CHAPTER 19

St. Paul's Chapel

"Bye, miss Monica!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, miss Monica!"

After she had received a warm hug from each of her little students, Monica waved them goodbye and watched as they left the school building holding their parents' hands. And it cheered her heart to know that they were loved – especially little Rose, who was now a much more talkative little girl thanks to an angel in human form, who dared to face her violent father and make a change in her life.

"They are so fond of you, baby!"

Ella's voice took Monica out of her thoughts and the angel looked at her friend with a smile. "They are so very special... I can but just pray that one day all God's children can be as loved as these ones by their earthly parents."

The old teacher eyed her for a few seconds, and with a smile she spoke again. "You'll be a wonderful mother."

Those words came as a surprise, as she had never thought of that before. It had already been said that no angel had a heart like Monica's, and the Irish angel was very special in many ways – especially to a certain angel of death. But even though she had thought about being a mother once, this possibility had always sounded not viable, something like a melancholic dream that would never come true. But now, it had suddenly become concrete. In a few months, she and Andrew would be living as a married couple and being in their human form who would know the consequences of their love?

Slightly blushed, Monica gave a sheepish smile and bit her lower lip, causing Ella to chuckle. And before the angel could say something, her friend spoke again. "Oh, and talking about it, look who's here!"

Monica turned her eyes to the entrance gate and now, besides the children that kept on leaving the old school building, she saw a tall blond gentleman smiling and looking at her with usual tenderness and evident love in his green eyes. A heartbeat later, she was in his arms and he was kissing the top of her head.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked, gently stroking her hair once they pulled away.

"Yes, I just have to pick up my purse and a few books."

Andrew took her hand to his lips. "I'll be waiting for you right here, 'miss Monica'!" he joked, enjoying as she giggled at his words – he loved making her smile. His green eyes followed her until she disappeared in the main building entrance and while the angel of death waited for her he watched as excited little children left the school with lots of new stories to tell their parents after one more class day.

A little boy passed by him and was explaining to his mom how his dear teacher Monica had made them look for a hidden treasure inside the classroom and how he guided his group to find it. He was exactly chuckling at the little one's report when Monica reappeared, now ready to go.

X

With her arms wrapped around his, Monica was particularly charming with a pink turtle neck sweater underneath and a beige leather jacket. A matching beige pair of boots and blue jeans completed her look and made her even prettier to Andrew's eyes. They were doing some shopping and the angel of death knew that the Christmas lights – still on in the beginning of that year, would always enchant his beloved angel. Snow had given a break and many people were taking that opportunity to walk around the city and admire beautiful displays and its most famous sights.

St. Paul's church was one of these sights was. They were passing by the old and beautiful building when Monica decided to stop and admire it.

"It's always comforting to find a place for reflection and that is a reminder that no one is alone in this world." She said, contemplating the eighteenth century architecture. There was a tall tree right in front of it, somewhat complementing man's work. Winter made its twigs bare and earning for spring to come, when they would become covered with vibrant green leaves and serving as a shelter for flocks of birds.

"It's been here for almost two hundred years and when it was built, the other buildings were not as tall the ones nowadays." Andrew spoke, and then pointed at the two giant towers not far from them. "Something like the world trade center was nothing but a dream that would never come true at that time."

"You know, Andrew, I've just realised that I haven't visited this city very often..." she said, with a pensive look upon her face. Then, she turned to look at him as a slight smile played on her face. "But you... You seem to know it quite a lot!"

The blond angel also smiled, and took her hand to his lips. "This tall tree that stands in front of the chapel... I planted it."

Andrew enjoyed to watch as her bright brown eyes grew wider in surprise, like the eyes of a child. "You did? When?"

"A little bit before the chapel was built. I was still a caseworker then."

"Oh!"

"I was here with an assignment and I clearly remember telling that young man, who didn't know what he would do of his life, that every small gesture, for as meaningless as it might seem at first, can have consequences that might last through generations." He explained. "And then I planted this tree and told him that it could never grow, but if it did at least it would serve as a shelter on a hot day, or as a refuge to the birds. I told him to cultivate the hope in every small action he did, and that he should put his heart on each of them, because they were all part of God's greater plan."

Monica was eyeing him not only with evident love, but also with a lot of admiration. All the time they had known each other, he had been such a wise friend, who was able to speak to her heart the exact words she needed to hear. Tess had played that role too, but in a different way. Andrew's presence was like a shelter from the storm, someone who would wipe her tears away, hold her tight and never, ever scold her or made her feel bad for her mistakes or anguished thoughts, as he knew her heart and how loving it was.

The blond angel noticed her loving gaze and touched the tip of her nose with his index finger. "And I was right then because now I'm here with you, telling you this story. And when I realise that all my small actions in my existence led me to this very moment... this is when I realise how blessed I am!"

Watching as her eyes were suddenly filled with happy tears, and aware of her sensitive little heart, Andrew bent down and brushed his lips against hers, in a soft and tender kiss. But as they pulled away, Monica still continued to stare at him with enchantment.

