CHAPTER 3

When Monica awoke it was much later in the afternoon and she felt a tiny touch of a headache.  Moving her hand to her forehead to try to soothe it away, she gave a tiny sigh.  Even she could tell she had a slight fever, probably from the extremely cold water as well as from going to sleep with wet hair.

She frowned when she saw that Andrew was no longer with her, but even despite her slightly stuffy nose, she could smell a mixture of coffee and soup and knew that he had been busy simply taking care of her.  Climbing out of bed, Monica slipped on a hooded sweatshirt she found in the closet for additional warmth as a slight chill had settled into her bones, and then she went in search of her beloved angel of death.

Her stocking feet scarcely made a sound in the hallway and she came to the entrance for the living room, she saw Andrew perched on the edge of the sofa cushion staring into the fire, his expression pensive.  Monica regarded him in silence for a moment, wondering what could be causing such a worried countenance upon his handsome face.  He seemed miles away and then she would notice a flicker of pain in his green orbs that caused a subsequent ache in her heart and then suddenly she knew as if he had told her himself.

Walking over to him, this time is was Monica who knelt down in front of him, bringing him from his reverie.

“Angel,” Andrew attempted a smile, but for the little angel, it didn’t disguise what he was really thinking about.

Serious brown eyes peered up into his, taking in every feature of his face, every trace of sadness as she wrapped his hands up in her much smaller ones.  Monica could see the confusion on his face, yet all she could think of was placing his heart at ease.

“Andrew,” Her voice was scarcely a whisper as she brought their conjoined hands to her heart, “Please know that I know with my entire heart that you would never, ever hurt me.  I knew you weren’t going to hit me this morning; that you would never dream of doing something like that. You don’t even have that kind of anger inside of you, not even for anyone else, yet alone for me.”  She watched his expression change to one of surprise and a tiny smile flitted across her lips, “You aren’t the only one who can tell what those they love the most are thinking, Andrew.”

A nearly inaudible chuckle escaped him, “I forget sometimes just how perceptive you are, Monica.” He then faltered at his attempt at lightening things up and he sighed softly, “This morning, when you flinched and tried to defend yourself…Angel, I wanted to die.”

“But don’t you see?  It wasn’t you.  I’ve been able to think of nothing but John since that assignment ended, Andrew.  Your scolding me was just that and you had every right to be upset.  My human form, it could have drowned out there had you not been there and that would have caused you such pain, regardless of how quickly the Father brought us back together again.” Bringing his hands to her lips, she kissed his knuckles lovingly and with great trust, “Your tone, brought on by fear for my safety, just made me think of John and the way he spoke to me just before…just before he hit me.  I was caught up in those memories, Andrew and those memories are what caused my reaction.  You would never hurt me.  I know that as sure as I’m here with you now.”

Dark eyes studied his face, his eyes as she watched some of the tension drain away from him, “I love you so much, Andrew.  You are my love and protection, never my harm.”

Releasing her hands, Andrew delicately and instinctively rested his palm against the offended cheek, watching as she drew in a sharp breath at his own perception, “You are my heart, Angel as it beats for you alone.” Moving closer, his lips grazed her cheek and caught the single tear that escaped her eye.

But then concern clouded his expression once more, “Baby, you have a fever.”

“I think I may have caught a wee cold from this morning,” she confessed, knowing the doting that was about to happen and she was right.  No sooner were the words out that Andrew had pulled her up to sit back on the sofa and was wrapping a quilt around her legs and yet another one around her shoulders and Monica couldn’t help but to laugh, “Andrew, I’m all right.”

But he shook his head firmly, “Your human form has always been delicate, baby, and you and I both know that if you don’t take care of a cold, it will end being something much worse.  So, please, no arguments.”

“Oh no, Andrew, no arguments,” Her dark eyes showed a bit of despair, as she didn’t want him thinking she was defying him when he just wanted to take care of her, “It’s just that I don’t want you to worry so much, but I’d never argue with you.”

Sensing her remorse, Andrew smiled, “Angel, I know that and I know you weren’t arguing.  It’s just that you can be quite a stubborn little angel girl at times,” He kissed her forehead lovingly, “And that is just one of the reasons I love you so much.”  Seeing her gentle smile reappear, he leaned back, “Let me fix you some tea and then perhaps we could talk.”

“But you’ve already made coffee.  I could smell it as soon as I woke up,” Monica pointed out, “So there is really little sense to make tea too.”

“Well, generally, there wouldn’t be, unless a certain little angel managed to get sick and I know for a fact that tea will soothe her throat much better than coffee.” He laughed at her tiny pout, but they both knew he would not give in to it, “I’ll be right back.   Are you hungry?  You barely touched your dinner last night.”

