CHAPTER 10

The world is stone

By the end of the day on Thursday, Monica was certain she would sleep that night whether Andrew was home or not. Though every morning, she would awaken after only a few hours of restless sleep, she would find him then sleeping on top of the comforter in her room, his handsome face laden with exhaustion from another night shift. The little angel also had a feeling that Andrew spent a lot of his shift worrying about her, but since the first morning he had come home, they'd had very little time to talk; when he came home at dawn, she would finally be catching some much needed rest after finally falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning, and when she would wake up, Andrew was by then fast asleep. She hated it and was more than happy that next week, he would be working day shift.

Despite their limited conversation, there was no lack of love through actions between the two of them. Andrew always cooked dinner and left Monica a plate of something delicious in the microwave that she could have after work, and Monica in return, would leave him a sweet little note, also in the kitchen next to a sandwich on a plate in the refrigerator so he could eat when he got home before going to sleep. She figured sandwiches were fairly safe, given her limited culinary ability and she was secretly so pleased that he always ate them.

But when Andrew wasn't at home, sleep for the little angel was nearly impossible. Their situation was still too new and too scary for her to rest easily being alone at night, and every time she heard sirens leaving the fire department, it felt as if her heart plummeted to her stomach.

But it was finally the end of the school day on Thursday and with only one day remaining in her work week, that left Monica happily anticipating a weekend with Andrew. Her first full week of teaching had been exhausting but in a happy way as she loved each of her little students, all eager to learn every tiny tidbit of knowledge she was teaching them. Their sweet voices brought Monica great happiness and their loving hugs were almost as good as one from Andrew. Almost.

The thought brought a surge of ache to her heart as she finished tidying up her classroom at the end of the day, not looking forward to one last night alone at home. Home. The word brought with it such a rush of emotions. On one hand, Home was heaven and she wondered if she would ever see it again, but yet on the other hand, home was where Andrew was and geography didn't make a bit of difference.

"I hope you plan on getting yourself some sleep tonight, baby!"

Ella's voice no longer startled the little angel, though it did still bring an inch of sadness to her heart, "Yes, ma'am," Monica grinned sheepishly at her newest friend, "I'm so tired that I don't think it will be an issue."

The older woman looked at her young friend with concern in her eyes. Though different from anyone Ella had ever met before, Monica wore her heart on her sleeve. What Ella already knew is that her friend was not overly fond of the city and she hated being alone at home. No, Monica had not said as much, but Ella would always find her still working in her classroom long after most of the teachers had gone home for the day and Ella was determined that tonight that would not happen. The little Irish female looked about ready to drop as it were.

"Tonight is Andrew's last night on graveyard shift?"

Monica nodded suppressing a tiny grin at Ella's use of the word 'graveyard' thinking that the former Angel of Death would probably not be amused, "I miss him so much, Ella. I don't feel as if I've spoken to him in days."

"Well honey, only one more night. Now c'mon and get your things. You need to be out of here at a decent hour tonight so you can be well rested to enjoy your weekend with your soul mate."

The two chatted on their way out of the building, just comparing notes about their new students and when the time came for Ella to go her own way home, Monica waved to her cheerfully, before continuing on her way the remaining two blocks to her apartment. Without Ella to speak with now, the little angel felt a sadness begin to creep over her heart. She was sure her sorrow had to do with her lack of sleep this week as her human form was not made to only rest two or three hours each night, but nonetheless, she had been feeling this way a lot this week.

As an angel, Monica had never felt alone. Even if Andrew was working someplace else, she would find herself in the company of Tess, other angels or assignments. Even on the rare occasion when she would indeed find herself between assignments and alone, God's loving presence was always a physical part of her.

That was all changed now. Though in her heart, Monica knew the Father was never far from her, she could no longer feel that absolute certainty that she had been able to feel as an angel and she had marvelled at what humans who believed felt each and every day. No, she wasn't exactly going on faith alone, as she had stood in God's presence as an angel, but now...it was just different. And different was lonely.

