CHAPTER 14

The air and the fragrance of early spring filled her lungs and her senses seemed to completely come alive. The trees were just beginning to get little buds on them and the old magnolia tree a block down from the apartment was already in full bloom, its perfume floating through the breeze and guiding her steps.

Monica was almost surprised to find herself feeling undeniably happy. The town was on the precipice of spring, there was new life growing within her womb and Andrew was back at her side. Add to that the fact that she felt as if she could feel the Father smiling down on her and the auburn haired angel was unable to help but lift joyful eyes to the sky and whisper a prayer of thanks.

Walking towards town, the little angel carefully avoided the diner. She knew her beloved Andrew would fret that she was out without him as he worried about her but she knew she would be home long before he got off work. The little café where he had bought her lunch was open and she chose a seat outside and ordered a decaf coffee. The patio was crowded as many of the town's residents apparently had the same idea to take advantage of the beautiful evening and the quickly approaching sunset and as she sipped her coffee, she enjoyed watching the people around her and listening to bits and pieces of conversation. She wasn't really paying attention, just enjoying sound of something other than her own breathing. She had always loved all of God's children and just hearing their laughter and small exchanges this evening was enough to fill her heart with great joy.

Monica's hand moved to rest over the tiny bulge on her stomach as she carefully considered that she was, at the moment anyway, a part of this human race. Yes, her nature was still angelic but right now, her body was completely human, but this little life growing inside of her made her feel as if she was a part of something special; something no other angels had ever been a part of, only she and Andrew.

Smiling to herself as she took another drink of her coffee, her mind was suddenly focused on the conversation of two elderly women who were sipping sweet tea at the table across from her own. The person they were talking about immediately grabbed her attention.

"Did you see Allie today? That poor dear. Can't believe it has been five years. Feels like it happened yesterday."

"I did see her as I stopped in the diner for lunch just to see how she was doing. She's a strong one but you can always see the weight of the world on her shoulders on this day each year. I'm not sure I'd have survived what she went through. Such a terrible accident."

"She and Ryan were so much in love…and that sweet little Jonah. Cannot imagine losing your husband and your son in the same week."

"Worst tragedy this town had seen in a while. Such a small place and not much happens here, Lord knows and then when something does, it is so heartbreaking."

The coffee cup felt frozen in Monica's hands. They were talking about Allie; about how some terrible accident had taken her family from her and the little angel's heart broke for her friend. How could Allie have never said anything about this to her? Her mind turned as she went back over every conversation she'd had with the human and finally one comment returned to her memory.

"Not too long ago, I had that same lost look in my eyes you got in yours now and a couple of angels helped lift me up so I could keep on keeping on."

Monica's first impulse was to run to the diner and hug Allie and tell her how sorry she was for her loss, but a moment later, she supposed that would not be the best form of action. She wondered what kind of accident had taken her family from her and she wondered once again who Em was. The woman had mentioned Ryan and Jonah but nothing about anyone named Em.

The thought occurred to her that there was a library a few blocks over and she pondered if they kept old newspapers on file on the computer. Laying down the money for her coffee, the angel got up and made her way down the street. She was a little over confident however, as the library didn't seem to be where she had last seen it on an outing with Andrew, so it took her twice as long to finally stumble upon it. Actually finding it however, did make her feel as if she had conquered a battle.

The local newspapers were on the computers so after much trial and error, Monica was finally able to find a newspaper from just over five years ago; the day after the accident and it had made the front page. Dark eyes read article and held much anguish as she read about the traffic light being out and the driver of the car not thinking about stopping. Another car, driving over the speed limit had rammed into Allie's husband's car on the passenger's side, instantly killing Jonah. The other driver was charged but due to the outage of the lights, got a reduced sentence, though he was still serving his time from what Monica could imagine. The name of the driver of the car was not listed as the driver had been under eighteen years old. But there was no mention of what had happened to Ryan.

It had truly been a horrible, tragic accident.

Sitting back in her chair, the little angel wiped at her eyes, imagining Allie's grief, even as her hand moved to stroke her belly. Already Monica knew she would lay down her very existence for the life of the little baby that belonged to she and Andrew and the mere thought of something terrible like this ever happening to her child or Andrew caused her to stifle a sob.

She wished there was a way to broach the subject with Allie but it felt wrong to admit to looking up the accident because she had overheard someone talking about it. The only way to offer comfort or any words of wisdom was for her boss and friend to confide in her and there was no guarantee that would ever happen.

