CHAPTERS 23 & EPILOGUE

Chapter 23

            “I never stopped caring about her, or loving her,” Monica uttered softly,

            “But maybe she got so angry because I didn’t care enough to go with her.  I can only guess, really. “

            “You may be right at that,” Andrew remarked, his fingers continuing to brush through her hair thoughtfully,

            “I’m sorry she hurt you so deeply the day she decided to follow Killian.  The closest I can come to imagining how that would feel, is by the thought of losing you.”

            Monica smiled softly, despite everything as she wrapped her arms tightly around him,

            “Thank you,” She whispered.

            “For what, sweetheart?” He asked softly.

            “For being here.  For listening.  For understanding and most of all, for being my friend.” Came the gentle reply,

            “You and Tess taught me to trust again when it came to friendships and there was a time when I would have thought that to be impossible.  Kathleen broke my heart when she walked away, but it was you and Tess who mended it.  Now, if only I could convince myself that Kathleen’s going was not in some way my fault.  I keep thinking that maybe if I had tried harder, then maybe-.”

            “It wasn’t your fault.”

            The sound of Kathleen’s voice caused both angels to jump.  Andrew immediately tightened his hold on Monica protectively as their eyes turned to look at the dark angel, whom they could suddenly see, as a soft light had filled the dark cavern when she had spoken.

            “Kathleen.” Monica uttered softly, her eyes meeting those of her once dearest friend.

            “It wasn’t your fault, Monica,” Kathleen repeated, her voice heavy with a sadness that was uncharacteristic of her,

            “I heard everything you just told Andrew and…it wasn’t your fault.”

            Monica’s heart began to race, as she weakly pulled away from Andrew and shakily rose to her feet to face Kathleen,

            “I always wondered if there was more I could have done to stop you from going,” She said softly,

            “I’ve wondered that for a long time.”

            “Well, you can put your mind at rest now, Monica.  The decision was mine and mine alone, even if leaving your friendship behind was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  I guess I never gave up on hoping that maybe one day you would change your mind and come with me.”

            Andrew’s eyes moved from Monica to Kathleen and back again, trying to remain calm.  This was a side of Kathleen he had never seen before, and he couldn’t help but wonder if somehow it was all a trick. 

            Monica was quiet for a moment, her eyes never leaving Kathleen’s,

            “Your friendship meant so much to me, Kath, and I still care about you so much, but I’ll never come with you.  Don’t you see?”

            “How can you still care about me after all I’ve done to you?” The dark angel questioned, her eyes full of disbelief,

            “I’ve hurt you time and time again, and you never once so much as raised your voice to me in anger.  Why?”

            Tears filled Monica’s eyes as a small smile graced her lips,

            “Because I would never to do that to someone I called ‘friend’.”

            Andrew watched as tears filled Kathleen’s eyes as well as relief flooded through his exhausted human body.  Something in Monica’s retelling of the story to him, had perhaps caused healing in Kathleen, or at least so he hoped.

            “But I haven’t been a friend to you in a very long time, Monica.” She replied sadly.

            “Kathleen, we are who we are, and maybe it’s time to stop trying to change that.  Maybe it’s time to put the past where it belongs.  You made your choice and I’ve made mine and maybe all we can do is meet in the middle somewhere with an understanding.” The angel reached out a trembling hand towards the one she had once called “friend”, and tears coursed down her face as Kathleen tentatively reached out and grasped her proffered hand tightly.

            “I’m sorry…for all the pain I’ve caused you, as well as Andrew and Tess,” Kathleen’s eyes shimmered with tears,

            “They are true friends to you, Monica; something I never was.”

            “Yes, you were, Kathleen.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  For a long time, you were a very, very good friend and a gift from God.”  Moving a step closer, Monica wrapped her arms around Kathleen one last time and hugged her tightly,

            “Are we free to go?” She whispered.

            Kathleen nodded her head, not trusting herself enough to speak as she returned the hug from her old friend, who she now knew had a heart of pure gold,

            “How can you ever forgive me?”           

            “Because I am of God, Kathleen, and God is love and forgiveness.  Surely you remember that much.” Monica said softly.

            “Yeah, I guess I do,” She replied, pulling away,

            “Till we meet again?”

            Monica smiled and nodded her auburn head,

            “Take care of yourself, Kathleen.”

            “I will, and you do the same.  Who knows, maybe one day, I’ll come back, if He’d have me.”

