CHAPTER 9

“What just happened here?” Tess demanded, stopping Andrew before he
could follow Monica out the door,
“And where is she going?”

Andrew closed his eyes painfully as he tried to keep his emotions in
check,
“She remembers, Tess. She says she remembers everything, but yet, it
doesn’t make sense.”

Tess looked at Andrew in shock,
“What do you mean she remembers everything? We were supposed to help
her remember gradually, Mr. Halo, not open up the flood gates and hope
for the best.”

“That’s what I was doing,” He countered, his voice tight as he tried to
keep the anger from his voice,
“This morning she remembered Stacey, but she couldn’t remember how she
helped her and she remembered that she was afraid of you because things
happened to her when you sang, but she couldn’t explain it. She also
remembered God, but couldn’t remember that she was an angel. Then, I go
to take a shower and when I come back, she has remembered everything and
now she’s furious with me for not telling her! She said she needed to
be alone, but I have to find her, Tess!”

“Now hold on just a minute, Angel Boy,” She stopped him before he could
go any further,
“Maybe what she needs is a little bit of space for awhile--.”

“No, Tess,” He cut her off mid-sentence,
“If she has remembered everything and I mean everything, then the last
thing she needs is to be alone with her thoughts. She is so vulnerable
right now and none of this makes any sense. She wanted to know if
Stacey was alive. Why would she ask me that, huh?”

Tess was quiet for a moment as though listening to someone,
“Stacey was in an accident, Andrew.” She said softly.

“How could she know that?” Andrew cried out,
“She’s human, Tess, she couldn’t have known!”

“Lets go, Angel Boy,” She replied, heading to the door with Andrew close
behind her,
“I’ve got a bad feeling that my baby didn’t remember anything on her
own.”


Monica had left the house running and had been running ever since. The
ocean breeze stung her red and swollen eyes, but she didn’t care. She
ran until she became exhausted from running and crying, then she slowed
her pace to a walk. Try as she might, she could not stop the tears.
Sobbing, she walked out until her bare feet were in the water before she
fell to her knees, her body heaving with anguished sobs.

What had she done? How could this have happened to her and where did it
go so terribly wrong? Everything she had ever believed had been
stripped from her and the memories that kept racing through her mind
were tearing her apart piece by piece. She was sure that soon there
would be nothing left of her. The horrible experience she had endured
while with Kathleen would not leave her mind and it was all she could do
to think about Stacey. If she, herself had not been running away,
Stacey could have been spared the pain of her accident. The emotions
that flowed through the angel, grief, pain, guilt, anguish, were the
most intense feelings she had ever in her existence felt before.

She longed to talk to the Father, but knew she could not, not after
where she had been and what she had done. Even in the bright sunshine,
Monica now felt surrounded by darkness to which there was no end for
her. Defeated, she laid down on the wet sand, letting the cold ocean
water dampen her body to match her spirits. What would become of her
now? Had Kathleen been right all along?

“Baby?” She heard Tess’ painfully familiar voice behind her, but her
body was so heavy with grief that she didn’t feel like she could move,
“Please, just leave me alone,” She sobbed brokenly,
“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll just go away and forget you
ever knew me. I’ve hurt so many and have been touched by pure evil and
I don’t even think I can bear to have you look at me, Tess.”

Tears spilled onto Tess’ cheeks at the sound of her words that held a
pain greater than Tess had ever felt in all her life as an angel,
“Monica, baby, I love you and nothing that you’ve done or any place
you’ve been is ever going to change that.”

Tess’ words only seemed to make Monica cry harder,
“I’m not worth those feelings, Tess…”

Unable to stand it anymore, Andrew knelt down to her and pulled her to
her feet, though she refused to look at him,
“We’re going to get through this together, sweetheart. Tess and I love
you so much and you deserve every bit of it. I know you’re angry at me
right now, but I was only trying to do what was best for you, to try and
spare you the pain of knowing everything at once. “

“I’m not angry with you, Andrew,” She managed to choke out,
“You’ve only ever tried to take care of me, but you shouldn’t have
wasted your time. I’m so sorry…I must be such a huge disappointment to
you both.”

Tess approached them and pulled Monica into her loving embrace, holding
her tightly. She felt the violent sobs racking through her small body
and Tess looked up to see Andrew’s face streaked with tears as well.
They both knew that this was not going to be easy.
“You never disappoint us, baby,” Tess whispered lovingly to her.

“Please help me,” Monica pleaded, holding tightly to her supervisor,
“I…I feel like I’m drowning in all of this!”

“I know, Angel Girl, I know. C’mon and lets head home so you can change
into something dry and warm and then the three of us will talk,
alright?” She pulled away a little to look into Monica’s swollen eyes.

Monica nodded her head as they started back, her body shaking so badly,
it was all she could do to walk and she wasn’t sure if it was from the
cold water or from her emotions.
Drying the tears on his face, Andrew turned to her and held out his
arms, scooping her up as she went to him. She wrapped her arms around
his neck, burying her face in his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered miserably to him as he walked to catch up
with Tess.

“There is nothing to be sorry for, Monica. I love you so much,” He
looked into her eyes as she gazed up at him,
“Please, don’t give up. I can only imagine how much it hurts, but you
can get through this; we can get through this.”

“I hope so, Andrew,” She uttered tearfully,
“I hope so.”