time it was her turn to gasp and moan as he sucked at her nipples through the thin lace, making her beg him to take it off. She was arching into him, pushing herself against him, and still it wasn’t enough contact. She needed every barrier gone. She was about to start making dirty promises in exchange, but he relented and drew the nightgown over her head in one motion, tossing it far into he corner. He hardly wasted a breath before he was devouring her again and she had her knees drawn up as he nestled between them waiting for the signs that she was just as close to the edge as he was.

When he reached down to stroke through her wetness he knew it wouldn’t be much longer. Pushing one finger inside he found her already throbbing and ready and when he rubbed his thumb over her little nub her moans changed pitch, going higher, and he smiled against her breast. He knew her well. Only a heartbeat later and he had fully sheathed himself within her, drawing a breathless sigh from her that quickly turned to urging words as her hips moved against him.

He could feel her already beginning to tighten around him and he knew that as close as he was it wouldn’t be long for him either. She couldn’t believe how hard he felt within her, how perfect, how right. They had made love less than twenty-four hours ago, and it still felt like it had been forever. Reaching up, she pulled him down for a kiss, thrusting her tongue into his mouth in time to their rhythm. They were still kissing when they tumbled over the edge and caught one another’s screams in their mouths.

Their frenzied movements gradually slowed, but Paul continued to stroke her as they came down, rewarded when he felt her tighten around him again, more gently, and heard her quiet, shuddery sigh of completion.

“Damn,” she murmured, as he finally rolled them over and settled her against his chest. “How do you always know exactly what to do?”

He chuckled low in his chest. “I wouldn’t say you’re any slouch in that department! But the answer is easy. I love you. You’re my wife and I know you better than anyone else. I know every sigh and every touch, and they are all part of a package that makes me feel like the luckiest man alive.”

He kissed her gently and she swallowed around her emotion before countering, with a grin, “And you claim to be the strong, silent type!”