Frustrated, Monica stood up and prepared to leave the library only to discover that darkness had fallen while she had been inside. The sun had been fading in the hour it took her to get here but she had been on a mission and had not given much thought to it.

Her first impulse was to try to find her way home but then she thought better of it. If she had learned one lesson over the last two weeks with having Andrew back in her existence it was what he had been constantly telling her; that he was there for her.

Walking over to the desk, she smiled at the elderly librarian, "Excuse me. Is there a phone I could use? I hadn't realized the time and I am a wee bit far from home and wanted to call my…" She hesitated, wondering what to call Andrew. Boyfriend seemed silly, "My friend to see if he can come and get me."

The woman looked as if she might turn the young woman down as it was against policy but something about the Irish tongued lady resonated with her. Her face was so hopeful and earnest she found herself nodding, "Come with me, honey."

An hour later, as Monica stood just inside the library doors, she saw Andrew walking with great purpose up the sidewalk. Waving goodbye to her new friend, Eva, the little angel hurried outside to meet him and found herself immediately wrapped up in his warm embrace.

He centered himself by holding her close as her call had scared him a bit though she had assured him she was fine and simply lost track of time. But finally he spoke, his fingers running through her long auburn hair, "Let me guess. Bored and lonely?"

A tiny giggle escaped her as she gazed up at him with great love in her eyes, "Maybe a wee bit. It was such a nice night."

His expression softened as he brought his lips to hers in a tender kiss, "I'm glad you called instead of trying to find your way on your own, Angel."

"Well, I'd like to think I have learned a few things from hanging out with you over the years," She was still grinning up at him, her sadness over Allie forgotten for the moment in light of Andrew's loving, green eyes, "And I already worried you with the chair incident today."

Andrew laughed and kissed her again, more slowly this time, stealing her breath as his fingers tangled in her long, auburn hair, "I missed you today," He whispered, pulling away just enough to speak the words before kissing her several more time, not with the same passion but with no less love, "Are you hungry?"

"A wee bit. Do you have to go back to the diner?"

"As a matter of fact, I do not," Releasing her, his heart skipped a beat when she sweetly slipped her hand into his as they started walking in the direction of the soup and sandwich shop in the next block, "So what inspired you to go the library? Did they give you a card?" His wink caused another giggle to escape her.

"No. I was looking something up on the computer," She crinkled up her nose, "And you know, I never realized how complicated the computers are, Andrew. There are a great many steps to just access a document."

He suppressed a smile. She was so wise about so many things but some of the human inventions, like stoves and computers, puzzled her completely. He found it all adorable, "Well, Angel, if we have time one day, I could probably you show you around a computer.

"Actually, I find your lessons about the stars more interesting, I think." He squeezed her hand affectionately and she continued more seriously, "How was Allie today?"

He fell in step with her change of topic, rather accustomed to her jumping from one thing to another in a blink of her lovely brown eyes, "She seemed fine. We were pretty busy in the afternoon and a few of her friends stopped in to talk to her. We slowed way down tonight so when you called she told me to go get you and not come back until tomorrow afternoon."

Andrew immediately noticed her silence in the next few moments, but waited patiently, knowing she would voice her thoughts eventually. He knew that something was on her mind but she was not one to be pushed, though he was the only one who could get away with doing just that if he had no other option. This was not one of those times.

"Allie's family was killed in an accident five years ago," Monica finally stated softly. Looking up and seeing the worried look on his face, she continued, "I heard two women talking about it when I stopped for coffee earlier and that was why I went to the library. Her son, Jonah, was eight years old and was killed instantly. The article said her husband, Ryan, was transported to the hospital, but the women today said Allie had lost them both, so I imagine Ryan died later," Hopeful eyes gazed up at him once more, "Do you remember them? Did you take them Home?"

His brow furrowed, searching his memory, "I don't believe I did, Angel. I would have remembered this place. What a tragic thing for Allie to have to go through."

"I want to speak to her about it, but it doesn't feel right to admit I went to the library after hearing strangers talking about it. She hinted to me the night she took me in that she had been in a bad place once where she was helped…I wonder if this was the time she was speaking of, Andrew."

"Sounds like it," He agreed, leading her across the street to the little sandwich shop, where they slid into a booth across from one another, "And I agree with you; bringing up the way you found out may not be the best thing, though I certainly understand that heart of yours wanting to comfort her." Reaching across the table, he linked his fingers through hers as they waited for the waitress.

"Maybe one day she will bring it up to me," Monica said with a little sigh.