Furiously, she blinked back tears as she made her way down the final block, trying not to get swallowed up amongst the hundreds of people crowding the sidewalk at this time of day. Head down, tears threatening to push themselves forward, she didn't know what hit her when she was shoved to the ground and the bag she carried to and from school each day was ripped from her shoulder.

A startled cry escaped her lips and then Monica felt hands helping her to her feet, even as she heard a male voice hollering for someone to STOP. She was trembling all over and her palms ached from their contact with the sidewalk.

"Are you all right?" The voice belonged to the older gentleman who had helped her up from the ground.

"Y..yes...thank you," She could barely fathom what had happened as curious faces peered into her own as if assuring themselves that the young lady was truly all right.

"I lost him. I'm so sorry," Another younger gentleman ran up to them, breathing hard from his attempt to catch the mugger, "I didn't even get a look at him. You should probably find a police officer, miss, and make a report. Or call the police when you get home."

"No...no, it's all right. He didn't get anything important," Monica just wanted to go home now.

The two men exchanged a glance before the younger one spoke once more, "You're not from around here, are you?" Seeing her give a tiny shake of her head, he sighed, "Listen, you can't walk around this city and not be paying attention. I saw you right before that guy pushed you down; you were a hundred miles away and that thief knew it and made you his target. There are dozens more just like him on the street, but if you are paying attention and walking with purpose the chances of them bothering you are much slimmer."

Seeing the tears swimming in the young woman's eyes, the older man patted her arm gently, "Lecture over. Why don't you let me walk you home?"

"No...it's okay...I live right down here. Thank you for your help, both of you." Turning away, the little angel nearly flew down the half block, never slowing down until she was inside the apartment with the door locked behind her.

When Andrew arrived home just before dawn, he laid down his jacket on a chair and made his way into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, he frowned worriedly. Monica had been leaving him a snack, which he found absolutely adorable, but this morning, there was nothing there. Concerned, he opened the microwave and his anxiety shot through the roof when he found her dinner still inside, untouched.

"Monica?" He called out her name without even thinking, suddenly terrified that something had happened to her; that she wasn't here. Jogging through the apartment, he burst into her bedroom and found her bed empty.

"Oh Father, where is she?" Andrew murmured, true fear now gripping him as he raced to his own room, and only then did he feel as if he could once again breathe. There she was, asleep on his bed, her small body curled up tightly and still dressed from work the previous day.

Though relieved at finding her, the fear refused to leave him. The feeling that something was just not right would not leave his heart and Andrew carefully sat down on the edge of the bed to peer into her face.

She'd been crying. Her eyes were swollen and he could almost feel the sadness coming off of her in waves, even as she slept. Instinctively, he reached for her hand, and frowned when he felt a roughness on her palm and upon further inspection he saw the brush burns against her delicate skin. His brow furrowed in concern as he moved a hand to stroke the hair back from her face, the simple action, causing her eyes to open with a start.

"Andrew..." Pushing herself up, Monica flung herself into his arms. She felt as if she had not been held by him in a month and all the loneliness and feelings of being so lost now welled up so strongly within her that she burst into tears.

Andrew's heart was again racing as he held her tightly up against his chest, "Baby, it's okay. I've got you, Angel. I'm right here."

"I've missed you so much..." She sobbed up against his chest, her fingers clutching at his shirt.

"Oh baby, I've missed you too. So much, Monica," He whispered as his hand stroked her hair.

"I...I feel so alone when you aren't here...and I don't understand...I don't understand why Tess...why she would act that way...Why can't she understand how much I love you? Why...can't she understand how scared I am here? I don't...I don't know what I'm doing any more!"

"Hush, Angel. Please stop crying." He pleaded softly, "You're so tired, baby; that's where part of this is coming from." Andrew kissed the top of her head again and again, trying to bring some peace to her anguished heart. He had known her emotions would be inevitable, especially this week. It was only their second week here and they had barely seen each other. Add to that the fact that she had not been sleeping and he was actually surprised that she was finally beginning to calm a little bit in his arms.

"Some man stole my bag tonight on my way home," The confession was but a whisper, but judging by the fact that he tensed up immediately, she may as well have screamed it.

"What?" He pulled away, his expression nearly frantic as he looked her over, "Are you all right? What do you mean someone stole your bag?"