“I know, but I don’t have much appetite right now,” Seeing his stern expression, she relented, “Maybe some toast?”

“Done.  Be right back, sweetie.”

Monica watched him disappear into the kitchen and she sighed.  She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about John and her feelings about the whole thing, but she also knew that in doing so, Andrew would find the right words to make her feel better.  He always did.

*****

An hour later, Monica lay cuddled up in Andrew’s arms as she told him all the details about her assignment with John; his anger, his drug problem, the way he abused his wife and how their son had been modeling his behavior.

Andrew watched the wide range of emotions that wafted across her lovely face as she talked about all of it. It was all he could do to conceal his anger at her assignment.  Yes, humans had problems and that was the reason that angels were sent to them, but for anyone to strike an angel; for anyone to strike Monica, was almost more than he could bear.  She was the gentlest soul he had ever met and she would never do anything to harm another, yet someone had thought so little of her to inflict pain.  It was something he was having great difficulty reconciling within himself.

“You know, none of it is your fault, Angel.  He wasn’t ready to hear you, not that he had any reason to hurt you.  No one does.”

“It’s not just that, Andrew,” She whispered softly, shame coloring her already flushed with fever cheeks, “When he hit me, it was….it was almost like he was striking out at God in such a horrible way.  I just kept thinking that I had delivered the truth so badly that he needed to reject God forcefully…and the only way John could do that was through me.”

“Now hold on a minute,” Andrew pulled away to look directly into her sad, dark eyes, “Delivering the truth badly?  Monica, those words don’t even belong in the same sentence when we are talking about you.  You were created to tell the truth and no matter how many other angels I have worked with in the past, I have never heard one tell it as openly and honestly and with such great love as you do.”

She gave a tiny shrug, “I didn’t get it right this time, Andrew.  I couldn’t have or it wouldn’t have warranted such a hostile reaction.  It’s never happened before and I have given the truth to murderers and convicts; humans in much worse places then John is now,” She looked away as tears flooded her dark eyes once more at what she perceived to be her terrible error, “There is no other option.”

But Andrew wasn’t having any of it, “Look at me,” His voice was stern, a tone he only used when the situation was dire.  He saw a tearful shudder go through her and he placed his hand under her chin to turn her face towards him, “Angel, look at me.” His voice was tender this time and he watched as the tears pooled in her eyes as she struggled not to let them fall.  His eyes searched hers, seeing everything she was feeling and the confusion over all of it, “Baby…”  Her gaze finally met his with a blink, forcing the tears to escape and a tiny sob to escape her, “You know I would generally not disagree with anything you were feeling, but Monica, you’re wrong on this one.”

“No, I’m not…there’s no other explanation…” Her words were cut short as a soft yellow glow enveloped him and her tears came faster, “Andrew, please, no…”  She knew in her heart that sometimes even an angel needed an angel, but with everything she was already feeling about her own shortcomings, it made her feel ashamed that the Father felt she was wrong enough to use Andrew to intervene.

“Shh,” a gentle finger to her lips silenced her, though the tears continued to slip from her eyes, “The Father and I both want you to know that the things you are thinking about yourself are simply not true.  You delivered the truth to John just as eloquently as you ever had, maybe even more so, if that is even possible because you knew what was at stake for this man.  And you’re right that John was lashing out at God.  He was lashing out because he feels that God abandoned him, when the truth is really that John has never once called out to Him, and you tried to make him see that, but he wasn’t ready to admit it even to himself, Monica,” Reaching out, Andrew swiped at the tears on her face, “He had no right to hit you, none at all and that is why the Father took away the physical pain immediately, but He also knows how hard you can be on yourself and how easily this beautiful heart of yours gets hurt.  That’s why He wanted me to tell you how much He loves you….and I also want to tell you, how much I love you too.”

The little angel’s heart felt so full she thought it might burst as she looked at the angel she loved the most through tear-filled eyes.  In many ways, Andrew’s love was so much like that of the Father; unconditional and constant, and for them both she would be forever grateful.  Somehow she managed to speak around the emotion in her throat, “I love him too,” She whispered, before she looked up into Andrew’s green eyes as the glow faded from him.

She could so clearly see in those eyes all the things he felt for her and it caused her chin to tremble and fresh tears to flood her eyes over all she was feeling, “And you….Oh Andrew….the things I feel for you make my heart ache with so much love.  I can’t thank the Father enough for sending you to me in the first place and I can’t thank you enough for wanting to stay by my side…”

“My precious angel, I assure you, that pleasure has been all mine,” Andrew replied as he enfolded her into his sheltering embrace, now able to feel the contentment that came from her heart and flowed directly into his own.

“I love you so, Andrew,” Monica murmured up against his shoulder