He hated seeing her even a tiny bit sad, so he elected to change the subject, "So what really propelled you out the door this evening? Nothing to do with my ban on chairs, was it?"

Her eyes sparkled with his teasing, "No Andrew. I had the window open and the air was so fresh and the wee birds were singing to me, and it seemed they were begging me to come outside with them. So, I went to our favorite café and had a cup of coffee and then I decided to try to find the library, which was a bit more complicated than I had anticipated…"

Andrew chuckled and brought her hands to his lips, "How I love you, Angel. My existence would not be anywhere near as interesting without you in it."

"And mine would be nowhere near as blessed."

XXX

Tuesday night at the diner was unusually busy; busy enough that Monica was forced to give up her favorite booth and retreat back to Allie's office in order to make room for more patrons. Though Andrew preferred her in plain view, he knew she was back in the miniscule room working on the order for the weekend. He was cooking and Misha was serving with some help from Allie, while their new dishwasher, Brandon, was finally working at a reasonable pace.

The blond angel was not crazy about the new help; he had seen the looks the new dishwasher had given to Monica when she wasn't paying any attention to him and they left Andrew feeling unsettled. It also made him take every opportunity to let Brandon know that the little angel was spoken for.

"So when are you making this official?"

Allie's question pulled the angel out of his reverie, as he tossed another raw hamburger onto the grill, "Excuse me….Allie, I'm not sure what you're…"

"I'm talking about Monica," She interrupted pointedly, "That girl is going to have your baby and you need to be making an honest woman out of her. She loves you to death; that much is clear and I can tell you love her every bit as much, so why on earth are you waiting to marry her?"

For a split second Andrew wondered what Allie's reaction would be to him picking his jaw up off the ground and putting it back in place. He was dumbfounded with her question and had no idea how to answer it, "Allie…"

"Listen I know you two have people out there against you but how much do they really matter? Andrew, sometimes love like this only comes once in a lifetime and you need to experience it to the fullest…not that you haven't already," Her wink caused his face to blush bright red and caused her to chuckle, "I'm not talking about THAT. What I'm saying, honey, is that if you know something is right, then it's right and you don't want to waste a moment of the time you have been given together because you never know when it could suddenly be taken away."

"Allie, it's just complicated-."

"I beg to differ," She dumped a bag of frozen fries into the basket and lowered it into the oil, "You love her, don't you?"

Andrew gave her a pointed look, "You know I do."

"And I know she loves you. So what on God's green earth is so complicated?"

He swallowed hard as he flipped the burgers on the grill, "When you put it that way, Allie, nothing at all is complicated but there is more to it than that…one day we may have to go back to our…former lives."

"All right. Let's say you do and let's say there are folks not too happy about it still, but guess what? You're married. There's nothing they can do about that."

Andrew pondered her words. They were partially right and they were as right as they could possibly be until she took into consideration that they were angels and she wouldn't unless they told her, which they wouldn't. But Monica's condition was purely human…and what had placed her in that condition was purely human…

"Put that burger on here, sugar. He wanted it medium rare," Allie interrupted his thought process, "Just think about what I said. I've been around the block a few times, honey, and there is no doubt in my mind that you two kids are supposed to be together, and if you know it too, then what is holding you back? That's the question you need to answer."

Andrew was still pondering that question a few hours later when he and Monica were walking home hand in hand. He knew she was stealing little glances at him out of concern over his silence and that it was only a matter of time before she voiced her worry. He was right.

"Andrew?"

The endearing way she said his name was as soothing as a warm spring night, "Yes, baby?"

"Why are you so quiet? Is something troubling you?"

He sighed heavily, unsure what he wanted to tell her exactly. The truth was his best bet as she was too intuitive for anything else, "I want to ask you something and before I do I want you to know that nothing bad has happened, okay? I haven't heard anything from anyone at Home, other than Adam and I told you about that. So, everything is fine, Angel, and my question is simply out of curiosity. Nothing more. All right?" Despite his best attempt to reassure her, he felt the tremble go through her.

"All right," Her voice sounded small and frightened and it did little to make her feel better when Andrew stopped walking and pulled her into his arms.

"I meant what I said," Andrew whispered into her ear, "You have nothing to be nervous about, Angel Girl. I'm not having this conversation until you believe that and you know I would never lie to you."

Monica breathed in the scent of him and felt the safety of his arms around her as his hand stroked her hair, "I know that. I guess sometimes I just get afraid that something is going to take you away again."