"I'm all right. He pushed me down and took my bag. Another man tried to catch him but he couldn't." Her lower lip began to tremble once more, "It was my fault; I wasn't paying attention-."

"Did you call the police, Monica?"

"No..." Seeing his distress, the tears began to fall once again, "He must have been desperate, Andrew, to do something like that. Maybe he just needed some help..."

"Baby, he's not an assignment," His soft words only caused her to bury her face in her hands as her shoulders heaved with anguished sobs and he suddenly began to understand so much more.

This new life had been difficult for him to adapt to; the week had been hard, but he was slowly finding his way, fuelled by his love for the little angel. But Monica...

She had to feel as if she was trapped in between two worlds. She had such a gentle soul and such a tender heart and she had been torn away from all she loved, with the exception of him and he had been more or less absent from her life this week. His precious angel had been feeling more lost than he ever could have imagined, though guilt ripped through him at the realization that he should have foreseen it and possibly found a way to make it easier for her.

"Oh Monica," Andrew sighed as he pulled her close once more, "This isn't' working."

Though the words were spoken aloud, he'd meant them more for himself and he only realized he'd voiced them when her tear-streaked face jerked up to look at him.

"I'm not going back!" The words bordered on hysteria, but her token stubborn expression was firmly intact, "I'm not giving you up...what we have...it's too important, Andrew!"

"But Angel, this hasn't been fair to you-."

"Tess wasn't fair to either one of us. She wouldn't even listen and that doesn't make her right."

"No," Andrew replied gently as he wiped at her tears with tender fingers, "It doesn't. But Monica, maybe there is another way."

"We can't go back. We no longer have the ability," She insisted.

"No, but if we ask-."

A firm shake of her head stopped him from finishing his sentence, "I don't want to risk it." The harshness left her eyes and a brief look of fear crossed her face, "Do you?" Her voice had dropped to the frightened whisper of a five year old child.

The smallest of smiles played on his lips as he cupped her face in his hands, "No, baby. The thought of losing you; of anyone keeping us apart...I can't even imagine it."

"Then please, let's not ask. I'll do better; I promise I will..."

"Monica!" His voice was incredulous as he looked at her sternly, "Do better? Angel, for what you have been thrown into, you are doing just fine. It's only been two weeks and all things considered, you have done so well."

His hands felt warm and reassuring against her face and she managed a teary eyed smile, "Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that if this week is part of the price I have to pay for staying with you, then it was well worth it, even if it was terribly lonely."

"We have the weekend together," Andrew encouraged as his thumbs caught the last of her tears, "And I'm off night shift for two weeks, so that should give us some more time to feel settled," His expression turned more serious as he gazed into her eyes, nearly getting lost in her glassy brown pools, "Angel, I'll do everything I can to make this easier for you."

Her smaller hands moved up to lay over his own, "Andrew, you already are."

Her hopeful expression begged for his touch and Andrew slowly lowered his mouth to hers, feeling the contented sigh that escaped her as the kiss began. It was slow and languid, souls touching and reassuring one another of the reasons they were really here.

"I love you so much, my beautiful, precious little angel girl," Andrew murmured softly as he rubbed his nose against hers once their lips had parted.

"And I love you," Monica breathed out the words, eyes still closed, wanting to hold onto the feeling she now had in her heart and the certainty she felt in her soul.

Andrew gazed into her face, seeing everything from her fatigue to the striking beauty of her Gaelic features and he was unable to help kissing her cheeks and eyelids, her nose and her chin before brushing her lips once more, "But now, you need to get showered and ready for work, though I would love nothing more but to keep you here, snuggled up with me for a very long nap. However, you have little students who need you first."

She nodded her head as she rose reluctantly to her feet and started for the door to go back to her own room to get ready, but before she left, she turned around to face him once more, "Thank you." Seeing his eyebrows raise curiously, she explained, "Just for always knowing what I need."

Andrew watched her disappear into her own room, and though tired, he had every intention of walking her to work before he slept. He smiled to himself, always amazed at the intensity with which he loved her, "And you are everything I need, Monica."