            “You know the answer to that,” Monica replied gently as Kathleen vanished before her eyes.

            Andrew rose slowly to his feet and walked up behind his friend.  As he wrapped his arms around her, she let out a sigh that was half a sob, and she turned around to bury her face against him.

            “It’s over, Andrew,” She wept softly,

            “I think it is finally over.”

            He held her tightly as he closed his eyes.  When he opened them again, they were both seated at the base of the mountain that Monica had climbed days before in her search for Andrew.  A gentle fall rain fell softly around them as Monica pulled away from her friend and smiled through her tears.  She watched as the raindrops clung to the tree branches for a moment before they dripped down onto the ground and she listened to the gentle, soothing sound as the rain fell softly all around them. 

            Andrew wrapped his arm around her shoulders, still filled with wonderment for the scene he had just watched between Monica and Kathleen.  He gazed down lovingly at his friend, curiosity filling his eyes as she lifted her closed hand in front of her.  When she opened it, her necklace, with the cross and Andrew’s ring still attached was lying in her palm.

            She reached for the ring and gently took Andrew’s hand in her own as she placed it back on her friend’s finger, before she smiled up at him.  The look of utter peace on her face brought tears to Andrew’s eyes.  His best friend had finally found her peace and it was as soothing and beautiful as the soft rain that fell all around them.

Epilogue

            The auburn-haired angel walked alone along the long stretch of deserted beach, thinking over all that had transpired over the last several weeks.  Her heart was finally at peace over her battle with Kathleen, and it was a peace the angel had not known for a very long time.  Though she always carried the peace of God with her, there had long been restlessness in her heart regarding her former best friend and Andrew. 

            But her fear over losing him was now gone and her battle with herself over the loss of Kathleen to darkness was finally resolved.  She knew now that there was nothing more she could have done to have prevented Kathleen from making the choice that she had.  She still felt sadness over the fact that she had chosen the darkness, and seeing that brief glimpse of her old friend made that point a little more painful.  There would never be a time when she would not miss her and the friendship that had once been.

            But God had a way of healing hearts, even in angels and she had to smile when she thought of Andrew, remembering the first time she had ever met him, and how insanely jealous she had been of Tess’ relationship with him.  She would have tossed him off that train given half a chance!  But in that moment when the train had passed him by once his part of the assignment was over, she had caught a glimpse of a deep kindness in his eyes and she had immediately known that she had been too hasty in her judgment of him.  Little had she known at that moment just how terribly important he would become in her existence. 

            She stopped walking and gazed out over the ocean, the straw hat she wore shielding her eyes from the bright sunlight.  She marveled for a moment at the power of the ocean, so much like the power of friendship.  It was so beautiful and so inviting, yet it had to be treated with care and respect, lest it pull you under in its strong hold.  Kathleen could have easily pulled her under, had Andrew not been there to pull her back. 

            She sighed softly, her dark eyes gazing up the lovely blue sky above her,

            “Thank you, Father.” She whispered softly.

            “Monica!”

            She turned her head to see Andrew walking down the beach towards her and she smiled at the way the sun caught his blond hair as it blew lazily in the ocean breeze.  She turned towards him as he grew closer and in a moment of impulsiveness, she broke into a run, her bare feet pounding into the wet sand.

            Once the space between them closed, she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly for a moment.  She felt his arms encircle her waist and she relaxed in his warm embrace.

            “Are you okay?” He asked, after a moment, his voice tinged with concern for her.

            Monica smiled as she pulled away a little and nodded her head,

            “Andrew, remember the first time we met, on the train?” Seeing him nod his head, she continued,

            “I don’t think I ever apologized to you for being so terribly rude to you and I wanted to do that, right here, right now.”

            Andrew laughed as he shook his head,

            “Angel Girl, that was years ago!”

            “I know it, but I wanted to tell you I was sorry anyway.  Can you ever forgive me?” She gazed up at him, her expression completely serious.

            “Since when do you even have to ask?” He responded softly, seeing that this was important to her.

            She smiled happily, feeling truly blessed in so many ways,

            “I want to thank you too.”

            His eyes twinkling warmly, he grinned back at her,

            “For what, sweetie?”

            “For pulling me back,” Came the simple response as she reached for his hand.

            Andrew gazed out at the ocean for a moment, finally understanding what she was saying.  He squeezed her hand tightly as he gave her a gentle tug as they resumed walking down the beach.

            There were no words between them.  At that moment, none were needed.

The End