He pulled away enough to take her face into his warm hands, "Never." He stated firmly before bringing his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Pulling away he kept her face cradled in his hands, "Not going anywhere." He whispered softly to her, his voice so gentle and so tender, she closed her eyes and allowed the warmth and love in those words to flow over and through her.

"Thank you," Monica whispered in return, wishing they were home already so she could curl into his arms.

"Not for that, Angel." Kissing her again, he released her face and took her hand up in his own again as they resumed their five block walk home, "What I wanted to ask you is merely something I have been pondering today and I am not sure what I believe is the answer…and I guess I wanted to know if it is something you have thought about at all."

"Ask me."

"Okay, in five months, you and I are going to become parents," Releasing her hand, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her closer and he kissed the top of her head, "and for the record, I personally cannot wait for that moment." Getting the smile he'd hoped for, he continued, "I guess what I have been wondering about is what will happen after the baby is born."

She glanced up at him nervously, "I…I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

He raised his eyebrows in near disbelief. Monica the angel was a thinker; he knew that about her and had always known that about her, "Really? Not at all?"

She fell quiet for a moment as she let out a small sigh and glanced up at him, "Before you found me a few weeks ago, I spent a lot time living in the past," Seeing his perplexed expression, she continued, "Whenever I had free time, I would find a quiet place to think. I missed you so desperately, Andrew, and I didn't know if I would ever see you again, so I would close my eyes and try to relive every moment we had ever spent together. I would even whisper out loud to you; telling you how I felt, how much I loved and missed you, how much I wished you were with me…"

"Not like you had anyone else to talk to," Andrew replied, his voice holding a touch of bitterness as he remembered how Adam had described her broken relationship with Tess.

"No," Monica's voice was almost a whisper. She loved her supervisor deeply and she tried not to allow herself to think about what their friendship had been reduced to. She knew Andrew was beyond upset with Tess, and she allowed him that, but she hated to harbor such ill feelings toward someone who had been so important to her existence and in many ways, still was, "I was certain at the time that thinking about all the moments you and I shared was the only thing that held me together. Those memories were the only way I could be with you. Then when I found out about the baby, I was on the brink of panic all the time; fearing bringing our child into the world without you, what would happen to the baby and I once he or she was born. I was worried that the one thing I still had that was a part of you would be snatched away from me. I wasn't sure I would be able to survive that as well as losing you."

The arm around her shoulders tightened protectively as if trying to shield her from the pain of her uncertainty. They had come to the house by now and Monica stopped walking to look up at him as she reached for his hands, ":I spent months either mourning and longing for a past that could not be repeated or feeling terrified of a future I could not imagine. So when you found me, I decided that I only wanted to live in the present. I want to treasure every single moment with you because I don't know if or when they will be taken away."

Andrew looked into her dark eyes, seeing the truth of the world written in them. He had spent some nights watching her sleep as he had worried about the unknown that was their future. But the little Irish angel who had stolen his heart so many years ago had been existing in the present, and only partially due to fear. It was more due to her desire to live in the moments, every single one of them that they were able to share together.

A teary smile spread over her face at the love she could see radiating from his eyes, "I may not always succeed in not being a wee bit afraid of what could happen and there are days where I miss doing the work I was created to do but if my options are going back to work with Tess and never seeing you again or being here with you now, I have to chose now. I just…I love you so much and I don't ever want to be without you again. I've been there and…it was the worst time of my existence."

"Mine too," He whispered, framing her meek face with his hands, "My existence without you, Angel, it was…unfathomable. I wasn't complete without you," Andrew drew in a breath, ragged with emotion, remembering the horrible months of not knowing where she was or if he would ever hold her in his arms again or even touch her at all, "Listening to you, to how you have been handling things, I cannot help but wonder if we are maybe not the ones who were wrong. What if the ones wrong are Tess and Sam? What if our being together is in the Father's plan? How else could our hearts have turned to one another?"

"I wonder those things too. If we weren't created to feel such things, how can we without it being a gift from Him? I'd like to think that God saw something in our relationship that we always knew was special or maybe He knew from the moment that He created me that part of my soul was made to love you."

"I believe that is the truth, baby and I am so thankful it is so." He pulled her close to him in a tight, protective hug, knowing he would never again take for granted the feeling of having her in his arms, "I am so incredibly in love with you, Monica. I can't imagine being away from you like that again."

"Me neither," She murmured and he could hear the tearfulness in her words.

Andrew held her for a few more moments before her led her into their apartment, even as Allie's words ran through his mind.

Let's say you do and let's say there are folks not too happy about it still, but guess what? You're married. There's nothing they can do about that."