CHAPTER 2

He felt like the walking wounded.

Yes, Andrew had felt anger before at an occasional assignment, but now his nearly unbridled fury was his constant companion. Revealing himself to an assignment came as a great relief, because for just that all too brief moment, he felt the things he was created most to feel; love, compassion, hope. But as soon as the glow faded, the anger crept back into his heart, lying quietly just beneath the surface

He was angry at Tess for the way she had handled things when she had discovered the relationship between himself and the little Irish angel. He was angry at Sam for all but literally ripping Monica from his arms five months ago and there were a few moments when he was nearly angry with God for not intervening.

Andrew was also angry at his own helplessness. He ached to know how Monica was doing, where she was, how she felt. Her absence was like a physical blow while the look of desperation in her dark eyes the last time he'd seen her, haunted him. It had all happened so fast and neither of them had even had a moment to process what was happening, but he knew the basic truths.

He loved the little Irish angel. He hated the judgment that had been reaped down upon them in a matter of minutes. He loathed this separation that had been forced upon them and he despised that he had no idea what to do about it.

"Still here, huh?" Adam appeared on the shore of the lake right beside of his fellow angel of death. He waited patiently until Andrew responded as he regarded his friend worriedly, but then again, he'd been worried about Andrew a lot lately.

"Yeah, well, I guess until Sam comes to collect me for whatever the next assignment is, I can be anywhere I'd like to be. Well, almost anywhere."

Adam sighed. It had been like this for weeks now. Andrew was his friend and his friend was hurting, yet no one who wanted to help knew what to do. It wasn't like they could overturn the decision that had been made, no matter how much they disagreed with it.

"You're not giving up, are you?"

Andrew shook his head firmly, "Never. How could I? I just…I just need to be close to her, Adam. This, whatever it is, is unfathomable."

Silence fell between them briefly before Adam ventured out again, "For what it's worth, buddy, I don't think what has happened is the answer either," He saw a sad smile cross Andrew's face briefly that was a rare sight these days, "I mean, you and Monica? You've been together forever. Instead of asking 'How could this happen?', they should be asking 'How could it have not?'"

"I hear you and have asked myself the same question. We never planned it, Adam-."

"Of course you didn't! No angel would! I know both of you pretty well and I know neither of you would have gone looking for these kinds of emotions."

"Yet here they are just the same," The blond angel replied quietly as he stuffed both hands into the pockets of his khaki pants, "I don't know what to do, Adam. Monica, she's out there somewhere right now and I know her. She's suffering, I'm sure of it."

"You both are," Adam observed firmly, before both angels fell back into silence.

The breeze from the lake ruffled through Andrew's short blonde hair, reminding him of the gentle touch of the Irish angel he was desperately missing. Five months. Five months and Sam had not even bothered to let him know how she was. He supposed that was the point really; like somehow not knowing would make them forget. But the fact was that was never going to happen. There was a far greater chance of Kathleen deciding she was wrong for turning away from God and begging to come back to heaven. Some things were just too ridiculous to imagine.

He wondered how it was even possible for him to be standing here now, hearing the birds chirping and the breeze rippling through the trees; all of God's magnificent creation breathing and alive around him, yet everything in his own world was falling apart. His world felt so far from right and he felt detached from everything around him.

"Something has to give, Adam. I have to find her. I have to know she is all right." But he knew it was more than that; he needed to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to feel her heart beating against his own. He needed to feel as if he could breathe again.

"You can't get away at all?" Adam glanced over at Andrew, hating the torment he could see etched into his features.

"Are you kidding? Sam has been giving me one assignment after another. This is the first moment I've had to stand still in three months time," He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at it, "And I don't have much time left before I have to go."

Adam crossed his arms in front of him and emitted another sigh. As an angel, he supposed he shouldn't be having the kind of thoughts he was currently having, but then again, they were being told that angels should not be falling in love with each other, but that misconstrued theory was kind of blown and standing right beside him.

"Let me see what I can do." The words were out and hanging in the air between them almost before Adam realized he had said them.

"What?" Emerald green eyes turned sharply in his direction.

"Maybe there is something that can be done. Maybe I can find her; you know, ask around and find out where she is working. That would be half your battle solved if you just knew where she was."

"I don't want you getting into trouble on my account, Adam."

The other angel smirked, "What are we? High school humans? I'm not too worried about not being able to use the car, buddy." He grinned, trying to lighten Andrew's mood.

"I mean it." The blond angel raised an eyebrow in his friend's direction to let him know he meant business. Though he was desperate for word on Monica, he didn't want to drag anyone else down with him. It would hardly be fair.

"You let me worry about me, okay? I'm a big angel and I can handle this. All I'm going to do, Andrew, is ask some questions. Nothing forbidden about that; asking after a friend is all," He met Andrew's gaze, "And I have a feeling Monica would love to know that you're okay too. Any particular message you'd like me to convey?"

He looked quickly back to the water, watching the reflection of the sun as it played upon the soft ripples. His jaw tightened as he fought back the wide range of emotions and was finally able to speak, "Tell her I love her."

Laying a reassuring hand on Andrew's shoulder, Adam nodded his head, "Done."

As the angel disappeared, Andrew again glanced at his watch and sighed. It was time and no matter how satisfactory it would feel, he didn't want to keep Sam waiting.