"I'm always amazed at this ability of yours, you know Andrew..."

"What ability, angel?"

"To have the right words at the right moment... And there have been many moments since the day we first met that you were my angel."

"I believe I've always been your angel!" his broad smile back at her almost undid the chatty Irish angel. She quickly let go of his arm and held him tightly.

"I've always been yours too." Andrew kissed the top of her head repeatedly as she contemplated their surroundings. "Can we go inside the chapel?"

"Sure, angel. But I'm afraid the mass is over by now."

"It's alright." She spoke as she pulled away. "I want to offer my prayers of thanks."

Andrew kissed her forehead and both headed to inside the chapel.

X

When they got back home that evening, Monica and Andrew had dinner and had planned to cuddle up together on the sofa to watch a movie on TV that night. It was something typical of human beings and the blond angel was chuckling at that fact on his way back to the living room. But there he found his beloved angel girl standing by the window; her thoughts miles away.

"Angel?" he spoke, placing his hands over her shoulders.

Monica smiled, immediately acknowledging his presence. "I'm afraid I was a wee bit distracted..."

"And I was wondering if you're still up for that movie you wanted to see!"

"Yes... I am..." There was still distraction in her words, and Andrew wondered what was making her so absorbed in her thoughts.

But it wasn't necessary to ask her. Monica would always voice her thoughts to him, and this time it wasn't different. "I was thinking about something..." she said, still not looking Andrew, as if she was still searching for the right words. Still smiling, he gently cupped her chin up so that he could see those sweet brown pools. Only then did Monica speak again, and now she was straightforward. "Do you think it'll be possible for us to have children?"

Her words came as a surprise, it was true, but those thoughts were not new to him. The blond angel had already considered that same possibility in one of the many nights he had spent awake, debating on whether making their love a concrete fact was right. And not long ago, Andrew had decided to keep his doubts and fears for himself as he knew that wondering about it would make his beloved angel suffer.

However, he wasn't able to hide the frown of concern on his face, and it somewhat had an impact on Monica. "Andrew?" She called his name with uncertainty, trying to find out what was behind such a serious and concerned expression.

He let out a tired sigh. "I... assume that this is a matter we should just let go and try not to think about..."

His words were unexpected and immediately had the wrong impact on the little angel. "You... you wouldn't like to have children?"

The former angel of death could see the hurt he had just inflicted in her heart even though he didn't mean it. And he was quick to let her know that. "Oh, no, angel! I didn't say that!" he took her hands and guided her to the couch, and once they were sitting he nervously tried to search for the right words. "Please, don't think something like that because this is not true..."

"But you said-"

"I didn't express myself properly."

She was still shocked by his words, and her voice was nearly a crying one. "Then why did you tell me to let it go? You've always been so fond of children yourself, you have such a way with the little ones, I thought-"

"Monica, having a child with you is... would be the best gift I could ever receive after your love itself..." he spoke quickly, in an attempt to put her heart at ease, and stroked her face with tenderness. "A baby... carrying your traits and your beautiful smile, angel... would be much more than I deserve."

"Then I don't understand..." came her reply, and he could see she was a bit calmer but yet too confused.

And as much as he didn't want to say it, Andrew knew he had to conclude his thoughts. "What if never happens, angel? You and I are in human form, but we are angels and this is our nature. What if this same nature imposes us limitations we are not able to overcome?"

As he spoke, Monica's eyes were filled with tears and it didn't take long before a lonely and sad one rolled down her face. "I see... Limitations such as not being able to carry a child within me..."

"Only the Father knows how much it hurts me having to tell you this... That's why I didn't want to talk about it, baby... because I knew I'd see all this sadness and pain... And I'd rather spend a whole eternity away from you than watching you suffer."

"No!" Her crying voice was followed by a desperate embrace, and Andrew knew she was seeking in his arms a shelter from all the misery that had settled in her heart. He held her tightly and closed his eyes, wishing nothing but to make her smile again, just like he had done on that same day.

Long two minutes later he broke the silence once more. "But then again, Monica, we don't know all the truth... I don't know if I'm wrong here, if the possibility we're talking about isn't just a mere dream but something that can become a reality in the future..." he spoke against her ear, and after kissing her cheek, the blond angel pulled away gently. "The truth, angel, is that the only certainty I have in this world is of my love for you, and it's onto it that I hold whenever all these doubts start crossing my mind."

As more tears rolled down her face, Monica nodded her head. "You are right... You are perfectly right, Andrew. There... there are so many questions still unanswered. But our being together is everything I need... the most important..." She lowered her head and bit her lower lip for a moment. When she looked at him again, there was a bittersweet smile playing on her face. "But I want you to know that if someday the Father blesses us with one more miracle besides our love itself... this miracle will have your traits and your eyes..." she touched his handsome face and traced a line along his jaw. "As it's when I look at them that I realise how blessed I am..."

A kiss against her lips was the reply for that final statement. Gently, Andrew cupped her cheek and dared to deepen that loving caress, wanting her to feel nothing but his deep, immense affection.