CHAPTER 2

As her supervisor vanished from her sight, the Irish angel hung her head and tried to focus on the feelings coming from her heart, desperate to know what it was Andrew was feeling so deeply. Though she could still sense his sadness, it no longer seemed as agonizing. In fact, the feelings coming from him seemed to lighten somewhat as the seconds ticked by and Monica felt a wave of relief that maybe his pain was in fact, diminishing.

Looking up once more and gazing across the park, her heart leapt to her throat at an image she'd know anywhere. His blonde hair was being ruffled by the gentle breeze that blew and he looked more at ease than the last day she had seen him, when both of their hearts had been breaking. He looked more handsome than ever and her heart ached as his gaze found hers.

As he approached her, Monica forgot all about being disappointed in the way he had hurt her. She forgot all about the hurtful words he had used to try to protect her that had wounded her confidence. All she could think about was how wonderful it would feel to be wrapped up in his strong embrace.

Andrew felt his own heartbeats accelerating as he finally saw his angel for the first time in two months. The expression in her dark eyes nearly undid him; it was an expression of hope and longing and love. It was all he ever wanted to know.

"Andrew," His name was more like a breath on her lips and for a fleeting moment she felt awkward, but then she remembered the pain she had felt coming from him and she flung her arms around him tightly, only wanting to erase what he had been feeling.

He closed his eyes as he held onto her as tightly as he dared, breathing in her sweet smelling hair and feeling her heart beating up against his own, "My precious angel, I've missed you more than you could ever imagine."

Tears stung Monica's eyes as she buried her face against his chest, "I've missed you too. So much, Andrew, just so much."

He held her for another moment before pulling away and kissing her forehead tenderly. He longed to bring his lips to hers, but he refrained. There was still too much unspoken between them and he didn't want to push anything, no matter how badly he wanted to.

Her dark eyes were wet with tears as she laid her small hand up against his heart, "You were sad…just a few minutes ago. I could feel it…"

Watching the tear that slipped onto her cheek and knowing it was out of concern for him caused his heart to swell with love for her all over again, "I'm not feeling sad right now," He smiled at her, but immediately saw the flash of pain in her eyes. No, he was not going to do this anymore; she always deserved to know the truth, "My last few assignments have been hard, Monica. Though each of them is now with the Father, their last minutes on earth were violent and painful."

The hurt over his initial vagueness faded and new hope welled up inside of her, even as her heart went out to him, "I'm so sorry these days have been difficult for you, Andrew."

"The past two months of not seeing you have been painful, Angel," He admitted softly as he led her back to the bench so they could sit down together, "Without you, I can be surrounded by humans or angels and still feel unbearably lonely."

Monica reached out and grasped his hand tightly in her own, "Me too. Andrew, maybe I was wrong; maybe we didn't need time apart-."

A finger against her lips kept her from saying more, "No, Monica. You were right. I've had a lot of time to think and a lot of time to replay how dishonest I was with you."

"You weren't dishonest! You never lied to me!" The thought that he had spent two months thinking that was what she thought caused tears to spring to her eyes unbidden.

"No, you're right. I never lied, but what I did do was to voice to you my deepest, darkest fears in a way that was cruel and hurtful. My fear was that something would happen to you up in the mountains, but the words that came out were that I thought you were inadequate to handle yourself and nothing is further from the truth," Tenderly, he cupped her cheek in his hand, "I'm working on it, Angel. I think I just need a little more time to remind myself that just because humans disappoint me, that doesn't give me an excuse to act like one of them."

"You don't. Not really. I'm partially to blame, Andrew. I…I come to you for comfort and there is no denying how safe I feel when I'm with you. I can't suddenly change the rules about wanting you to protect me and expect you to keep up." She was trying not to beg him to just forget everything she had said that day up in the field at Home, but having him here now, made the thought of him leaving again nearly tear her heart in two.

Moving his other hand, he cradled her face in both of his hands, "Baby, you've never once changed the rules. I made up new ones about it being okay to not be completely honest with you in order to protect you from certain truths, while at the same time, saying things in a way that hurt your feelings and your confidence. Angel, you are not to blame."

Her lower lip trembled and tears flooded her dark eyes, "But I miss you! I don't want to be apart anymore!"

With great love, Andrew pulled her into his arms once more and held her against his chest, comforting himself with simply the feel of her in his embrace, "I'm not talking about being apart anymore, baby. I just don't think our new relationship can move forward just yet as I can't bear the thought of ever hurting you like that again. I simply love you too much, Angel, to ever run that risk again."

"But why can't we just learn together?" She pleaded through her tears as her small hands clenched his shirt tightly, "I hate this. Earlier I knew you were sad but you hadn't been with me so I felt powerless to help you, powerless to know what was wrong. Maybe…maybe we aren't supposed to get it right at first; we aren't perfect!" She swallowed hard against the tears and then spoke from her heart, "I hurt you last time we were together and for two months I haven't been able to stop thinking about that."

Andrew held her tighter and ran his fingers through her auburn hair as he searched for the right words to say, "And I haven't been able to stop thinking about how badly I hurt you. I haven't been able to stop imagining how you must have felt out in the cold with little Sarah thinking you weren't good enough to care for her." Feeling her shake her head, he pulled away just enough to look down into her tear streaked face, "Monica, can you deny that was how you felt? That you weren't a good enough angel to succeed in your assignment?" The pain that flooded her teary eyes was all the answer he needed, "I made you feel that way, baby and I don't ever want to do that again. I've spent a lot of time talking with the Father and he is working on my heart. I'm not there yet, but I will be." He cradled her close once more and kissed the top of her head repeatedly, "If you hurt me the last time we talked it was only because the truth can hurt. That's what you were telling me, Monica. Only the truth." Still hearing her soft sobs, he rocked her in his arms, "I've missed you so much, but I want to make sure that I am someone truly worthy of your love, baby. I know I have it, but now I need to be an angel who deserves it. You're so precious to me, Monica and I don't ever want to run the risk of jeopardizing what we have together."

"You're…you're not going to stay away…are you?" the little angel uttered miserably. How she wished they could just go back to before the assignment with Sarah!

"No. I promise. Please stop crying, angel," Pulling away, he wiped at her tears with gentle fingers, "I have an assignment soon and I know that you do too, but I'll come to see you as soon as I can."